jelixavetaa
New Member
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
- Messages
- 8
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I'm 17 and for the last 2 years I've been living very unhealthy. Smoked cigarettes, drunk lots of coffe, didn't eat breakfast, used to get drunk, smoked weed... I also had a lot social problems with friends, guy I really loved used to use me, had a lot of mental breakdowns, besides that I was trying to be the best student in the class and to hide all the problematic stuff I was doing from my parents... At the end of school year, I was under big pressure about my grades. I was really tired, still having just irregular sleep, not eating breakfast, just drinking coffee and smoking. In the middle of june my "best friend'' told me some really upsetting stories about me, even including my parents in that. That day I drunk 3 cups of black coffee, smoked whole pack of cigarettes and ate only just at 4.00 pm. I cried liked never in my life and just 2 hours later - I heard that 14-year old girl from my town passed away from heart. At first I was sad but not upset. Then I started studying biology (lesson about heart) for my tomorrow exam and just few minutes later I couldn't breath, my heart started to beat so fast, and automatic thought was that because of coffee and nicotine something is wrong with my heart! I was thinking that was the end. Told my parents and begged them to take me to hospital. We didin't go (because of the whole town and the hospital was in the chaos then), and the state I have been into lasted for 2 hours and maybe even more! I was so upset that I even told my mum to call priest for me to confess! My mum is pedadgogue and she kinda knew that there was nothing wrong with my body and that it was just panic attack. I somehow relaxed and fell asleep. Early that morning I woke up again with same symptoms and started shaking. I went to school, and beacuse I still felt bad I went to my doctor. We've done EKG and blood analysis but everything was fine. I told her how and why I felt upset and she said it's because of stress and coffeine, but that I'm complitlly fine.
I was bussy about my grades so next few days I couldn't think about it. But then again I started sweating, my chest was hurting so I decieded to see school psychologist. Ironically, I planed to study psychology, and I kinda knew that it might be anxiety. So I went and told her the whole situation and she just confirmed my doubts- it was anxiety and panic attacks. She told me that I just need rest. Because school had finished I haven't gone anymore. I told my mum that I wanna go to the private psychologist but where I live it's still shame for smbdy to see psychologist...
I quit smoking, coffee, alcohol, toxic people and for 2 weeks (I had panic attacks still but I knew it was just panic so I kinda learnt to get over it when it comes) I felt better because I knew it was just panic attacks.
But 1 month ago it got worse ( this is how I feel right now still) : I can't stop thinking about my heart, I'm constantly listening to my heartbeat, I am so in cramp, I started feeling pain in my chest and around it (especially around heart area). Now I have problems with stomach, lump in throat, and I CAN'T STOP THINKING about what happend to that poor girl. Now (because I believe in the law of attraction) I'm afraid that because of my negative thoughts something is wrong with my heart and that something is going to heppen . My thoughts are usually : "How does it beat", "Can it beat?" ," What if I just suddenly fall and that's it?" and similiar from morning to the night. I still have panic attacks but I can't control them anymore, neither I can control my thoughts. I'm constantly in a fear that something bad is going to happen, and I imagine THE WORST scenarios in my head. But my biggest fear is that (I don't know why?) my body and my heart (organ) can't take this anymore. I NEED HELP PLEASE
I was bussy about my grades so next few days I couldn't think about it. But then again I started sweating, my chest was hurting so I decieded to see school psychologist. Ironically, I planed to study psychology, and I kinda knew that it might be anxiety. So I went and told her the whole situation and she just confirmed my doubts- it was anxiety and panic attacks. She told me that I just need rest. Because school had finished I haven't gone anymore. I told my mum that I wanna go to the private psychologist but where I live it's still shame for smbdy to see psychologist...
I quit smoking, coffee, alcohol, toxic people and for 2 weeks (I had panic attacks still but I knew it was just panic so I kinda learnt to get over it when it comes) I felt better because I knew it was just panic attacks.
But 1 month ago it got worse ( this is how I feel right now still) : I can't stop thinking about my heart, I'm constantly listening to my heartbeat, I am so in cramp, I started feeling pain in my chest and around it (especially around heart area). Now I have problems with stomach, lump in throat, and I CAN'T STOP THINKING about what happend to that poor girl. Now (because I believe in the law of attraction) I'm afraid that because of my negative thoughts something is wrong with my heart and that something is going to heppen . My thoughts are usually : "How does it beat", "Can it beat?" ," What if I just suddenly fall and that's it?" and similiar from morning to the night. I still have panic attacks but I can't control them anymore, neither I can control my thoughts. I'm constantly in a fear that something bad is going to happen, and I imagine THE WORST scenarios in my head. But my biggest fear is that (I don't know why?) my body and my heart (organ) can't take this anymore. I NEED HELP PLEASE