Hurt&Hopeful
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No worries, @Rosy ! It takes some getting used to. You're doing great!
Don't know what to do anymore. I'm terrified. Anxiety 24/7.
- Thread starter Butters
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Hurt&Hopeful
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You're doing great, Rosy! So glad you're here.
Hurt&Hopeful
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I can only imagine what it was like to be going through this 60 years ago. 
My grandmother and my father both struggled with anxiety as well - my grandmother was diagnosed with "female hysteria" (I'm rolling my eyes as I type this) and given a hysterectomy and electroshock treatment, then strong drugs. She passed away about 12 years ago, and I wish I could have known her as a young woman - I think we actually would have had a lot in common. My father had it a little easier - people started understanding depression and anxiety, and he started getting treatment in his mid-40's. The medications were a little rough even then, though, and he went through some tough times. There was still a lot of the "why can't you just be content and happy?" talk in our family. Now that I'm around that age, I understand what he was dealing with, and I absolutely think that he was influenced by growing up with a parent that suffered from mental illness, just like I was. The difference is that I was able to get some help and treatment early on (early 20's), and it's made a big difference for me. So I'm grateful that today we have more options and treatments, and the topic isn't as taboo as it used to be - hopefully my son will have resources that I didn't have, and so on and so forth.
My grandmother and my father both struggled with anxiety as well - my grandmother was diagnosed with "female hysteria" (I'm rolling my eyes as I type this) and given a hysterectomy and electroshock treatment, then strong drugs. She passed away about 12 years ago, and I wish I could have known her as a young woman - I think we actually would have had a lot in common. My father had it a little easier - people started understanding depression and anxiety, and he started getting treatment in his mid-40's. The medications were a little rough even then, though, and he went through some tough times. There was still a lot of the "why can't you just be content and happy?" talk in our family. Now that I'm around that age, I understand what he was dealing with, and I absolutely think that he was influenced by growing up with a parent that suffered from mental illness, just like I was. The difference is that I was able to get some help and treatment early on (early 20's), and it's made a big difference for me. So I'm grateful that today we have more options and treatments, and the topic isn't as taboo as it used to be - hopefully my son will have resources that I didn't have, and so on and so forth.This sounds like my family too. My dad and an uncle on my mom's side had this. My uncle also went through shock treatments. My Dad had spells as my mom called them. I am glad there is help now. But when I was younger that wasn't the case. I hope today goes well for you and me also. Some family are coming so I hope I don't have any anxiety. But sometimes I do and hope no one notices. My son suffers some with this but he is the silent type. I never know when he has problems. His wife tells me. lol Better get ready. So glad you are on this site.I can only imagine what it was like to be going through this 60 years ago.
I hope today is a good day for you. It isn't going so well for me. I took a drive earlier this morning just to get out of the house. Now, I have been sitting in my backyard for about two hours reading. I know it's progress that I can read but it's not enough for me. I want this struggle to end. For instance, if I don't get back to work, Ubering, I'm going to lose my car and that terrifies me. It consumes my thought process. Like, hey, get better now or you are going to lose everything. It's just overwhelming, especially since I just got out of rehab on Monday. Sorry for ranting.
Everything seems worse than it is. I hope you get back to work soon too. Did the drs. say when you could go back or is it up to you to see how you feel? Is there any chance for disability or isn't that an option? Let me know how it goes. Keeping my fingers crossed you get back soon Hopefully this week.
Butters, you never rant. You're pretty consistent in just letting us know how you're doing. And today you sound the best since you started this thread. But I agree with Rosy. I think you would easily qualify for disability. You'd still be able to Uber part-time on the days you feel up to it. Glad you're doing better, keep heading that way if you can.
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Hurt&Hopeful
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You definitely sound a little better - I know that feeling of wanting it to end NOW. I wish it worked that way - unfortunately, it usually doesn't for me. I just find one day that I have had an hour or two without a full panic attack. Then a little longer. And over time it lets up and the 'crisis' part is over, and I can get back to regular management of it. But you have to celebrate the small victories - no, they aren't enough, but they're something! And life will go on - you're getting through it!
Hurt&Hopeful
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So sorry you're going through the withdrawal, Rosy. That's ROUGH. I went through that last year, and I had a pretty bad reaction to it all, so I just wanted to say that it DOES get better after a while. Hang in there!
I've been going through this for almost a year now. On and off.
and meds don't seem to help much. It just comes and goes as it pleases. lol Sorry you had to go through that too. Thanks for the encouragement. Hope it leaves soon but doesn't seem that way. Sometimes I don't know if it is that or just anxiety. I am under stress now for medical reasons so will wait and see how that goes. Hope you are doing okay. You hang in there too.
I'm rooting for you Rosy. You can do this.
The past two days, I don't know how I've done it, but I have, I did Uber for 7.5 hours and 4 hours.
The sad thing is I couldn't do it without the help of Valium to keep the anxiety in check. Tomorrow my psychologist and I are going to start dialectical behavioral therapy. I'm praying that it helps some.
To everyone else, good luck and God Bless.
The past two days, I don't know how I've done it, but I have, I did Uber for 7.5 hours and 4 hours.
The sad thing is I couldn't do it without the help of Valium to keep the anxiety in check. Tomorrow my psychologist and I are going to start dialectical behavioral therapy. I'm praying that it helps some.
To everyone else, good luck and God Bless.
Hurt&Hopeful
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Butters, that's GREAT news! Hey - forget the "sad thing" and just focus on the victory. You worked. You took a really huge step, and you made it through it. Small victories, right?
Good luck with therapy...
Hurt&Hopeful
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Sometimes it's 1 step forward, 2 steps back, right?
But I have to believe that it DOES add up eventually. It's a long long process, but you got this. Don't let the things you perceive as "failures" hold you back - it's all part of the journey.Butters and Hurt&hopeful, Thanks for the encouragement I needed that. Butters I am glad you got to work. It doesn't matter that you took meds. That is fine. Hurt&hopeful, you give good advice . I spent the morning grocery shopping. I wasn't sure how I would do but I made it. Of course my husband was with me. lol But now my anxiety is here. I have a funny feeling in my throat so my stupid head said. Hey maybe it is the lorazepam. It's another brand than usual so I had to look up the Labs to see what the inactive ingredients are for both brands. lol See how crazy I am. I just have to calm down. Keep up the good work butters. You too Hurt&Hopeful.
Hurt&Hopeful
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I always hang in there. How are you? Still not that good today but hoping tomorrow is better.
I remember those days when I woke up with chest pains and serious heart poundings... It was I stop taking celexa. I had a bunch of personal problems along with the torturing mental ones. I also laid in bed crying, read a few pages of a book and burst crying...
I read a book called "Healing from depression" by Douglas Bloch, it helped me cope a bit better. I highly recommend it to you.
Remember, these feelings will pass... Take a good care of yourself, stay away from alcohol, caffeine and too much sugar. Maybe practice meditating. Best of luck to you.
I read a book called "Healing from depression" by Douglas Bloch, it helped me cope a bit better. I highly recommend it to you.
Remember, these feelings will pass... Take a good care of yourself, stay away from alcohol, caffeine and too much sugar. Maybe practice meditating. Best of luck to you.