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Don't know what to do anymore. I'm terrified. Anxiety 24/7.

Butters

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I've been battling a nervous breakdown for five months now and it's cost me nearly everything. I wake up with anxiety and it stays with me throughout the day. The nights used to be tolerable but even now they aren't. My doc just changed my meds for the fifth time to Lithium and Fetiva. I'm currently weeining off of Effexor. I just lay in bed and cry all day because of how I feel. It's not fair. It's never gone on this long before without a break. Doing simple tasks like laundry seem impossible. Any encouragement is welcome.
 

triceps

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Butters, it really is not fair. I often think about how you are doing and am so sorry to hear that things haven't improved. Have you been on Lithium before? Sometimes it produces great results. You've been suffering for so long, no sense giving up now. Try to think each day that tomorrow will be better and eventually you'll be right. Hopefully that better day will come soon.
 

Butters

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Hey my man. Been tough. Can't lie. Started the lithium on Tuesday. I'll get bumped up again on Thursday. I'm just so terrified all of the time that this isn't going to go away. I've never been this bad for this long.

How are you doing?
 

triceps

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I'm chronic GAD and am agoraphobic. That's why I'm on the forum so much. Kinda a lifeline for me. I sure can relate to having difficulty with laundry. There are rimes I can't make a pot of coffee (which I shouldn't be drinking) and have balked at making a bowl of cereal as it was seemingly too complicated at the time.

You just don't give up, keep pluggin', ok?
 

Butters

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Thanks man. You are always there with some wisdom.
 

triceps

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I'm old (66) and got on disability right before I would've retired. I've got a great, understanding wife who will ask me to get out of the house and doesn't give me crap on days when I can't. You were working before having this episode, weren't you?
 

Butters

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Yeah. Can't hold down a job anymore though. This is to debilitating. Can't really get out of bed. Congrats to you on the wife. It's great to have an amazing support system. I'm happy for you.
 

triceps

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Thanks. What support system have you got available? Have you thought about going on disability? It's a piece of cake applying online.
 

Butters

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I've got my mother and my wife who I would be in the hospital if not for them. I feel bad crying to them all day though. All I do is lay in bed and cry. I want to beat this thing but feel powerless.
 

scharley1973

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hey butters...just reading some posts after a long and panic filled day at my family christmas. i know what your going thru and i sympathize. its a struggle finding the right medication, if there is such a thing :( idk. me and triceps have talked a bit and he is the most positive, encouraging person ive ever met (on a online site). hes great! and its not like im here to make things worse by any means...i just have more doubt when it comes to the medications we are given. ive been on so many its hard to count and my side effects are worse than my panic. btw, i have GAD, panic disorder and depression. ive worked part time on and off my whole life, im 45. its gotten to the point of it being about impossible. i did apply for disability, triceps kinda nudged me a little to do it for myself, i was scared to do it but im glad i had that push from him or i dont think i ever would of. im still waiting to hear anything but i know your heart ache, i know your pain and i know your feeling of disappointment to your loved ones or friends. its the hardest thing in the world for me to understand, all these different disorders that cripple us :( just stay strong, keep a positive mind and try, try, try, everyday to pull yourself out of the grip of anxiety! we are all here to help and are going thru the same things you are.
 

Butters

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That post really meant a lot to me. Especially after this Christmas was supposed to be fun filled and joyous and instead was miserable for me. Thank you for sharing your story, it so happens isn't very different from mine. And yes, Tricep is the glue that holds this forum together. Hopefully with the holidays and my birthday out of the way things will settle down a bit. I'm always here if you need to chat too. Thanks.
 

Butters

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Not to good. Had a nice meltdown. Anxiety has so many different ways it can effect you. When you think you beat one another one comes and takes its place. Didn't help I got into a huge fight with the wife.

How about you?
 

VNT89

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hey guys, i'm new here, but know the struggle. i'm hoping to illustrate some of my battles, and physical symptoms i experience, its a hell of a long list, but so encouraging to read these posts, as it helps so tremendously. i'm hoping to help others too.

Hang in there butters, I've been through so many arguments with my partner, all steamed from my anxiety too. you feel in a constant loop, you cant escape, but it will improve.

I've been trying so many techniques, cutting sugar, carbs, meds, meditation, more veg, magnesium, (all of which has helped) blood tests, doctors visits, because i suffer health anxiety related symptoms too. physical symptoms range from, loss of feeling in hands, legs, arms, shaking , headaches that last several days, dizziness, feeling of circulation problems, heart palpitations, hearing problems, blurred vision, spine sensations, waves of adrenaline through my brain, sickness, IBS, the list go's on and on. every day, it feels like something new crops up, and i'll never escape it. But talking with others, making little changes to my day to day life, staying active, and busy in one way or another helps so much, sticking to a schedule as much as possible, all distract me from it to a degree. I know its different from person to person, but here to help if you want to talk over anything. there is no barriers here, sometimes, I've been reluctant to even mention much to anyone because, quite frankly, it gets so ridiculous the things i experience, i take a moment to think, no one will believe me, or i am the only one suffering that surely, but i'm not, and you're not. hope this helps,
 

triceps

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Hi VNT. My mornings are, as you describe, ridiculous. I laugh inside at times (couple times out loud) over the degree that my morning anxiety makes me so dysfunctional. I try to have the coffee pot all set up the night before so that I just have to hit the on button to get it brewing. Didn't do that last night and I've been up for three hours, still unable to push myself to tackle that monumentally complicated drip coffee machine. Just ridiculous but I've gotten used to stuff like that.
I'm very fortunate to have a small core of family and one friend who accept me just the way I am. That really helps. But welcome, I hope all of your physical symptoms can be accepted as the ugly side of this anxiety disorder we've been chosen to endure.
 

Butters

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Had to admit myself to an inpatient facility for three days. I was doing amazing until my third day there when I crashed. Today they forced me out claiming insurance said I was there long enough. It was so nice to have had two days where I was the old me and not this mess.

Why did I relapse so quickly? Why am I like this again?
 

triceps

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Had to admit myself to an inpatient facility for three days. I was doing amazing until my third day there when I crashed. Today they forced me out claiming insurance said I was there long enough. It was so nice to have had two days where I was the old me and not this mess.

Why did I relapse so quickly? Why am I like this again?
So what was different about being in the hospital verses being at home? Perhaps that third day got bad knowing you were going to be released?
 

Butters

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I'm sure that's it. Knowing that I was going to be released back into the "real world".

I've been keeping my chin up most of tune day so far. Doing things to stay busy. You are right though. There is absolutely no difference between being in rehab and being home. I should feel more comfortable at home but I don't. Something in our about rehab had an impact on me. It's strange.

Thanks for checking in on me brother.
 

Rosy

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I am new here. have had anxiety all my adult life. Didn't know other people do too. Thought I was alone. I see a psychiatrist and am on meds. Seems sometime they don't help and now having health problems as I am 80 yrs. old. Also having withdrawal from antidepressants that didn't work. All I can say is hang in there and I hope we all improve. I have a wonderful husband who helps me through the spells as I call them. Having support helps.
 
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