I never used to be afraid of eating food or of exercising before, until recently when I nearly choked on a piece of popcorn (I still have the foreign body sensation in my throat, since no dr has examined my throat with a nose scope yet) last week. I went to the ER and the physician assistant was going to use a nose scope but her supervisor convinced her not to, since I could clearly breathe. I'm so upset b/c her choice not to examine my throat with that scope set me up for a week of panic attacks and more ER and urgent care visits that have not revealed WHY I have that foreign body sensation in my throat still. Common sense dictates that the popcorn is no longer stuck in my throat b/c I can talk and breathe. As a result, my panic took over and I nearly starved myself to the point where the ER and Urgent Care providers found keytones in my urine tests, that indicate I'm dehydrated and not eating well. And I lost about 6 pounds. Also, I had to take my cat to an emergency vet clinic that gives discounted rates to clients with low incomes. Luckily, I could afford the vet visit. I'm still worried about my cat today, as she is old and seems to be still recovering from yesterday's 4 hour vet visit. She is eating and drinking and went to the bathroom so that is good. Panic has a strong hold over me still. I lost sleep on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday night, so I am exhausted today. I did sleep from about 5 a.m. to about 9:30 a.m. this morning. Because I went to the ER on Wednesday for symptoms, the Urgent Care on Thursday for symptoms, and the ER again last night for symptoms but left after 3 hours b/c I couldn't handle being hungry and exhausted. Then I spoke to an urgent care nurse over the phone for 30 minutes, and she made a good point that my health problems are long term, and can't be solved by random providers at the ER and Urgent Care. So that relieved my anxiety a lot. I made doctor appointments this week to follow up and establish care. I missed this entire week of work running around like a chicken with her head cut off, going to the ER to Urgent Care. Who is this person?!?! She is not someone I recognize. I never used to be this hypochondriacal about my health before. I need to start eating more calories and more protein with carbs or I'll only get worse. My vision is blurry, and I'm super tired from not consuming a lot of calories. There's no point for me to go to the ER or Urgent Care again tonight, to complain that I am feeling the side effects of self-starvation (although I don't have an eating disorder just a panic disorder and fear of choking). My hope is to try to fall asleep tonight before midnight with the help of Melatonin (if I can make myself take it, if my anxiety doesn't get the better of me). I took my car to the dealership today to get some parts replaced (recall, so I didn't owe any money), then I did some laundry and gave away some furniture for free that people came and picked up. I didn't eat much today either, still panicking that I will choke to death. What happened to me? I really don't know how I became this person?! I had a bad asthma attack on Thursday, and got a nebulized treatment at the ER, but the albuterol made me shaky and panicky until about 6 a.m. Friday morning. So, I have been a wreck. I'm sedentary, and didnt think that I needed to use my inhaler before playing frisbee with my nephew. I've struggled with exercise induced asthma for about ten years; had all kinds of pulmonary workups done, and even quit smoking ten years ago. But the test results show that my lungs and heart (although enlarged from my thyroid disease) is fine. It's maddening to be told there's nothing wrong with my lungs or heart, yet I can't play frisbee without leater having a delayed exercise induced asthma attack. I used to play tennis, run, bike, and go on hikes in my 20s and 30s when I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. But in my 40s, I can't even play frisbee now without having an asthma attack. How do I stop being so scared of exercise?!?! Can anyone relate to how your fears take over your lifestyle and make you into a different person? How do you overcome those fears to get back to who you were? How can I?!