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Dealing with depression while in a relationship with someone who also deals with depression.

DKS

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Joined
May 19, 2018
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#1
I am in a long distance relationship and we both suffer from depression and anxiety. I can manage mine pretty well except when it comes to certain things. One of these is that she doesnt talk to me what is going on. She shuts me out and it cause my anxiety and depression to go wild because I feel she doesnt respect or trust me enough. I am in town for the summer all because I want to build our relationship more, and she said she "Was having a bad day and couldnt talk about it right now.". The thing I want to talk about was scheduling us seeing each other and having a date night. So knowing that I brought her favorite coffee and food to work to give her comfort. Her lack of responding surprised me and through me into a massive depression. I start a new summer job tomorrow and she isnt talking to me. I know she is at work and my freaking out makes her frustrated. We do love each other but it is really hard. I told her in my last message that "We will work on this together, and I am sorry I got mad." Any suggestions to help me get through periods I just want to talk to her but know she needs space. Also any neutral topic ideas to talk about since I cant think anything but this. Thanks.
 
Joined
Aug 31, 2016
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#2
I am in a long distance relationship and we both suffer from depression and anxiety. I can manage mine pretty well except when it comes to certain things. One of these is that she doesnt talk to me what is going on. She shuts me out and it cause my anxiety and depression to go wild because I feel she doesnt respect or trust me enough. I am in town for the summer all because I want to build our relationship more, and she said she "Was having a bad day and couldnt talk about it right now.". The thing I want to talk about was scheduling us seeing each other and having a date night. So knowing that I brought her favorite coffee and food to work to give her comfort. Her lack of responding surprised me and through me into a massive depression. I start a new summer job tomorrow and she isnt talking to me. I know she is at work and my freaking out makes her frustrated. We do love each other but it is really hard. I told her in my last message that "We will work on this together, and I am sorry I got mad." Any suggestions to help me get through periods I just want to talk to her but know she needs space. Also any neutral topic ideas to talk about since I cant think anything but this. Thanks.
Hiya @DKS and a very warm welcome to the forum.
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences. The two of you could be great together because you both suffer the same thing. However, it seems to me that she is not very interested in your relationship. This is the problem with long distant relationships. If she really wanted to see you, and really loved you, she would be made up that you were visiting and making the most of getting to see you while she could. It may be better to go home without talking any more to her and get your own life back. Get yourself a new woman who wants to spend time with you. You have a right to be loved. Don't call her, don't bother with her at all. Give her that space and if she does honestly love you, she will come back. But in the meantime, you may just meet someone else who might just be the right one for you.
 

Rinka

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Staff member
Joined
Jul 3, 2016
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#3
I am in a long distance relationship and we both suffer from depression and anxiety. I can manage mine pretty well except when it comes to certain things. One of these is that she doesnt talk to me what is going on. She shuts me out and it cause my anxiety and depression to go wild because I feel she doesnt respect or trust me enough. I am in town for the summer all because I want to build our relationship more, and she said she "Was having a bad day and couldnt talk about it right now.". The thing I want to talk about was scheduling us seeing each other and having a date night. So knowing that I brought her favorite coffee and food to work to give her comfort. Her lack of responding surprised me and through me into a massive depression. I start a new summer job tomorrow and she isnt talking to me. I know she is at work and my freaking out makes her frustrated. We do love each other but it is really hard. I told her in my last message that "We will work on this together, and I am sorry I got mad." Any suggestions to help me get through periods I just want to talk to her but know she needs space. Also any neutral topic ideas to talk about since I cant think anything but this. Thanks.
Hi @DKS, sorry for replying to you but I hope I can help you anyway.
You mentioned that you both have difficulties with anxiety and depression, right? I suppose everyone is dealing with the hard periods different and she might really need her space and needs to sort things out in her mind first.
In regards to neutral topics, what interests are you sharing? There must be something that you are both interested in, like TV showes, books, cosplay etc. Choose a topic that is easy and takes yours and her mind away from the negative thinking that comes with anxiety.
Since your post is a little in the past, how was your summer and how are you two?
 
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