What’s bothering you right now?

[thundathighs]

Thank you for your reply.

Ugh - so sorry you're going through this. It's really hard - I've been there many times. And it's really hard to be in relationships and deal with all the normal relationship stuff when you're going through it, too.

I don't know your boyfriend, so I can't speak to him or his motives, but I can tell you about my own experience and maybe it will be helpful. First, NO, it's not ridiculous for us to expect compassion and care, especially when we're dealing with panic attacks. However, I've learned over the years that people who have never been through it will not know what to do automatically. My husband is a wonderful, loving man. However, he is not naturally sensitive or empathetic. He has no idea on his own how to help me through a panic attack, or what it feels like. He probably never will. And he has his own hangups and traumas that make it really hard for him to deal with. That doesn't mean he's off the hook. It just means that we've had to have some really hard conversations through the years...what I need, what he needs, etc. He has come a LONG way towards learning how to love me through this, and he still has a lot to learn. And he keeps learning because he loves me. And sometimes he just fails and I have to give him the same grace that I expect him to give me, because I trust him. That takes time...and sometimes it really hurts. I've also learned that no one person can meet all of my needs - I have had to make a conscious effort to connect with other people who fill some of the holes. Again, this is just my life, and not a comment on yours - I chose to marry my husband and stick with him, and we work through each other's **** as it comes up.

I would definitely suggest sitting down with your partner and having a long conversation, in a non-panic moment. Explain anxiety, read about it together, watch YouTube videos if he's not a reader, etc. He can learn !

Thanks for sharing your inner dialogue - we all have these irrational thoughts, I think, and we hide them. You're brave, and you're making it!

Sent from my SM-G965F using Tapatalk

 

[AbejaReina]

I'm sick and anxious about losing some very important mail. Trying to not obsess over it. Made a phone call and it sounds like everything is fine but I'm still having a hard time letting it go

 

[sinsin305]

Hi everyone! Today is not such a great day for me. Everything seems to bother me. The xanax keeps knocking me out and all I want to do is get what I need to be done today. Any ideas...?

 

[Chris]

Hi everyone! Today is not such a great day for me. Everything seems to bother me. The xanax keeps knocking me out and all I want to do is get what I need to be done today. Any ideas...?

Hi sinsin, xanax isn't very good for productivity It's a strong sedative. Have you tried taking a lower dose?

As for the things that keep me rolling through the tough days are anything humorous, coffee, and upbeat music. It'll boost your mood, and when you're in a good mood, things get done. Sorry, that's all I've got. Hope your day went better than expected.

 

[Rinka]

Hi everyone! Today is not such a great day for me. Everything seems to bother me. The xanax keeps knocking me out and all I want to do is get what I need to be done today. Any ideas...?

Hi @sinsin305 Umm.. Did you just start taking the medication? If you have, I’ve heard that it takes a few weeks or so to get used to. Don’t quote me on that but my friend took for a while and she said that for a week or couple weeks she would feel tired but after that she should begin feeling more ‘normal’.

 

[Chris]

Hi @sinsin305 Umm.. Did you just start taking the medication? If you have, I’ve heard that it takes a few weeks or so to get used to. Don’t quote me on that but my friend took for a while and she said that for a week or couple weeks she would feel tired but after that she should begin feeling more ‘normal’.

I think your thinking of SSRI's like zoloft ect (I had that tiredness issue your talking about but with zoloft). Xanax is a take it when you need it kind med, works almost instantly.

 

[atillasmum]

Last night my partner got drunk, the moment alcohol is mentioned I get panicy instantly, lose all train of thought and totally freak out and lose all sense of myself(this is due to issues he has made me develop with his past episodes). Ive told him many times i need time to absorb and for the freaking out to subside so I can actually take information in and nearly every time he reacts instantly in anger and with a lethal tongue so I never get to come back down from panic mode. So yesterday he drank, he got a box instead of 6 big cans which was a bit more for me to take in but I did really really well and managed to stay pretty calm UNTIL he asked for me, I couldn't accept it how he wanted and he said to me ''everything you say and do nowadays you blame it on anxiety then he proceeded to tell me he thought I just had an excuse now" (sorry that Ive just found out after dealing with this since I was a little girl what the hell exactly is wrong with my brain that makes me sooo different from everybody else and instead of telling you I don't know anymore I can actually give you a proper answer)
How on earth does someone who suffers through a lot of the same struggles as me in his own way not understand???
Yay for feeling crappy all the time.. can't wait for my doctors appointment!!!!!

 

[scharley1973]

I thought it would be a good idea to open a thread for everyone’s daily ranting.

Well I will just start:
Just recently I started a new job, in June actually. As it is with all new things for me, it makes me more anxious and stressed, then when I’m already established in the job. Then come my three days annual leave. On the day of my annual leave starting, I got the notice that my partner and I had to move within the next two months out of our flat. The landlord wanted to sell the flat. Then my mom was visiting and every day was just total power and total activity with no time to relax and regain energy. On my first day back to work, I was so anxious, that I was shivering and could not focus at all. I had to request one day sick leave. Funny thing though on the day before, my new manager started. So she met me for the first time when I just came back from annual leave requesting sick leave for the day. Nice start really. The whole following week was just an anxiety rollercoaster. Since then I have the feeling that my new manager, does not like me and thinks that I am stupid and don’t belong in my job.

Well that’s me that’s my rant for the day. How are you doing? What’s doing on today that you want to share and let the steam out?

CAN I ASK RINKA, what you do for a living? it shows on here that you are a staff member...so how do you get that prestiege? just curious, if your like us...what do you do??? seems like your very capable of holding down a job and doing this, which i would think would b part time..

 

[Rinka]

CAN I ASK RINKA, what you do for a living? it shows on here that you are a staff member...so how do you get that prestiege? just curious, if your like us...what do you do??? seems like your very capable of holding down a job and doing this, which i would think would b part time..

I sleep with the admin . No, well yes I do, but that’s not why I’m moderator.
My fiancé and I have created the forum. He is the admin, dealing with the backend of the forum and I’m dealing with the front end, moderation bit. I have a full time position in housing (very stressful). That’s how I earn my living. The forum itself doesn’t make money, it actually costs us.
We created the forum as a kind of self help/ therapy thing, because we both suffer from anxiety and depression. We thought it would be good to create a community that supports each other.

 

[triceps]

I sleep with the admin . No, well yes I do, but that’s not why I’m moderator.
My fiancé and I have created the forum. He is the admin, dealing with the backend of the forum and I’m dealing with the front end, moderation bit. I have a full time position in housing (very stressful). That’s how I earn my living. The forum itself doesn’t make money, it actually costs us.
We created the forum as a kind of self help/ therapy thing, because we both suffer from anxiety and depression. We thought it would be good to create a community that supports each other.

I think you downplay the importance of sleeping with the administrator.That's the only way I've been able to get any jobs. The hard part was that during my working years there wasn't as many female administrators. I'm just kidding but I do get a kick out of your division of responsibilities with you in charge of the frontend while he is in charge of the backend.

Would you accept donations to help defer the costs of maintaining this forum? I'm just asking so I don't get kicked off the forum because of my comments above.

 

[Rinka]

I think you downplay the importance of sleeping with the administrator.That's the only way I've been able to get any jobs. The hard part was that during my working years there wasn't as many female administrators. I'm just kidding but I do get a kick out of your division of responsibilities with you in charge of the frontend while he is in charge of the backend.

Would you accept donations to help defer the costs of maintaining this forum? I'm just asking so I don't get kicked off the forum because of my comments above.

Cheeky sod you are

 

[triceps]

Cheeky sod you are

I'm serious about whether you'll accept donations. You provide a great service to us here and it's very much appreciated.

 

[Rinka]

Thank you so much Triceps, we do try.

It's great you're interested in donating. We are planning a forum add-on to help manage it. we have it already actually, we just need to setup the PayPal address. Hopefully we'll get that sorted soon

 

[scharley1973]

I sleep with the admin . No, well yes I do, but that’s not why I’m moderator.
My fiancé and I have created the forum. He is the admin, dealing with the backend of the forum and I’m dealing with the front end, moderation bit. I have a full time position in housing (very stressful). That’s how I earn my living. The forum itself doesn’t make money, it actually costs us.
We created the forum as a kind of self help/ therapy thing, because we both suffer from anxiety and depression. We thought it would be good to create a community that supports each other.

i didnt mean to sound so brash..if thats even the right word. i appreciate all you do on this site. its helped many many people. that should make you and your husband feel so good. i was just curious on how this all worked i guess. i came across very harsh, i apologize please forgive me.

 

[Chris]

What's bothering me right now is how quiet this site is? Just a couple months back this was a very active site. I don't see many people joining either. What's going on? How come it has lost sudden traffic?

 

[triceps]

What's bothering me right now is how quiet this site is? Just a couple months back this was a very active site. I don't see many people joining either. What's going on? How come it has lost sudden traffic?

I just want everyone to know that it's pure coincidence that the traffic has slowed down since I joined the site. My wife would say otherwise.

 

[Chris]

I just want everyone to know that it's pure coincidence that the traffic has slowed down since I joined the site. My wife would say otherwise.

LOL

 

[Chris]

@Rinka Do you know the reason for the slowdown? Not many new members joining either? Why is that?

 

[Rinka]

What's bothering me right now is how quiet this site is? Just a couple months back this was a very active site. I don't see many people joining either. What's going on? How come it has lost sudden traffic?

There is a story behind it.
Back on August 1st Google made an update on its authority algorithm. Means that if you search for a certain “medical” term, the sites with “high” authority will come first. Those sites are official medical advice sites and blogs. Any forums related to health have been burned by it, because we don’t have high “authority” and the content is not made by medical professionals. Doesn’t matter that it’s a self help thing and the people can get individual responses to their posts, not like just reading a blog or site.
You may have noticed when you search for a medicalised term it doesn't show forums anymore, or at least not many.
It’s very frustrating, we went from almost 700 new visitors a day to now only 35, a 95% drop. Unbelievable. All because of this algorithm update from Google. So thanks Google.
.

 

[Chris]

There is a story behind it.
Back on August 1st Google made an update on its authority algorithm. Means that if you search for a certain “medical” term, the sites with “high” authority will come first. Those sites are official medical advice sites and blogs. Any forums related to health have been burned by it, because we don’t have high “authority” and the content is not made by medical professionals. Doesn’t matter that it’s a self help thing and the people can get individual responses to their posts, not like just reading a blog or site.
You may have noticed when you search for a medicalised term it doesn't show forums anymore, or at least not many.
It’s very frustrating, we went from almost 700 new visitors a day to now only 35, a 95% drop. Unbelievable. All because of this algorithm update from Google. So thanks Google.
.

Good grief a 95% drop in traffic in 4 months lol. That's ridiculous. Can you get traffic from elsewhere? Social media?