Somebody please help me. In the end of April this started. I’ve always had social anxiety and I’ve always got anxious before going somewhere and I always thought it was normal. It was my normal. Well one day I just woke up with a racing heart and I couldn’t help but cry. Sometimes I felt like bawling and I tired but tears wouldn’t come out. It was prom night so I assumed it was because of that. I went to prom and had an amazing time. The next day same thing happened and I didn’t know what was going on so I went to the ER because I was scared that something was really wrong with me. Everything medically looked fine and they said I’m having a panic attack and offered prescriptions. I told them I didn’t wanna feel more out of it then I already did. It was the weirdest feeling. I can only really describe it as feeling out of it and out of touch and genuinely scared about nothing. I started getting better as the days went by. I distracted myself with tv or my phone. Since the day it started it’s been a daily struggle. I can’t call to renew my food stamps, I can’t leave my house. I can’t think about leaving without having a small panic attack. I don’t have a doctor or a therapist or any money for either of those things and I’m only 18. I’ve contemplated suicide so I can stop feeling like this. I’m way too scared to do it and I couldn’t do that to my family but I can’t live like this. I’m just sitting down watching a show right now and I feel so horrible. I get stomach aches every morning (Not pregnant). I can’t leave my house. I can’t even think about leaving. Even staying here I freak out. I’d rather have anxiety in the comfort of my own home. Sorry if this is hard to understand. It’s hard to understand myself. I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll never be okay. Sometime I have anxiety about anxiety in general or the world and I deep think about existence and meaning. I’m so so scared of my thoughts and feelings. What should I do? I know it’s all in my head so I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I feel like I know everything and nothing at the same time....god I’m so scared. And I’m sorry if I spelled anything wrong I’m not too worried about checking my spelling right now.