Should I be worried

[ziggyloo12]

So I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months. We are currently long distance because we attend different colleges. The last two days he has been acting weird over text like he is being short and saying i love u less and what not. He still says it and stuff but I am so worried that he is over me or that he has found someone new and better than me. Im worried that he is going to meet someone who makes me look like a potato and he's going to realize that I'm dumb and not good enough for him. He's such a nice guy and has been nothing but good and loyal to me so I don't know why I am thinking like this. I also had a dream the other night that he cheated on me and I can't stop thinking about it and everything has just seemed so off since then. Im sorry this is so jumbled but I am on the verge of tears right now because I don't know if I am overthinking like my friends say or if there is an actual issue here.

 

[Howlingvapor]

The ex girlfriend I keep bringing up in all these threads (sorry about that btw) was a long distance one. We didn’t even meet each other irl until 4 months into the relationship. It was hell on my anxiety and it didn’t help she was constantly dealing with something and going out with male friends. The trust really started to decline when I found out she had kissed another man on the lips a day after our first time seeing each other in real life. It’s hard trusting a long distance partner when you have anxiety, hell its hard trusting a partner you live with when you have anxiety. They start acting cold and distant and you think maybe they’ve lost interest and given up, but sometimes it’s just a comfort thing, when you do long distance for a while you start to get the swing of things and get comfortable. Maybe you don’t say goodnight to each other anymore, or say I love you less, maybe you go a day or two without even talking much because you feel secure enough to leave each other alone once in a while. To be honest I wish I would’ve done that in my relationship, than maybe she wouldn’t have felt so suffocated and left.

Whatever the problem is if it’s worrying you, you need to talk to him about it. Worrying and letting your mind go to wild places will only make you angry and start to believe that those thoughts are true. Tell him how you feel and try to put things into perspective. Can you think of anyone he might cheat on you with? Does he have a history of that kind of behavior? How long have you been dating? Maybe this is just the end of the honeymoon phase of the relationship and things are slowing down. When you’re not there it’s easy to think about what could be going wrong, but there are plenty of other, perfectly reasonable explanations. Not to say yours aren’t reasonable explanations, I don’t know what your relationship is like or what kind of man your boyfriend is so who knows maybe you’re right, but try talking to him first. He’s the only one that can give you the answers you need, if he isn’t man enough to tell you the truth than he’s just as cruel as my ex was when she got back together with me just because she felt sorry for me, only to run off with a man twice her age she had been seeing while we were broken up and told me all during the relationship not to worry about. She didn’t just betray my trust on more than one occasion, she straight up lied to me so she wouldn’t have to do the difficult thing and tell me the truth. At the end it wasn’t even her that told me it was her psycho friends tagging me on Twitter with pictures of nooses telling me to “end it” because they thought I had manipulated her into coming back. Anyway that’s not the point sorry I was venting a bit.

All my fears may have turned out to be true about my relationship, but it’s not always that way. A lot of times I did blow things way out of proportion and it ate away at the trust between her and I. I accused her of things she never did, got mad at her about stuff that didn’t even matter, got jealous over every jerk that flirted with her or made a lude comment like “nice a**” on a picture she posted. I made so many mountains out of mole hills it’s no wonder we started to grow apart. That being said though, you shouldn’t dismiss your feelings because you’re scared he might get sick of it. If you’re not honest with him about how you feel you won’t be able to work through this mistrust. I went about it the wrong way, I made Marie avoid doing anything that made me worry and it drove her crazy. If I had just listened to her explanations and trusted her until she gave me a solid reason not to it might have saved us.

I hope this helps in someway, sorry it was long, but as you can tell I strongly relate to your issue. I want to say whatever you do don’t do what I did, but to be honest I don’t even know for sure what I did wrong because she never gave me a straight answer, so I was left guessing. Maybe I killed our relationship, maybe she did, I don’t know because she never gave me a chance to fix things and she wouldn’t even tell me why she left. All she said was “I don’t love you anymore and I don’t have the energy to bring the love back.” I’m kinda paraphrasing, but she still won’t tell me why she stopped loving me it was completely out of the blue and it hurt a lot and oh my god I’m talking about myself again sorry I got pulled back into those old feelings and memories when I started writing this and I got carried away. I’m leaving it though because I think it’s important to vent or problems here and maybe you’ll be able to find something useful in my story. Again I hope this helps.


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