Severe anxiety from possible chronic illness (Hypochondria?)

[AnthonyMG]

Hi everyone,

After giving it some thoughts with a new perspective, I think I have a different way to approach the problem which I would like to explore. If any of you can share an opinion, it would be very helpful now. The opinion is about which specialist should I visit in order to discard this possibility that I'm going to describe.

I think that one possibility is that I have a damaged nerve and that it may be the problem that causes the symptoms in the throat. The reason why I'm thinking about this possibility is because, to be honest, I can't be 100% sure that something got stuck in my throat in the first place. But there is something that I can be 100% sure and it's that when I had that meal a piece of the shellfish hard (and pointy as a nail) shell got stuck in my tongue, perforating it almost from one side to the other.

I then removed it very easily and instantaneously, had a lot of pain for a minute or so, then the pain was gone but it was exactly after this that I started feeling like something was not right in my throat. I assumed it was a foreign body (a piece of shell) because that was the most reasonable thing to assume. But after all this time (almost 6 months) and with no foreign body detected in the exams, I'm starting to consider that maybe that perforation of the tongue might have damaged a nerve that is connected to the throat and the symptoms could come from there.

So, I was thinking to go to a doctor with a different approach. This time I wouldn't even mention a foreign body in the throat. I would directly say:

I was having a meal and a pointy shark shell perforated my tongue. Right after that I started to feel like something was not right in my throat and it has been almost 6 months since then without any major improving. Then I would describe the symptoms (the way I already did a couple of times in this thread).

I think it would be important to check this possibility because some nerve damage is easier to reverse within the first 6 months. After that it may not be possible to reverse. And as I'm about to reach the 6 months mark, I don't want to run the risk of missing a chance to get a treatment, so I think I should visit a doctor with this approach just to be sure that I'm not missing out on this one.

So, the question is, which doctor should I make an appointment with?

Another otorhinolaryngologist?
A neurologist?
Or a neurosurgeon?

Thanks.

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[cheer_mom]

Possibly call your regular doctor and see which they suggest.

 

[Cuchculan]

Any doctor is better than no doctor. I agree with the post above. Go through your regular GP first. But nothing saying anything is even wrong. You use the word ' possible '. Which means it might not be anything bad at all.

 

[AnthonyMG]

Possibly call your regular doctor and see which they suggest.

Thanks. That's a good advise, although while I wait for the appointment with the regular doctor (usually takes 2 to 3 weeks) and then waiting for the appointment with the specialist that the regular doctor will indicate me to, it will be more time than I would like to wait. That's why I'd prefer to go directly to the doctor that can discard (or confirm) that my problem could have something to do with a nerve damage.

Especially because time is important, as many nerve damage situations are reversible when treated in the first 6 months, which is the mark that I will reach in about 10 days.

Any doctor is better than no doctor. I agree with the post above. Go through your regular GP first. But nothing saying anything is even wrong. You use the word ' possible '. Which means it might not be anything bad at all.

Hi Cuchculan!

Thanks for your message and opinion. Unfortunately it's a fact that something is very wrong. If you read a bit of the discussion in the previous page of this thread, you'll see. The issue here is not wether there is something wrong or not. The issue is to find out what is wrong.

It could not be anything bad at all, as you say, but unfortunately it has been (the last 5 and a half months) the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life and I have nothing that can tell me that it is not bad and will one day go away.

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[Cuchculan]

Well if that is the case, have it scope. Camera job. So they can have a look down your throat. See if there is any damage done to any one area. Anything that doesn't look right. With the camera, there are two doctors operating it. One on camera duty. They other uses like a small arm thing. Can move it about. Take samples. At least they would be able to see down your throat. What things look like.

 

[AnthonyMG]

Hi again Cuchculan,

Thanks. I already did laryngoscopy but yes, an endoscopy of the upper tract with sedation, so that they can see everything with more detail, including the upper esophageal sphincter that is hard to see with the laryngoscopy, is one of the exams that I will probably perform within the next month or two.

Either way, today I was just looking for an answer to the question:

Which professional should one visit for the diagnosis of damaged nerves? A neurologist or a neurosurgeon?

Thanks again.

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[Iugrad91]

Can you just message your doctor instead of waiting for an appointment? I can email them or now even make a telehealth visit remotely to talk to them and not do a face to face. If you just want a referral you may not need to see them in person.

 

[WilderMind]

Hi Anthony,

I’m so sorry for your struggles and lack of support. I truly hope you can find peace, answers, and some relief no matter what it is you are facing.

 

[AnthonyMG]

Hi everyone,

Just a quick message to leave an update.

I've been feeling better in the last 10 days. At least I've been less anxious and sleeping better. The problem is still there, but even the symptoms are a bit softer, or maybe I have been dealing better with them. So, the nightmare is still playing, but it hasn't been so hard lately.

In one week I'm going for the magnetic resonance of the neck, which will help in the diagnosis. Most likely it is not going to show nothing, but know that is also helpful.

Next I will visit a neurologist to discard the nerve damage possibility and then I will visit an alergology specialist to for an opinion about the diagnosis of severe allergic reaction with damage of the epiglottis, as I think that an alergology specialist should have an important opinion about this diagnosis made by the second otorhinolaryngologist.

And that's pretty much it. I really hate to live like this, with this horrible sensation and strange pain in the throat and it will be very hard if this is for life, but at least when I have some days like I have been getting lately, I can find some strength and believe that even if this does not go away, I can live with it. It's just hard because more than 50% of my quality of life will be gone for such a stupid situation, but I might be able to deal with it...

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[bigjetplane2]

Hi everyone,

Just a quick message to leave an update.

I've been feeling better in the last 10 days. At least I've been less anxious and sleeping better. The problem is still there, but even the symptoms are a bit softer, or maybe I have been dealing better with them. So, the nightmare is still playing, but it hasn't been so hard lately.

In one week I'm going for the magnetic resonance of the neck, which will help in the diagnosis. Most likely it is not going to show nothing, but know that is also helpful.

Next I will visit a neurologist to discard the nerve damage possibility and then I will visit an alergology specialist to for an opinion about the diagnosis of severe allergic reaction with damage of the epiglottis, as I think that an alergology specialist should have an important opinion about this diagnosis made by the second otorhinolaryngologist.

And that's pretty much it. I really hate to live like this, with this horrible sensation and strange pain in the throat and it will be very hard if this is for life, but at least when I have some days like I have been getting lately, I can find some strength and believe that even if this does not go away, I can live with it. It's just hard because more than 50% of my quality of life will be gone for such a stupid situation, but I might be able to deal with it...

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Hello, I am so so sorry you have to deal with this. And on top of it, anxiety over it.
I’m glad you’ll be getting some answers soon and hopefully they will give you answers on how to solve the problem or at least be able to deal with it.
There’s a quote that I love and I would love to share with you:
“Science only goes so far, then comes God”.
What that means to me is that although doctors (Which is the science) might tell you one thing or another; might say there is nothing they can do for you, etc. God always has the last word. Miracles always happen, everyday.

 

[bigjetplane2]

Any update?

 

[AnthonyMG]

Hi bigjetplane2,

Thanks for your message and for reminding of me

I can do an update. Actually I went back to online searching a couple of days ago and I am getting a more and more conclusions. Unfortunately, I tend to conclude that it has to be a permanent damage. To be more precise, the psychologist that I've been visiting (already had 3 sessions) advised me to use an app in my phone called "fear tools", where I can register the situations when I get more anxious, the reasons why it happened, the unhelpful thoughts, the alternative thoughts, etc, so that we can work with it in our sessions.

I'm sharing with you what I just wrote about one hour ago, as it perfectly describes my situation and is the perfect update.

"I thought that the only option that seems to make sense is a permanent damage. The symptoms are compatible with that in their type and in the time that they are last (6 months now). I also thought about what is written in the ct scan report: "spontaneous hyperdensities reflecting calcifications: sequels of previous infectious processes?". It can be that these previous infecciones processes are associated with the episode and the calcifications may be the origin of the symptoms and, just like the otorhinolaryngologist said, it can be the result of an adverse eosinophilic reaction that provoked the irreversible damage.

After a lot of research and reasoning it seems like this is the most obvious conclusion, which is compatible with the permanent damage that scares me a lot. And as the las 6 months were times of great suffering, which I would prefer not having to live them, if I'm told that the next 6 months will be equally bad and then the same after for the rest of my life, I rather not live at all, which causes me a lot of disturbance, anxiety and sadness..."

So, this is the update. I'm not afraid of a serious illness, I'm not afraid of dying, so even if the doctors tell me that they are sure it is not serious, for me it's the same. I don't care if it's not serious, the simple fact that I have to live with these symptoms forever is worse for me than knowing that I have a serious illness. I'm just afraid of the news that it is benign but chronic and without any operation or treatment possible. That's what scares me and leaves me super anxious.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a neurologist, to discard a possible nerve damage. I've been searching about recurrent laryngeal nerve damage and, who knows, maybe it could be a possibility. Or any damage to other nerves in the area, especially any nerve that goes from the tongue to the throat (if there's any at all).

Then, Friday I will go for a magnetic resonance in a 3.0 Tesla machine (the most advanced right now).

Next week I have an appointment with an immuno allergology specialist, to hear opinions about the possible severe allergic reaction (eosinophilic reaction) in the throat and how it could damage the epiglottis and surrounding areas. Hopefully this doctor says that it is not possible or that it is not compatible with my symptoms. I doubt at this point, but I still have hope.

And then I hope I can finally find an otorhinolaryngologist that has the time and will to help me. Because the first one was good for the exams, but when the exams showed nothing, he refused to further investigate the reason of my symptoms. The second one gave me the terrible diagnosis that still nightmares my mind and probably will keep doing for long.

The third one said that he was sure it was a focus of bacteria coming down from the nose to the throat and lodging in the place where I had the injury from the foreign body, but then it was not correct and he refused to any further investigation. The appointment only lasted 8 minutes and he said that it was probably all in my mind. But to come to that conclusion that it's all in my mind, the medical protocols imply the discard of other possibilities. For example, he can't diagnose globus pharyngeus without ruling out other possibilities that imply upper gastro endoscopy and other tests. So he's position as a doctor was not correct, hence I can't accept his diagnosis.

That's why I still need to find a good otorhinolaryngologist that has the time and will to help me, understanding that I'm dealing with a rare situation and that the situation is destroying my life.

This feeling is horrible. It is not horrible for the intensity of pain (it is not that painful) but it is horrible for the type of sensation and because it is always (24/7) present. It is as if someone was making voodoo with me, like pressing a button constantly and the effect is a feeling in my throat that is directly connected with the zone of the body where anxiety is produced. I

t's not like having a chronic hard pain in a leg, which I suppose psychoterapy can help to learn to live with the pain. This is as if it was directly connected with the anxiety production in the body. Hard to explain, but that what it is. If you want to try to imagine, imagine that you have a fishbone lodged in your throat, you feel the urge to take it off as if you couldn't even wait for 1 hour, but they say there is nothing there and you are already living with it for 6 months and the prognostics is that you will have to live with it forever. It's as benign as a bullet in the head...

A long post as usual, I'm sorry. I will keep you updated. Thanks again for your care and help.

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[Ace]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if my terrible anxiety situation can be considered hypochondria. If someone here could help me find out and share some advice on how to handle with this situation, I would be very grateful.

The issue is that I don't have a final diagnosis yet. And I'm not sure if I'll ever have one. And as the symptoms are obviously real and not caused by anxiety, I think it's probably not hypochondria, or it might have something about it, but not exactly hypochondria.

I'm sharing the situation with you...

4 and a half months ago I suffered some sort of accident (still to determine what actually happened) when I was eating hard shell seafood, as lobster, crab, etc. A piece as sharp as a needle and as hard as a rock pierced my tongue. It was not from one side to the other, but it was a deep pinching. It was painful (as you easily understand) but I got no more than a few seconds of pain from it.

After this I also started feeling that maybe a fragment of the shell was probably stuck somewhere in my throat. After finishing dinner, I felt like something was not right. I assumed that a fragment got stuck in my throat. It was not very painful and did not make me feel as if something was pinching my throat (as a stuck fish bone) but definitely something was wrong. Between the 2nd and the 4th day after this, I felt pain in the throat going down to the chest.

And a lot of times it was very clear to me that there was something stuck in there, probably in the area between the throat and esophagus. It even really felt like the material of the crab shell. I was 99% sure that something was stuck in there. I waited for it to go away, which never happened. I went to an otorhinolaryngologist 20 days after the episode. Laryngoscopy found nothing. Then CT scan found nothing either.

But I still have it, it's basically the same symptoms of the first month, not much difference, if any. But it is horrible and it's driving me mad, giving me a lot of anxiety. I'm totally exhausted and tired of this situation that is ruining my life...

I'm 40 and I already had to deal with a few hard and painful health conditions in the past, but I never had something as bad as this. It's so horrible that since the first weeks that I've started thinking that I just wanted to kill myself, which was never a robust idea because I have a lot of good reasons to keep alive and I always had the expectation that some doctor would manage to help or that it could go away on its own with time. But, continuing...

After the exams and consultations with that first otorhinolaryngologist, without getting to any diagnosis, I decided to visit a second otorhinolaryngologist in the beginning of this month, about 4 weeks ago. His diagnosis was:

Severe allergic reaction to the sea food that made my epiglottis shrink in one of the sides. As I actually really have an asymmetric epiglottis, smaller in the left side. And he says that the symptoms are due to this damage, it is for ever and there is no treatment or operation possible to treat it or soften the symptoms. He says I will have it for ever and it will not improve. This diagnosis increased my anxiety even more, to some very torturous levels. I basically couldn't deal with the possibility of having to live with this sensation in my throat forever.

And as I was not totally convinced, as many things didn't match up (I can list a lot of things that seem to be incompatible with this diagnosis), and as I was very anxious the days after I received that diagnosis, I decided to see a third otorhinolaryngologist.

This one has a different theory. As I have (for a long time now) poli-sinusitis, which he says includes a lot of "dirt" in the maxillary sinuses, as well as nasal polyps (a lot of them) and nasal septum deviation, he believes that all this has a direct relation with the problem and symptoms.

He assumes that I really had a fragment of the shell in my throat at some point in the beginning which then came out but the injury that it made created a susceptible site for colonization of bacteria coming from the nose, due to the sinusitis and polyps.

He asked for a CT scan of the sinusal area and for some blood tests. Already did that but still waiting for the results. He prescribed me antibiotics (cefuroxime), nasal wash and Aeromax (budesonide). Fourth day of this medication and no signs of improvement. Actually, the last 4 days have been terrible. Sometimes the symptoms become lighter and more bearable, but the last days they have been very intense and the medication didn't have any impact so far.

He said that with this medication I will improve and feel better. So lets see what happens, as the antibiotics have to be taken for 8 days and the nasal washes and budesonide for 3 weeks. He seemed very convinced, but so did the previous doctor in regards to his diagnosis of the damaged epiglottis.

I want to have faith and believe that this treatment will help, but each day that passes, I loose a bit of it and get more anxious and depressed. I have 3 kids (daughters) with which I spend most of the days, and that's what's giving me some strength to hold on and have a bit of faith. They're also the only thing now that can still make the smile.

As I pointed out in the beginning of this post, I got my tongue pinched and it was right after this that the symptoms of something wrong in the throat appeared. So I'm also starting to think that it could be that it pinched (and damaged) a nerve in the tongue that is connected with the throat area. But maybe that's just a silly idea.

So, in conclusion, I'm between two different diagnosis, one of which is terrible and I hope is wrong, the other one is too good to be true and I hope that it is correct but I doubt it is. I know that there are only 3 options. One of the two diagnosis is correct or there is a third option that the doctors have not considered yet.

But the symptoms are very real and I'm sure that they are not exclusively psychosomatic nor caused by anxiety itself. The anxiety comes from worrying with a real situation, as although the diagnosis is not precise yet, all I know is that whatever the problem is, if it is chronic and I will have to live with this forever, it will be very hard to deal with.

So maybe there's some level of hypochondria, but that is not all. If the onset of the symptoms came from nothing, as if they did not appear after I had that meal, I would accept that it could all be psychosomatic and that anxiety was the origin of the problem. But as it is, I see anxiety as a consequence of the problem which then makes it even worse.

I just don't know to which extent does the anxiety makes it worse. I tried (for the first time in my life) a benzodiazepine about 2 weeks ago, like only 0.75mg of bromazepam, and I really relaxed a lot and became more calm. The sensation in the throat was there but it was much easier to deal with the anxiety out of the scenario. But I don't want to engage in benzo's. I'm looking for a psychologist that can do psychotherapy these days so I might start seeing one the next few days.

But this is such an unpleasant feeling that I'm really very afraid that psychotherapy can't do anything to help. I was feeling so good and so happy before this happened almost 5 months ago... Now I'm all the opposite, it's so hard... and I have so much to loose if this does not go away, it really makes me sad and depressed.

What do you think of my situation? Any advice?

Thanks and king regards,

Anthony.

I can truly understand the Anxiety torture.
I'm having horrible anxiety that meds can't even help over the thought I could have Esophagus cancer which most people die from. I'm still waiting to get a GI scope to see what's going on and then to pile on even more anxiety I had a routine dental check-up and the X-ray found something in my jaw bone they are sending me to an oral surgeon. So of course now I'm under the worst anxiety ever thinking it's Cancer.

I'm a mess.
If I was you I'd get a GI scope to just check you out. Aside from that I can relate to crippling anxiety.

 

[AnthonyMG]

Hi Ace,

Thanks for your message. I'm so sorry to know that you are having a hard time with anxiety. I hope you can soon discard any serious problem and get back to normal.

But don't let yourself down. I wish I was in your situation instead of the situation I'm in. I say this because you are worried that you have something serious, which you probably don't have and you have ways to be sure about it very soon. In my case, I'm not worried that I may have something serious.

I'm just worried that although I don't have anything serious (which I'm very such I don't), I may have to deal with the symptoms I have for the rest of my life without even knowing the origin of the symptoms or the name of the illness. In the past, as most people, I also worried that I could have something serious, then I did exams that proved I was totally fine, and it all ended there. Right now unfortunately that's not the case, because although the exam results are ok, I keep with the symptoms and they don't change, while one doctor told me they might be forever because it can be permanent damage...

In my case by coincidence I'm actually probably going for an upper GI scope with esophagus biopsy's to check for the possibility of esophageal eosinophilia. This is what came out of the appointment I had with the allergy specialist last week. But first I'm going to try with a treatment she gave me, as the symptoms could get better with it and then we could even come to conclusions even before the GI scope.

I'm also waiting for the result of the magnetic resonance 3.0T that I did a week ago.

Although the month of May has been a bit better than April for me in terms of symptoms and the way I deal with them, I'm still overwhelmed by all this situation because the symptoms are very hard to deal with and the idea of having them for the rest of my life makes me feel very down.

All the best to you my friend. Keep me updated

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[AnthonyMG]

Lately I've been thinking about the possibility that I could just have a scar that is taking too long to heal, somewhere around the upper oesophageal sphincter. I know that 6 and a half months is a long time and it should heal much faster, but the neurologist I visited gave me his opinion and he said that in some people injury in this part of the body may take longer to heal and considered 6 months as still a possible time for this.

There are 2 main reasons that could trigger this delay in healing:

1 - Reflux that makes it more difficult for the wound to heal;
2 - High eosinophil concentration that makes it more difficult for the wound to heal.

Both make sense and 1 is a suspicion from the otorhinolaryngologist while 2 is a suspicion from the allergy specialist.

But I can't find anything in the internet that supports any of these 2 possibilities.

I know that in this forum the subject is different, but if someone has any opinion it would be more than welcome. Or if you know any other forum that I could use to clarify this type of questions, please inform me.

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[AnthonyMG]

Unfortunately I think I found a medical condition compatible with the diagnosis of laryngeal damage with cartilage impaction and irreversible epiglottic injury.

I found it last night and now I know what's about to happen... High anxiety days ahead

I was searching for cartilage damage from autoimmune disease and the first thing I found was "Relapsing Polychondritis"

It has a lot of things in common with my situation:

"RP is a rare disease of unknown etiology described initially by Jackson-Wartenhorst in 1923 and characterized by a recurrent and acute inflammatory process that causes the collapse of the cartilaginous structures and their subsequent replacement by fibrous connective tissue. The cartilage most commonly attacked is that of the auricle of the ear and nasal septum, while the cartilage of the trachea, larynx, epiglottis, ribs, and articulations may also be involved."

I know I probably don't have this specifically, but the mechanism is compatible with the diagnosis that the other otorhinolaryngologist gave me.

So, my conclusion now is that although I might not have this "Relapsing Polychondritis" disease, it is possible that I had an isolated episode of "Chondritis" in the cartilage of the trachea, affecting the larynx and the epiglottis.

This term (chondritis) is what was missing in my searches to get to an explanation for the possibility of collapsing cartilage, which I was even starting to think that was not possible to happen. After all, it happens in many cases and in my case the symptoms and the fact that after almost 7 months they remain the same, really have me very scared about this possible (now probable) diagnosis.

If this is correct, it's very bad news. Because it matches the irreversible damage theory. Which not only means that I will have this problem forever, with the horrible symptoms I've been describing in this thread, but also I will have to deal with the possibility of another episode for the rest of my life. Because if it happened once, nothing can assure me that it won't happen again.



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[AnthonyMG]

Well, a few more information on the ongoing diagnosis...

The mechanism was probably a bit different. When the lobster spicule pierced my tongue, that's where the bacteria (Pseudomonas aeruginosa) found a way to enter the body. Then the bateria quickly migrated and colonized the best place for it to thrive, which was in the pharynx and/or upper oesophageal sphincter.

Then, one of 2 things (or maybe even both) happened:

1 - The "silent" colonization of that area, which then became chronic but without infection (colonization without infection). This is possible as I already found evidence in scientific articles online. So, I might be still dealing with that and the symptoms may come from that colonization. Chances are small, but it is possible and it's maybe my last hope that this could have a treatment;

2 - The bacteria colonized that area and the immune response sent high numbers of neutrophils to fight it. The neutrophils not only fought the bacteria but also damaged the elastine material from the epiglottic cartilage. Damaging the epiglottis and that's what explains the symptoms. In this case, it is a permanent damage and can't be repaired nor treated. I might have to deal with this forever, but I'm not giving up yet and if this option is confirmed I will insist with the doctors to see if they can do anything to treat or at least soften the symptoms.

And also, of course, it can be both things. The damage and the colonization with bacteria still present there. In this case, the symptoms may come from both situations. The unpleasant sensation when swallowing may come from the epiglottic deformation and the pain and discomfort may come from the bacterial colonization in that area.

Next Tuesday, in one week, I'm going to the gastroenterologist (as recommended by the allergy doctor and another internal medicine specialist) to see what he thinks about this and to probably schedule further analysis and an upper endoscopy with biopsy of that area.

The nightmare continues. And euthanasia is not yet approved in my country. It has been a few months ago, but the major court (or whatever they call it) refused it for some reason.

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[bigjetplane2]

Well, a few more information on the ongoing diagnosis...

The mechanism was probably a bit different. When the lobster spicule pierced my tongue, that's where the bacteria (Pseudomonas aeruginosa) found a way to enter the body. Then the bateria quickly migrated and colonized the best place for it to thrive, which was in the pharynx and/or upper oesophageal sphincter.

Then, one of 2 things (or maybe even both) happened:

1 - The "silent" colonization of that area, which then became chronic but without infection (colonization without infection). This is possible as I already found evidence in scientific articles online. So, I might be still dealing with that and the symptoms may come from that colonization. Chances are small, but it is possible and it's maybe my last hope that this could have a treatment;

2 - The bacteria colonized that area and the immune response sent high numbers of neutrophils to fight it. The neutrophils not only fought the bacteria but also damaged the elastine material from the epiglottic cartilage. Damaging the epiglottis and that's what explains the symptoms. In this case, it is a permanent damage and can't be repaired nor treated. I might have to deal with this forever, but I'm not giving up yet and if this option is confirmed I will insist with the doctors to see if they can do anything to treat or at least soften the symptoms.

And also, of course, it can be both things. The damage and the colonization with bacteria still present there. In this case, the symptoms may come from both situations. The unpleasant sensation when swallowing may come from the epiglottic deformation and the pain and discomfort may come from the bacterial colonization in that area.

Next Tuesday, in one week, I'm going to the gastroenterologist (as recommended by the allergy doctor and another internal medicine specialist) to see what he thinks about this and to probably schedule further analysis and an upper endoscopy with biopsy of that area.

The nightmare continues. And euthanasia is not yet approved in my country. It has been a few months ago, but the major court (or whatever they call it) refused it for some reason.

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What does the pain feel like exactly?

 

[AnthonyMG]

Hi bigjetplane2,

Thanks for the visit. I hope you have been feeling better lately.

It's really hard to explain. I can do it in two different ways:

- Think that a fishbone got stuck in your throat and between the pain and the horrible discomfort, you feel the urgency to have it removed. The pain may not be hard, it's moderate pain, sometimes it does not even go much further than just a soft but persistent pain, but the sensation is very bad, like bad enough for one to get stressed after one or two hours without a solution. Now imagine 7 months and the idea that it is very probably going to be forever.

- Forgetting about the foreign body sensation, other way to explain it is: when you swallow it feels like the structures of your throat don't match as they used to. Something from one part of the throat does not fit in the other part and that makes you feel a terrible discomfort as well as a soft pain. But as it happens every time and as you even feel the discomfort when you are static (not swallowing) you can't stop thinking about it. It's always present. And sometimes if feels like all the throat is irritated as if there was actually inflammation or bacterial presence, causing the irritation. That's why it's worse some days than other days. It is always discomfortable, but some days this sensation of irritation is added and it is even harder to deal with it. And that's why sometimes it seems like there could be bacterial variations from day to day.


But the level of pain itself, isolated, if it was for example in a knee, wouldn't even get me 10% of the trouble it is getting. The issue is also the zone where I have it. It is a very sensitive area, vital for survival (breeding, eating, drinking, speaking, etc) and also very directly related with the anxiety processes of the body, making it very hard for one to forget about it for a while.

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[AnthonyMG]

Hi everyone,

Since last time I posted (10 days ago) I've been having some good online support (by email) from an health professional with a lot of experience with difficult situations and with knowledge of mental health and psychiatry. He has been very supporting and helpful. We started to talk about the possible physical causes of my symptoms and he shared a lot of opinions with me.

With time, as he started to know me better, he realised that I have a lot of situations in my life that for my type of personality, it could be the case that my health problem could be some sort of somatization disorder. I understand the mechanism and I accept that it is possible. As you know, since my first posts in this thread, I always considered all the options and this was one of the options that I even verbalised here.

I'm just not totally convinced. I wish I was, of course. It would be really great if I could be sure that my problem is a mental or psychiatric problem. But the complexity of all that happened is keeping me from accepting the somatization disorder as the main suspect for my symptoms. I mean, it started with a specific episode, it did not start from nothing. And the symptoms are basically the same from day one until now.

So, it's hard to get me convinced. I really feel pain in the throat. I really feel as if something is stuck there. And I really feel like something does not fit anymore as it used to fit when I swallow. As if something is crossed from one side to the other, kind of suffocating me.

Anyone has an opinion on this?

Could it be that since the first day, I assumed that something got stuck in my throat but there's never been anything, even though I felt it there scratching my throat as a stuck foreign body?

Or could it be that I actually had something stuck in my throat for a while, or some sort of temporary damaged, but then once it was gone the mind unconsciously acted as if it was still there and provoked the same symptoms, deceiving my conscious awareness?

Is it possible that when I swallow and feel the pain (which happens all the times I swallow without eating), the pain sensation is actually built in my psyche from a mechanism that it developed that makes it feel as real as it is?

You know, I really want to believe in this theory, because it is probably my last chance of having something that can be treated, allowing me to get my life back, even if the treatment is hard and takes a lot of time. But I'm finding it difficult to really believe in this theory, due to the complexity of the situation itself. It did not start from nothing and it is too real to be my unconscious mind playing a trick on my conscious mind, which basically is what happens with this somatization disorder thing.

Thanks.