Not what I expected

[Crazyfewweeks]

Hey all,

Let me start by saying that I’ve suffered since I was a teenager with anxiety. I was medicated for a couple years around 19, but then I was able to cope without medication until recent circumstances.

In Sept 2017 I quit my career which felt like it was spiralling to travel Europe and then to work overseas with an Irish visa. I was very excited for the first time in years to persue something new. After my travels around Europe I spent the next 6 weeks working out my immigration papers in Ireland. When I finally received my residency permit I got a phone call at the end of February that my dad wasn’t feeling too good and there was some concern that he wasn’t going to make it, so I decided to come home to Canada. This was shocking because he was fine when I left. Im going to skip ahead here.. he was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma cancer. He was released from the hospital feeling better and we had hope from his oncologist that he’d beat it after our initial meeting.

We had mixed doctors opinions though and I didn’t feel confident that his outcome was good after seeing his physical state. I helped with home care for about 2 1/2 months, but sadly he spent the last few weeks in hospital in quite a bit of pain and not be able to communicate the last days as the cancer spread to the brain along with an infection.

Fast forward mid a June I started to develop oral thrush shortly after booking my flight back to Ireland. My doctor says it’s stress related, but thanks to online research I have it my head that there is an underlining disease. The only strange comfort and odd coincidence is that my sister has it as well. I’ve been taking an oral antibiotic and 5 days in im feeling quite sick with stomach issues and nausea. Now I have become absolutely narcotic in thinking there is something worse going on that it’s more then side effects to meds and stress. I cancelled my flight due to feeling both sick and now I’m getting additional blood work done other than my CBC and auto differentials. Through those tests it was discovered I had hypothyroidism and follow up resulted that the meds weren’t working.

I felt like I was dealing with the loss of my father quite well, but now my super paranoia about health has kinda ****** me up. Has anyone had anxiety that has caused such physical symptoms?

 

[Kaynil]

Hey there, CrazyFewWeeks, nice to meet you.

I am sorry to hear about your father. It is really sad. I am prone to hypochondria so I understand about obsessing about the idea there is more going on and the doctors not noticing.

I've had anxiety given physical symptoms but never assumed thyroid related issues could be related to it. My doctor pretty much told me my cells are attacking my thyroid. I will have autoimmune Thyroidism, honestly, when she was telling me I thought that finally explained everything I've been feeling but I cannot get medication because I am not supposed to have those symptoms yet so my problems must be the result of something else. In your case, I am happy that you decided to get those extra tests and that they are yielding some results. Hopefully they can find the right medicine for you soon.

Losing someone so close and so suddenly is devastating and we have different ways to react to it that might not be like other people experience it. In my case I migrated to Australia and since then I lost some relatives, including an Aunt I left in good health, raised me and sadly took for granted I'd see her in my next visit to Mexico. Sometimes it takes a while before it really hits. It is important you give yourself permission and time to grieve and not compare times or think that you should be such or don't do such. Don't beat yourself up for it.

Regarding your health issues, right now the best is to not get ahead of yourself thinking what-ifs. If you must, check other doctor's opinions but try not to read much online, that is the quickest way to increase the paranoia because everything bad will feel like it absolutely fits.

I hope everything with your health looks up soon.

 

[Crazyfewweeks]

Thanks Kaynil for the response. While I am still feeling sick I asked my doctor for further tests and I hope that once those results come back that I’ll be at peace, because I’m done with blood work after this. My doctor straight up told me that I’m not sick with anything serious and I need to get those thoughts out of my head. I’ll talk to him about anxiety at the end of next week if I’m still feeling like **** after these further tests. I’ve never been so symptomatic from anxiety before. He thinks I might have caught a stomach bug as well. I didn’t realized how much we can surpress our immune systems with anxiety until now.

 

[Adirv14]

Im sorry to hear of the loss of your father. I also lost my father, he was 43. I was 16 at the time. He had a heart attack. Ever since i reached the age of 20 i have had hypochondria. I recommend seeing someone to talk about your father with. I like you thought i was handling things well until one day it hits you like a bag of bricks.

 

[Imchardo]

Hello. Sorry about your father. I lost my father to lymphoma as well, when he was 57, still relatively young. It sucks, my condolences.

I've had debilitating health anxiety for decades now. I really can't succinctly unpack all the ways it's negatively impacted my life. Mental illness is a bitch.

I can assure you though, from my own personal experience, anxiety is capable of creating symptoms that are, from our inner perspective, indistinguishable from "real" disease. I've had gut pain, chest pain, head pain, leg pain, all at different times and all maddeningly convincing. Time and time again, I've had medical testing done, including far too many CAT scans and an angiogram, ALL of which have been clean and clear.

And time and time again, I've watched my physical symptoms dissolve after receiving reliable medical reassurance.

I've allowed this post to grow longer than I intended. There's a lot of bad stuff inside that wants to come out when I start talking about anxiety. But I really wanted just to say yes, I've had very convincing physical symptoms associated with my anxiety.

 

[janemariesayed]

Hey all,

Let me start by saying that I’ve suffered since I was a teenager with anxiety. I was medicated for a couple years around 19, but then I was able to cope without medication until recent circumstances.

In Sept 2017 I quit my career which felt like it was spiralling to travel Europe and then to work overseas with an Irish visa. I was very excited for the first time in years to persue something new. After my travels around Europe I spent the next 6 weeks working out my immigration papers in Ireland. When I finally received my residency permit I got a phone call at the end of February that my dad wasn’t feeling too good and there was some concern that he wasn’t going to make it, so I decided to come home to Canada. This was shocking because he was fine when I left. Im going to skip ahead here.. he was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma cancer. He was released from the hospital feeling better and we had hope from his oncologist that he’d beat it after our initial meeting.

We had mixed doctors opinions though and I didn’t feel confident that his outcome was good after seeing his physical state. I helped with home care for about 2 1/2 months, but sadly he spent the last few weeks in hospital in quite a bit of pain and not be able to communicate the last days as the cancer spread to the brain along with an infection.

Fast forward mid a June I started to develop oral thrush shortly after booking my flight back to Ireland. My doctor says it’s stress related, but thanks to online research I have it my head that there is an underlining disease. The only strange comfort and odd coincidence is that my sister has it as well. I’ve been taking an oral antibiotic and 5 days in im feeling quite sick with stomach issues and nausea. Now I have become absolutely narcotic in thinking there is something worse going on that it’s more then side effects to meds and stress. I cancelled my flight due to feeling both sick and now I’m getting additional blood work done other than my CBC and auto differentials. Through those tests it was discovered I had hypothyroidism and follow up resulted that the meds weren’t working.

I felt like I was dealing with the loss of my father quite well, but now my super paranoia about health has kinda ****** me up. Has anyone had anxiety that has caused such physical symptoms?

Hiya Crazyfewweeks and welcome to our community. I'm sorry about the loss of your Father. My condolences to you and your family. I know this is a very hard time at the moment and I'm not surprised that you are suffering from anxieties. Take things one day at a time and know that we are always here for you.