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newbie, hypocondriac, now it's colon cancer!!!

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#1
hi guys,
i'm a first timer, italian, 38 years old, apparently healthy. This year I pratically diagnosed on myself all kind of cancers and issues. From multiple sclerosis to an anal cancer when I had a lump in my anus that turned out to be a thrombosed hemmoroids that now disappeared.
Now, in the last month, my concern has been my colon. I started having bloating after a south american trip, bloating than now has gone, but my stools still look awkward, in the morning i go to the bathroom and i do little broken pieces, that infamously is considered a symptom of colon occlusion (even if i read on a book that actually is more of a misundersting and it does not represent a clear symptoms of colon cancer), then in the afternoon the stool is more of a normal shape and type.
Still i feel like the quantity of my daily stool has decreased.
yesterday morning, checking my stool, in one of the little pieces i had, i saw something like a blood string, jelly, red. I tried to pick it up in my fingers, It went away with the water when i washed my hands.
I panicked so much, i nearly fell on the floor. I still don't know if it was blood (my mind tells me it was) or tomato, since yesterday in my lunch i ate pasta with tomato and i am also taking charcoal, whose side effect is to leave pieces of food in the stool.

Obviously, the red spot disappeared when i went to the bathroom in the afternoon, so i guess it was tomato.

after this morning i woke up and went to the bathroom perfectly (great stool lol), i was feeling fine and tried no to get anxious. But it looks like i'm not so lucky. In the morning i had a shake that i always have for the gym (2 eggs, protein powder, peanuts butter) and then after i ate pasta for lunch i had to go to the bathroom and i had a mild diarrea episode.
My mom laughs at me saying anybody would have these kind of episodes having the shake i have in the morning...And frankly is the first time i have this powder and i put it in my shake. So a logic person would think that was the reason

BUT since i'm not in a logic moment of my life, the worst thoughts fullfilled my mind again, and i'm thinking again that this wouldn't happen to an healthy person, that i must have colon cancer, that i should have a total check right now, that i can't wait one week for the gastro appointment, and then at the same time i'm scared he will tell me to do a colonscopy, because if he says so then he 's thinking that i have something serious....then i think that if he won't examinate me much i will keep with my anxiety...



I just don't know guys, i feel horrible. My anxiety is ruining my life, my wife has a lot of pacience but i feel like soon it will end, i cannot do anything i think 24-7 about me and my possible illness, now i'm pretty sure i have colon cancer, it's something i can't take off my mind.
 

triceps

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#2
Hi and welcome vinbaker. My sister lives in Italy, close to where those earthquakes were a few years ago. You say tomato I say tomato. That probably is what was in that terrifying stool. My only difficult suggestion is to try to not look at your stools for a few days and see if your anxiety can lessen a bit. Health anxiety just doesn't seem to get tired of throwing different diseases for us to get worked up over. Again, welcome and I'm pretty sure, in fact, I'm sure you don't have colon cancer.
 
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#3
Hi and welcome vinbaker. My sister lives in Italy, close to where those earthquakes were a few years ago. You say tomato I say tomato. That probably is what was in that terrifying stool. My only difficult suggestion is to try to not look at your stools for a few days and see if your anxiety can lessen a bit. Health anxiety just doesn't seem to get tired of throwing different diseases for us to get worked up over. Again, welcome and I'm pretty sure, in fact, I'm sure you don't have colon cancer.
Thank you so much for your support. Well, i am pretty sure it was tomato now because i didn't see anytning like that after...

i'm just mad at myself that finally i woke up goinge well at the bathroom and i had that accident in the afternoon and my anxiety came back
 

triceps

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#4
Do you think it would be better or worse for you if you wouldn't look at your stools for 3 days?
 

Megs

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#6
I have been having these same symptoms after someone I know was diagnosed with anal cancer. I have been obsessed with my stools and even the sensations I feel keeping my muscles so tight I made them sore in my rear and then that made things worse bc I had pain. I have quit looking and things are becoming more normal finally!!! Until I have a bad day “thinking” again and they allllllll come back!!!!
 

RobbyH

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#7
First off, I seriously doubt you have colon cancer. The "red' you saw in your stool was most likely the tomato - I have seen red spots in mine after eating salsa so it is not uncommon. Plus blood from colon cancer is usually tarry black and will be more than one little strand. I woudl be a hypocrite if i said "jsut let it go and don't worry about it" - i mean would any of us be here if we could do that?

When you start seeing what looks like blood a lot of time or you have a long case of constipation (over 2 weeks) or diarrhea for over 2 weeks non stop, then worry - until then i think you are fine

Good luck
 

triceps

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#8
Hi vinbaker. Why don't you try a 3 day no look trial. It worked for Megs as shown in the above post. If it turns out that it is really helpful, you can promote and take credit for "No Look Therapy" (NLT). If it doesn't work out, that's very helpful information for many health anxiety folks here.
 
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#9
Guys i already love you !

love this forum, i needed it

Hi vinbaker. Why don't you try a 3 day no look trial. It worked for Megs as shown in the above post. If it turns out that it is really helpful, you can promote and take credit for "No Look Therapy" (NLT). If it doesn't work out, that's very helpful information for many health anxiety folks here.
I will try, but as RobbyH says, "would any of us be here if we could do that? " . but i will really try
 
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#10
@vinbaker ive been having very similar compulsions to check stool as well as broken up stools so I feel you 100%. The thing is this is the first time I’ve ever paid attention so I really don’t know what a change in bowel habits for me is and if these broken stools have always been my norm. If it comforts you I still worry but as the days go on I’ve not let it take as control of my life!

@RobbyH Just curious- does diarrhea or constipation for 2 weeks typically mean strictly one of those with no normal stools in between? I tend to fluctuate between the two and normal movements so I was curious because my weird pattern has been going on for months but thankfully hasn’t gotten worse only better
 

RobbyH

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#11
It sounds like you have IBS-A which is IBS that alternates between constipation and diarrhea. It is very common to have normal BMs as well. From everything I have read, if it were to be colon cancer, once the D or C starts, you don’t go back to normal because it is typically a blockage causing one or the other. So having a normal BM from time to time is a good indication that it is NOT colon cancer
 
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#13
well guys, i tried to be calm and in the last days things got better...getting calmer i went to the bathroom "better".

As you all know anxiety is a circle...some days it can let you breath but then it comes back. Today i decided to weigh myself on the digital scale we have in my house. And it says i lost 1 kg in one week...as you can imagine i started again to think i have cancer so i'm losing weight.

Truth is, i weighed myself in the gym scale last week (not digital, the "old fashion" scale with weights to balance) and i was 71, 3 kg, then i tried in the digital and i was 72, and now the digital says i'm 71.

I just write to let u know how i am doing, hope u re doing fine
 
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#14
@vinbaker do you weigh yourself at the same time everyday? I fluctuate between 2-3 pounds every day due to water retention and how much waste is in my body. I read online that a fluctuation of 5lbs is even normal! So 1kg is a little less than 3 pounds so this is within the normal fluctuation daily let alone weekly!

When I was having all the “symptoms” of colon cancer I obsessively weighed myself because in my mind at the time I was only safe because of no weight loss so of course I was focusing on the negative whenever I weighed myself. I think that you’re just having a normal fluctuation in your weight :)
 

RobbyH

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#15
1kg can be the scales, time of day, etc. that changes. I seldom weigh the same any day. Until you see a 5-10% weight loss, I wouldn’t be concerned.
 
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#16
@vinbaker do you weigh yourself at the same time everyday? I fluctuate between 2-3 pounds every day due to water retention and how much waste is in my body. I read online that a fluctuation of 5lbs is even normal! So 1kg is a little less than 3 pounds so this is within the normal fluctuation daily let alone weekly!

When I was having all the “symptoms” of colon cancer I obsessively weighed myself because in my mind at the time I was only safe because of no weight loss so of course I was focusing on the negative whenever I weighed myself. I think that you’re just having a normal fluctuation in your weight :)
thanks guys. so how long did your "colon cancer crisis" last?
 

RobbyH

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#17
thanks guys. so how long did your "colon cancer crisis" last?
Off and on since 1995 :(. I have IBS so anytime it flares up for longer than a week or two, the scare comes back. Fortunately it has been a year or so since I have had any issues.
 
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@vinbaker unfortunately mine has been going on since February but I have good days and bad days. One symptom will resolve and a new one will take its place and then the previous symptom will come back. But now I feel like some of this stuff may be normal and I’m overfixating... it’s hard but I keep fighting!

I have had previous health anxiety scares before as well- particularly a bad lupus and bad melonoma one
 
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#19
@vinbaker unfortunately mine has been going on since February but I have good days and bad days. One symptom will resolve and a new one will take its place and then the previous symptom will come back. But now I feel like some of this stuff may be normal and I’m overfixating... it’s hard but I keep fighting!

I have had previous health anxiety scares before as well- particularly a bad lupus and bad melonoma one

sorry to hear that. My last scares where MS, heart failure...and now this
 
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#20
Hi guys,

my rollercoaster goes on !!!! After two days where i was feeling fine and not thinking about it, today again my fears..

i went to the bathroom twice (as usual , i'm really regular from that point of view), but in both cases the quantity of feces wasn't the same as usual, less than usual.

so again, i'm thinking it must be a bad sign, that i'm underestimating the problem, that i must be already at an advanced stage of cancer, etc etc,,..

can't take it anymore
 
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