New in here, my short story

[Rainbowguy]

Hi all.
I just signed up to the forum, a little about me:
I've had anxiety disorder for a little over 3 months now, it started of as a huge panic attack 2x 4 hours, and then my thoughts kinda snowballed into a disorder.
I got the panic attacks under control, i'm having 1-2 a week now from 2-3 daily.. Phew.. But health anxiety is getting the best of me at the moment.

Does anyone else have the fear of "going crazy" especially psychosis and schitzofrenia is scaring the **** out of me.
So from thinking so much about it and being scared my body started fabricating symptoms. I'm "hearing voices" which is just background noise that i'm REALLY focused on and i get these sudden feelings of derealisation "i'm going crazy", which is making me believe that i'm starting to have a psychosis.
Google basicly made everything worse xD

2 psychologists, my doctor, another doctor, a handful of nurses and everyone around me tells me it's just anxiety, i just can't seem to convince myself that it's just anxiety, it's like i'm wishing for it to be my worst nightmare, does it make sence? I think not..
Goddamn anxiety is illogical and confusing.

Anyways.
Thanks for letting me onboard.
-RBG

 

[triceps]

Hi and welcome Rainbowguy. So sorry you qualified to join this unique and caring forum. You've already stated your solution, albeit a very difficult thing to accept. You've got anxiety and panic disorder and although you realize that it's fabricating the symptoms you're obsessing about, it's still very difficult to just accept the professional and friendly opinions that it's just anxiety doing its' thing. It's very common to think you're going crazy. I've been in that spot many times over the years as the symptoms the anxiety and panic produce feel very real. If you can concentrate on dampening your anxiety level, many of those symptoms will disappear. Again, welcome.

 

[Rainbowguy]

Thanks
Did i mention my solution?
I'm kinda stuck in the "what if they missed something" and so on...
It just feels so real, man anxiety sucks
But the symptomes are only there when i'm anxious :/

By the way, has any of you tried hypnosis?

 

[Jones]

I had a therapist tell me one time, if you think you are going crazy, you definitely are not. People who are crazy don’t know it and don’t care if they are. This little thought has saved me many night’s sleep.

 

[Rainbowguy]

Thanks. I'll try to remember that.
I know for sure that i'm not "going insane" however it feels like it. At the moment i obsess that i might stress myself so much that i could trigger the psychosis
Life i strange, i can't wait to get treatment for this..