Looking for hope

[Peaceofmind]

Hi,

do you guys sometimes feel hopeless, that anxiety is going to be part of your life forever...is it ever going to feel better ... ?

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

I used to feel hopeless much of the time.

But since I've gotten much better over the years emotionally, I now know that if I start feeling sad and/or nervous, that it can and will get better for me.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Yes. I definitely have felt that at times. If I can be honest, I feel like it might be true - I might have to deal with this for the rest of my life. BUT - that doesn't mean it doesn't get better. It does and it has - I have learned a lot through therapy and just survival in general. I hit rock bottom a few years back, and went into an anxiety/depression spiral that almost took my life. I was completely hopeless. But I survived that time, and since then, I've been able to slowly learn more and more and get my life back! If you're in a dark place right now, I promise that it DOES get better. We can learn to live with anxiety struggles, and even live well.

This may not be what you want to hear, and if not, I'm sorry - but for me, it was a matter of changing my expectations. I used to think I would only be ok once the anxiety was gone. That's a pretty hopeless feeling, because there are no guarantees that the anxiety will ever be completely gone. Today, I feel hopeful because I am better at handling. I know the worst feelings (like panic attacks) won't last forever, and that the milder anxiety is manageable. I also use my faith to get me through it. I actually woke up super anxious this morning - stomach upset, head kind of spinning, the shakes, all the good stuff - but I'm working through it and plan to get on with my week. I don't feel hopeless, just... Frustrated, maybe?

I don't know if that's encouraging or not - I hope so. It does get better, and we can live full happy lives, even with anxiety issues. We are not broken. Love and hugs to you...

 

[Wolfie09]

Hello Newbie here..
I do stuff every day to alter my brain, that's how I get through day by day.

First and foremost is exercise, it's possibly more beneficial to the brain then the body.. Studies have found just 5 min of moderate cardio can start the anti-anxiety process..I have read some"experts" to claim that exercise works just as good as some anti-anxiety medications.. Have a strong mental clarity can help cope with the feelings of anxiety, the "runners high" as it's called..

Second thing is herbal remedies such as kava which has become so popular they now have kava bars .. When drinking a fair amount it will give off the feeling of euphoria, well-being, giddiness, talkative.. Some others that can offer relief are lemon balm, valerian, skull kap, chamomile etc.

And the last thing I don't go a day without is Milk Kefir, it's fact that the brain and gut are connected, healthy gut healthy brain..Most people that have GAD also have GI issues, myself included (gerd)..Kefir does wonders for the digestive tract as well as mental stability..My good friend who deals with anxiety swears if you drink the whole bottle (32oz), you will get a euphoric type high that can last for days..I myself drink a couple cups a day, and it has done wonders so far, I'm only on my 3 Rd day...

I wish you luck in your pursuit of happiness..

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

I think that if you start to feel hopeless about your anxiety issues, look at people who used to have excessive anxieties but now don't, because if they can do it with the help of professional psychiatric treatment, then so can you.

 

[Peaceofmind]

My psychologist has been talking about “acceptance” he said the more you accept these negatives feelings and thoughts, the less they will come. What do you guys think about that

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

My psychologist has been talking about “acceptance” he said the more you accept these negatives feelings and thoughts, the less they will come. What do you guys think about that

I absolutely agree with this. We have to allow ourselves to feel bad, and be gentle with ourselves through it. I would even take it a step further - accept it, and educate yourself on it. Educate yourself on anxiety and depression, and what happens in your body during high anxiety - it's very freeing to be able to say, 'I'm not crazy. My body just thinks it's in danger and just released a bunch of crap chemicals into my bloodstream, and that's why I feel this way. ' And then let your body process it naturally. Trying to deny it only makes it worse because it makes it scarier.

I wasn't raised to accept negative feelings - in fact, I saw my mom yesterday and mentioned that my anxiety was high and I felt really weepy, like an urge to cry all day. She said, 'Well, dwelling on it won't help ' LOL As in, 'just ignore it and please don't talk about it.' You can imagine how well that worked out for me when I was younger. It has taken me a long time (and therapy) to learn to just acknowledge those feelings instead, and let them happen. Because they don't kill me - they DO get better. I like to picture an anxiety attack like a big wave. If you fight it, you drown. But if you can just kind of ride it out, it passes.

 

[Peaceofmind]

Really encouraging !! But sometimes i wonder when i talk myself out like i try to reason myself and say that its absurd dwelling about this. Is it considered as denying ? Am i better not reasoning myself and just let it be then ?

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Really encouraging !! But sometimes i wonder when i talk myself out like i try to reason myself and say that its absurd dwelling about this. Is it considered as denying ? Am i better not reasoning myself and just let it be then ?

I do the same thing. We know that the anxiety isn't "reasonable" or "realistic" based on what's going on around us. Today, I woke up scared and shaking. In my own bed, in a safe home, in a safe place...there is nothing bad happening to me right now. But it still happened. I can tell myself it isn't real, but it IS real - the anxiety is real, and it has to be acknowledged and dealt with.

I think the point is HOW you deal with it. If I say, "This is absurd, and I won't dwell on this," I'm already being negative with myself and punishing myself for the feelings. In my experience, this just leads to guilt and shame, and more anxiety. But if I say, "This is anxiety, it's uncomfortable, but it will pass," I'm acknowledging it while also not giving it power over me. Can you hear the difference? You can accept the feelings and the anxiety without accepting it taking over your life.

 

[Peaceofmind]

I totally hear the difference thank you so much. Today i havent been able to sleep yet. Ive been feeling restless, hot & cold, heavy in my chest and my head about to explose. I am trying to tell myself it will pass but its not easy...

 

[Wolfie09]

Yeah it sucks guys..I went to the hospital today, I just had to make sure I didn't have anything wrong with me..I was diagnosed with gastritis and obviously anxiety which is the big culprit..I woke up this morning extremely dizzy, probably because I haven't been drinking enough water..Then I decided to take my temp, bad Idea lol The cheap ass Chinese thermometer was off and kept reading between 93°-94°, over and over again, I freaked the heck out..I get to the hospital and it's exactly 98.6° lol I also noticed right after the iv was put in my breathing was no longer labored, like my body was relaxed and at peace because I was at a hospital..On my way home from the hospital, I'm talking to the cab driver and realized I wasn't paying attention to my breathing, but once I get home it's right back on, almost like I can never be alone..I have the opposite of social anxiety lol I usually feel best when I have people to talk to.. Unfortunately all of my friends and family live in NJ and I live 5 hrs away in upstate NY.. This episode has been an eye opener for me as I think I need to head back down where I can have a support system, up here it's just me and my girl and she's at work all day... Nothing I do takes away my anxiety episode but I do have things that help..I go lay in my room with a cup of herbal tea, blend of chamomile, lemon balm and lavender, usually gets me extremely sleepy and improved respiratory..I also diffuse some lavender oil which has some scientific backing on relaxing anxiety.. Lastly I put some sports on and hope I can get in tune to what's going on.. Their will be better days ahead..

Have a good afternoon..

 

[Peaceofmind]

Sorry to hear that wolfie... how does your anxiety feel, its ALWAYS there? I feel the same way, its like a background anxiety sometimes its more quiet but it never leaves... thats why kinda feel hopeless that one day i will have peace

 

[Wolfie09]

I just listened to my first mindfulness meditation session and I gotta say it relaxed me much than I thought it would, really beautiful, something I'm gonna start doing more often..I continue to look for the best ways to feel "normal" without taken medication..

Yes Peace my anxiety/ADHD always hover over me, if it's not one thing it's another lol

Some days my anxiety feels ok but ADHD acts up, I wanna jump out of my skin as I can't sit still, I do a lot of pacing..Other times I start to get trembles/shakes, sweaty palms/feet, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, chest tightness, loss of appetite, dizziness, etc ..I do have my good stretches though.. Last year when I was employed I had very little anxiety episodes, I'm the type that over thinks way to often, when I have a job to get to it seems that's all my mind worries about.. The more active I am the least anxiety I will have.. Right now it's a bad time for all of us but we're in this together and one day we'll get through this.. I'm using this time to try and learn to control my anxiety through several different methods..

 

[Peaceofmind]

I have tried zoloft, citalopram and effecxor for my anxiety nothing worked..... so i am also looking for ways to calm down my anxiety without medications

 

[Wolfie09]

I felt the best I have in months yesterday afternoon/evening, I didn't wanna go to bed I felt so good lol Now here I am suffering as usual in the AM, it's like my kryptonite..I was having some shortness of breath as well as heart palpitations in the middle of my stomach..I decided to jump into a shower, I first started off with the water warm and gradually lowered the temp until it was cold but not unbearable, wakes you up real quick lol Then after I was finished I slowly dried off and decided to try and lay down for a little.. While I was laying down feeling better I decided to try some mindfulness meditation, just laid back for an hour and took my self to another place..It was an amazing feeling, my stomach started to growl non-stop, I was actually hungry lol I usually have no appetite throughout the day, I force myself to eat.. After I was finished I felt alive, clear, alert, confident, I used this time to do some cleaning, pay bills, enjoy some TV, all stuff I normally have trouble doing during a normal day..Now today I wrote myself a list of things to do including exercise, cold water therapy, mindfulness meditation, I'm hoping to get the same type of reaction to my brain..Well see how the rest of the day goes..

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

@Peaceofmind I am on medication (escitalopram), and it helps me control the anxiety, but it doesn't get rid of it. The best things I have learned are: 1) acceptance. It keeps it from escalating into despair. 2) calming my body down naturally. @Wolfie09 mentioned meditation, which is great. There are also certain yoga poses that target your nervous system and calming the anxiety/panic response. My therapist sometimes just has me lay with my legs up a wall, for example. It's bizarre, but it changes the blood flow and slows my heart rate. 3) eating and sleeping well. 4) therapy.

 

[Peaceofmind]

@Wolfie09 @Hurt&Hopeful thank you for the advice! I was wondering does your anxiety symptoms more physical or you guys feel the head is about to explode also?

 

[Wolfie09]

So I figured out what's going on with me..I have gastritis, inflammation of the stomach lining, this is causing me to not get a full breath due to my diaphragm being compromised..My anxiety is making it worse as always especially when I have GI issues...I kept thinking it was anxiety to blame for my weird feelings in my stomach.. Usually my shortness of breath comes from my chest as well as tightness but this feels more like a diaphragm issue.. Because of this I have become fixated on trying to get a full breath Which in turn is actually hurting my back as well as chest..

Today I did my usual milk kerfi followed by a cold shower and then mindfulness meditation and I felt great mentally but my stomach was still causing me issues..I have to beat this physical ailment first before I tackle my anxiety to the fullest...

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

@Wolfie09 @Hurt&Hopeful thank you for the advice! I was wondering does your anxiety symptoms more physical or you guys feel the head is about to explode also?

Both for me. My body goes nuts, and my thoughts race. Sometimes it just feels LOUD in there and I want to hit my head against a wall to make it stop.(I don't recommend doing that lol).

So I figured out what's going on with me..I have gastritis, inflammation of the stomach lining, this is causing me to not get a full breath due to my diaphragm being compromised..My anxiety is making it worse as always especially when I have GI issues...I kept thinking it was anxiety to blame for my weird feelings in my stomach.. Usually my shortness of breath comes from my chest as well as tightness but this feels more like a diaphragm issue.. Because of this I have become fixated on trying to get a full breath Which in turn is actually hurting my back as well as chest..

Today I did my usual milk kerfi followed by a cold shower and then mindfulness meditation and I felt great mentally but my stomach was still causing me issues..I have to beat this physical ailment first before I tackle my anxiety to the fullest...

That's actually some good news, even though it's bad news! You know what it is, so you can stop worrying about it and treat it. You know, getting your digestive issues sorted out will actually help with the anxiety. Most of your body's seratonin is produced in your gut, not your brain. It's a vicious cycle - anxiety causes GERD and other problems, and GERD causes anxiety. You will hopefully start to see improvement in both now!

 

[Peaceofmind]

@Hurt&Hopeful omg i did hit my head against the wall once !! Sorry for all my questions but when you say LOUD is it just in the brain or it’s actually racing thoughts ? Because ive talked to so many people and i feel nobody understands my feeling... its actually a loud feeling in the brain but no thoughts attached to it ...