I need help! :(

Discussion in 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)' started by _Lukas, Sep 27, 2017.

  1. _Lukas

    _Lukas Active Member

    That's definitely understandable, it sounds like you had a great time doing it though! :)
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  3. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    Oh yes I did, it was great fun and an interesting experience. Although I only did a little bit I learned a lot and had the experience of being on a film set first hand while they were filming and being part of it. I met a few interesting people too. I didn't have to do much or learn any lines as I was only an extra but I really did enjoy it. It is something anyone can do as well, whether you are fat, thin, tall, short, young or old, they want anyone so it is also a great confidence booster too.
    _Lukas likes this.
  4. _Lukas

    _Lukas Active Member

    Just when I thought things were getting better between me and my fiance, we got in another fight tonight :(
    He was like "You've been talking my ear off for five and a half hours! Just shut up!!!" and slammed the door in my face.
    I've been banished to the kitchen with my dogs, so I'm working on writing my book. I would much rather be in bed though but I don't think he's going to let me back into the bedroom for another few hours. He said he needed some alone time because I was driving him nuts.
    I'm starting to have doubts that this marriage will last. He's so up his own ass.
    I can hear his phone vibrating too so I know he's texting someone and I'm scared that he's cheating. I know that's probably an illogical conclusion to come to but sometimes I worry.
    I'm considering doing something to really annoy him on purpose, like playing the drums really loud or something, because I'm immature and I always want to retaliate when someone is mad at me.
    I have to be at work early in the morning and I'm going to be really mad at him if he keeps me locked out of the bedroom all night. I might just sleep on the couch.
    I feel like he's overreacting. I can't possibly have really been talking nonstop for over five hours. He's such a drama queen!

    I'm honestly having second thoughts about this wedding... I don't know why we've been fighting so much but maybe we're just not meant to be.
    Now I'm crying. I love him so very much but this is tearing me apart.
  5. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    This is just so classic of stress related irritability. Don't worry Lukas, and don't cry. He loves you very much and you know that already. Always remember that if someone loves you, that they would never do anything purposely to hurt you. So forgive him, and yourself for this stressful time.

    Your marriage will last. But only if you both work at it together. Love is a garden of roses. Yes, it is a garden of roses.

    Roses are beautiful flowers, but they have thorns. So love is like a garden of roses I say. Take the rough with the smooth. Give it time and you will see it is worth it.

    So tonight, sleep on the couch with your dogs and go about your day tomorrow as normal. Don't think about him cheating, it could have been anyone he was texting. And don't worry if you talk too much, and so does he at times. He is just stressed from the wedding plans. It's nice really because he obviously wants it all to go off okay.

    If you are really concerned that he may be cheating, then look at his texts to see for yourself. Or follow him, or get a friend to follow him. But remember you may not like what you find out. Or he may be doing nothing wrong which will, in turn, make you feel bad for distrusting him.

    Don't go making a noise to retaliate, it will only make things worse. Be mature and he will feel bad about the way he has treated you.
  6. _Lukas

    _Lukas Active Member

    Thank you so much for your kind and wise words. I really do appreciate all the advice you give me :)
    I really like your rose analogy, that made me feel a lot better!

    I did sleep on the couch with the dogs and I was upset all day at work, but I didn't let it interfere with doing my job. When I got home he had made me dinner (a chicken cutlet literally cut into a heart shape!) and gotten me flowers and a bottle of wine with a card that said "I'm so sorry, I love you so much." I was so happy, I cried! He told me he's so sorry for being such a jerk lately (his words, not mine) and he's sorry he snapped on me, and he said he thinks the stress of the wedding coming up soon and some things that have been going on at his job are getting to him. I didn't realize work was stressing him out so much, it's something I'm going to try to be much more attentive to with him.
    I asked him who he was texting and he had no problem with showing me all his text messages, and the person he had been texting with was his manager at work about a work-related issue. He said he's sad that I would ever think he would cheat on me but he said he's glad I asked instead of continuing to worry. He said I'm the only person he will ever love and he's so sure of it that he wants to be with me forever and that's why he's marrying me.
    He also said he thinks we're not spending enough time together because of our jobs and school, and he thinks that's part of why we're butting heads, as we're not seeing each other as much and that's stressing both of us out. We decided that we're going to make a point of doing something together every night after we get home from work, and maybe spend some quiet time together too.
    I love him so, so much. I don't know what I would do without him. He is my everything!
  7. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    Oh, bless him! That was so lovely and romantic to make you that dinner and in such a lovely way. You see? That just goes to show that despite any kind of barney, that you do love each other.

    I love that you love each other, it makes me smile and feel good.

    Something that can be forgotten in relationships is the dating that used to take place beforehand. I'm pleased that you are going to make time for each other. My ex-hubs and I used to plan a date once a week. We'd get ourselves dolled up and meet each other out somewhere at a certain time. Then we would go for a meal or the movies. It gave us something to talk about and gave us a break from the mundane day to day life.

    When is the BIG day then? Are you married yet? If it is today, or this weekend, I'm sending you and your dearly beloved all the best luck that the world has to give.:happy:
  8. _Lukas

    _Lukas Active Member

    He's so sweet and romantic, I love him so much :happy:
    We haven't had any fights since then! :happy:

    I love that we love each other too :) I'm glad it makes you smile, I love making people smile! :)

    We've planned a date night every night when we get home from work or school! Weekends are a lot of fun because we have Saturday and Sunday off from work so we can sleep late and spend the whole weekend together :happy: Tonight we're watching a very scary horror movie! On Tuesday we'll have our Halloween party with our friends :)

    We're getting married in about three weeks!! :D And thank you, that is so kind :)
    janemariesayed likes this.
  9. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    It seems like the stress you were both feeling has subsided which is marvellous. Getting married is a very stressful time for all couples and they can argue over the most silliest of things. You and your fiance obviously have a very strong bond together and it looks to me as if your marriage will last.

    How about your friend who you spoke about before? Has she said any more to try to put you off or is she being more acceptable now?
    _Lukas likes this.
  10. _Lukas

    _Lukas Active Member

    I think talking about what was going on with my fiance at work has helped to put us at ease. He was keeping it bottled up instead of telling me about it and that was getting between us. I'm glad he told me! Things have gotten a bit better for him at work after he had a talk with his boss. I'm just worried that the coworker who was harassing him is going to find out that he told the boss and she's going to retaliate and label him as the workplace snitch.

    Thank you, that is very kind :) We do have a very strong bond and I hope we're together for the rest of our lives.

    Tonight we had a small argument, but we laughed about it afterwards because it was actually very funny- we're hosting a Halloween party tomorrow (it's kind of going to serve as both of our bachelor parties) with all our friends, and my fiance was looking for our Halloween tablecloth, which is kind of a lime green color. Dave (my fiance) asked me where it was, and I said "You threw it out, you said the color was 'putrid' and you got rid of it." He didn't remember throwing it out so we argued a little, and we ended up finding the lime green one in a storage closet, I had remembered incorrectly and the one he threw out was more of a yellow-green color. Definitely putrid. Lol.
    I'll keep you updated about how the Halloween party goes! :D

    My friend has apologized for calling Dave a narcissist and she's been nicer to him. She's going to be at the party tomorrow so we'll see how that goes, hopefully they can be civil to each other.
    Funny story, when I first told my friends about my fiance, they thought he was much older than me because they thought "Dave" sounded like an older person's name! He's actually younger than me! :D

    Anyway, that's enough of my silly stories for tonight, I hope you're having a wonderful day and of course happy Halloween! :)
  11. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    Happy Halloween to you Lukas, and your fiance. Good luck with your party - Have great fun! :vamp: :vulcan: :stig: :spiderman: :droid: :astronaut: :zombie: :cyclops: :blackalien: :greyalien: :android:
    _Lukas likes this.
  12. _Lukas

    _Lukas Active Member

    Thank you, my friend! :)
    The party was a huge success! We had so much fun! We even went trick-or-treating lol and my friends had me go ring the doorbells because I look like I'm 14 :p Dave pretended to be my "adult chaperone" :D He's a year younger than me and about twice the size of me lol. He was a boy band pop star for Halloween, lol of course :D I was wearing a Steampunk costume, I had aviator goggles and a striped suit and lace-up boots. One of my friends was wearing cat ears and bat wings and said he was a "kittybat" :D Lol bless him, he's so adorable. He's actually my hairdresser :D
    My friend that I was telling you about in the therapy thread, the one who has Asperger's and is studying to be a rocket scientist, had the best costume- he was a zombie politician! Lol! :D

    We played some party games that got a bit out of hand because they always do with my group of friends :p

    I'm a little upset because the friend that said those things about Dave, cancelled on us last minute and went out drinking with her girl friends instead. Our friendship is kind of on the rocks now. She claimed that she didn't come because she didn't want to be the only girl at the party but I don't think that's the honest truth. I think she doesn't like Dave and she's upset that we're getting married. I'm starting to think she doesn't want to come to our wedding. I think she's also upset because she said she wanted to be my maid of honor and I told her we weren't having bridesmaids because neither of us is a bride, and I think she's upset that my hairdresser friend is my best man instead of her being maid of honor. I don't know what to do about her. She's my childhood best friend and I don't want to lose her, but on the other hand she's being really $hitty.

    I hope you had a wonderful Halloween too! :)

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