- Feb 29, 2020
- Reaction score
i always feel like i'm never good enough even though i'm a better worker. sometimes we are harder on ourselves in this condition than others are.
Naw it ain't you it's just my impulsive nature. It like roller coaster depending how I feel. None of it came from you it's just I can never believe nor trust myself. Even tho things are good. I close my eyes at night and it's still badSorry if I upset you. You don't have to go. I will. I'm not getting anything out of this site anyway.
I wasn't responding to your comment negatively or anything of the sort. You have to believe me on that. I usually write down what I feel and I don't want you to think I am angry at you. I am always jaded for me and my past actions and what I am going to do. I'm really sorry if I have upset you. I am hard on myself becuase I want to succeed and such. You do your work well and your better for it.i always feel like i'm never good enough even though i'm a better worker. sometimes we are harder on ourselves in this condition than others are.
I really appreciate you words. I just to thicked headed and stupid to not need them. That's my problem, I never listen nor learn and I right back where I started. But you seem more open and talkative then be ffg ore andvthats good. Mind you I an a ok waking very respectfully and I want you to know I appreciate your help.I don't know how old you are but, I'm in my 50's I've had to struggle through enough crap & I am here to tell you that no matter what you think of yourself or what someone else thinks of you, you are good enough. You are worthy. You are amazing in your own way. You just have to find that way. But try to keep this in mind...it's one thing to have a fighting spirit to get yourself going but, don't struggle too hard with others and their BS. Just because they push doesn't mean you have to push back. Do what you have to do to take care of you and don't worry about the others. At the end of the day it boils down to you and your survival. Physically and mentally.
This evening I am in a very bad place emotionally. I have never felt so alone and so unloved in my entire life as I do right now tonight. That's not gonna change tomorrow, next month or possibly ever. Our only responsibility to ourselves is to get up each day, go to school, go to work, & take care of ourselves and our surroundings. If you're getting that good of grades in school then just try to stay focused on that. Work to the goal you want instead of worrying about whether you're gonna make it or not. I drag myself out of bed and into life every day whether I feel like it or not. Today was not a feel like it day. But I muddled through.
I can't afford therapy so, I write. I write to express my rage, my sorrow, my loneliness. I don't know you or much about your life. But try not being so critical of yourself. It's tough to do when you've had people criticize you for everything your whole life. But you can't keep entertaining these thoughts. Journal them out and try to stay focused on getting through each part of your day. And look for the things that go right. I've been through a lot and had to deal with it on my own with nothing but some pills here and there. No therapy. Nobody to really talk to and who wants to listen to us anyway? That's why I am strong. No shoulder to cry on. Nobody to lean on when I really could've used it. I had to be my own shoulder and my own strength.
It's been a long and lonely road but, I'm still going. Some days require a little more self TLC than others. But they can be managed. I'll check back with you soon. Have a great Tuesday. I'll be cooking over a hot stove all day with a mask with a smile on it and a hairnet. Maybe picturing that might bring you a chuckle. LOL!
Quit focusing on the person who is higher up in success. Half the time those types aren't worth a crap. They are not what's important here. YOU! You are what matters. What everyone around you is doing is not important. Just take care of Guru and don't worry about what the OTHER is doing or achieving. Who cares? They're not you. They aren't living your life. They got their own problems. Just because their better or higher up or farther along doesn't mean they're living the life of Riley. They may have miserable lives. Why do you care what is going on with them for 8 hrs? Take it easy on yourself.
Do not blame yourself when people let you down, work on good relationships with as many as you can. You have the power to change everything. People have said to me what you are calling yourself. It doesnt bother me because i believe in myself. That is what you need to do, believe in yourself and your potentiality.I can't complain much about my life, I got a good family, I basically can do what ever I want, and live in a good house. But as time progressed in school my anxiety started flare up and as I got older It become more toxic. Everytime somthing wrong happpend I became a 10 year olds tantrum for failing somthing so simple and I get angery and can't do anything right. Ever since collage started and all the real life things such as loans and relationships. Ait feels like all this is making me worse to fast
I have NEVER done somthing violent that would really destroy me. Now I can't talk to some one write, do homework on time, Express my emotions with out getting angry over them, and worse of all I'm starting to let people down. I am break ko ing things more and more by my clumsiness, my brother and sister hates me, I'm not doing well in university, and I made my parents mad at me again.
I'm nothing but a ******* loser who is selfish, lazy, over indulging weak little **** you is nothing but a blight upon everyone. An annoying little nat who serves no purpose for any one. No matter how hard I try weather it be sports, jobs, even talking to the opposite sex( hell even my own). I have no idea how I survived thus long with out ending it or exploding. I truly and fail 5 times over. Only thing I can do is play video games and lie about my life. I tried to get help and talk about it but I am an annoying little prick who serves no benefit to know one. I just want to not existence to feel this pain any more. I WANT TO JUST GIVE UP