depression about not meeting goals

Discussion in 'Depression' started by kgord, Sep 29, 2016.

  1. Aree Wongwanlee

    Aree Wongwanlee Junior Member

    I see. Well, it's your life and it's your choice. I have had that experience before. What I wanted to do was not what my mother wanted me to do. One of the most traumatic things which happened was when I moved out of my parents' house. My mother couldn't understand why I had to go. I had to live on my own to find my own way in life. It made my mother very sad for many years.
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  3. John Snort

    John Snort Junior Member

    I used to most of the time feel depressed when I was unable to achieve my goals.

    While there might be a way to get around that by setting achievable goals there are times when you have no option but to aim for something specific. In such instances when failure is not an option, one should not aim to get what they want done within a certain period because there are no guarantees that you can get what you want fast. Look at any failure as a temporary set back and keep pressing forward.
    kgord likes this.
  4. fuzyon

    fuzyon Member

    I definitely get depressed when I'm not meeting my goals, it means that I failed at something and of course that upsets me. I have the choice of actually doing something about it and repairing my failure or sulk in my own tears for not being able to do it. Depression can only be beaten if you work against it and actually try to improve yourself, stagnating in your life will only worsen your situation and I'm sure you do not want that. Just start getting it done right now, little by little your house will be clean.
  5. Fae

    Fae Junior Member

    Trying for big goals and missing, or having them going on for a long time, is a downer for me. What I sometimes do to "get around it" is to do smaller goals related to a larger one. Currently I'm doing a 12'-15' Doctor Who scarf, and while I can see bits of progress over time, it is a very daunting thing. When I get too bogged down by it, I'll go and work on another project. It still keeps my skills up for the big project, but let's me feel like I'm getting things done instead of never being done with it.

    In the case of selling a house, perhaps it'd help to do small fix-up projects around the house while waiting for the other people to figure themselves out. Or maybe you can search for the items you want in your next property so you're prepared for when the current one is ready to sell. You may have other ideas, but it's good to have very small things you can stay on top of when the bigger things are gone awry.
  6. kgord

    kgord Junior Member

    I think we do have to sit specific measurable goals so we can progress, but I think we have to set them small enough so we can see progress. For instance, I took a box of things to the thrift store today that were sitting around cluttering up the place, that might not seem like a huge accomplishment, but it was a step in the right direction. We just have to keep taking those steps, that move us in the right direction. Even if at times we backslide or don't accomplish what we want to, we need to keep taking them.
  7. This is probably one of the things that I'm most afraid about... I am afraid to not be able to make that change while I'm living here and I have to move out in order to make it... Because that would mean sort of breaking my relationship with him, you know? Things would hardly be the same if I leave on bad terms. I really need to sit down with him and clearly say all that I need to do, because you're completely right, it's my happiness, and it's something that I need to do in order to be okay, and if he really loves me, he should understand that, I guess.
  8. calicer1996

    calicer1996 New Member

    No one is perfect. And no goal is un achievable. We ought to learn from our failures, forget the depression. Learn from mistakes. Failure is the teacher. Get back up, slowly. And keep trying as long as there is hope. Where there is a will, there has to be a way!
  9. Aree Wongwanlee

    Aree Wongwanlee Junior Member

    I am very sure he would. After all, I am sure he loves you as much as you love him. Just reassure him that you are not abandoning or deserting. That's what my mother thought when I moved out. She felt that she had failed because I didn't want to live in the same house with her.
  10. Yes, I'll try my best to explain the best I can in order to not make him think that. And if I can ask... how it's your relationship with her now? What did you do to make her see your point? 
  11. kgord

    kgord Junior Member

    Well, I wasn't able to find a weight loss buddy, but I joined a weight loss support group, and I lost 5 pounds this week, so that is really good! In terms of the house, I did get some clearing on the porch and got a lot of leaves off of it. So it is shaping up. The laundry room isn't perfect, but I will work more on it. There are two things, I have way too much of, clothes and books, and I have to get rid of more of both. I have many things I don't even wear that take up space. I don't agree with the whole if you haven't worn it a year, throw it out, because I have worn things after a yera. I think the 5 year rule might be better. In case of jeans though, I will keep some that don't fit, because it will feel great if I get into them again!
  12. Frederik Jusef

    Frederik Jusef New Member

    This post is very useful for me. Lots of thanks for sharing this informative post.:) Your goals can help you take things to the next level, in any area of life.

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