depression about not meeting goals

[kgord]

Have you ever been depressed about not meeting your goals? I was determined to put my house on the market this Fall, even though I have been working on it, I just can't seem to get it ready. I have no one to help me, and people that could help, won't, Also, I can't afford to hire any help. I also want to start looking at properties I could afford after the home sale, and the realtors won't get back with me..I just called two places yesterday in regard to listing and also viewing properties and neither called back. I mean it is like they don't want to sell anything!  This whole process is taking much longer than I thought it would, I can't afford to sell it for nothing..and it needs to be in top shape to get top bucks.

 

[HappyKoi]

It's hard to get things done when you need help and no one will talk with you.  I can understand being depressed and frustrated and afraid that nothing will get done.  One of my friends has been trying to find a new location for her shop for months now, has called a lot of realtors, and hasn't had any success.  She's been pretty depressed about it too, so you're not alone in the slightest.  I feel that way when I'm looking for a job and no one calls me back.  I start wondering what is wrong with me personally and my depression spirals out of control.  My advice would be to keep trying and talk with your friends, family, therapist, clergy, or anyone in your support system to help keep you going.  I hope things work out for you.

 

[Alex]

It can be frustrating, but while some things should theoretically work out, I have found in life that just isn't so. That's what the books and movies tell us, but in real life it can happen, but there are no guarantees. When I wanted to rent my place out, agents couldn't find people and it was so frustrating as I had it done up. Eventually I had to settle for some tenants who were a nightmare.


As for goals in life, we can plan, but they don't always work out even when there is no reason for them not to. I have learned not to get too disappointed and to accept things, and to work around them instead.

 

[joshposh]

I think everyone here has fallen short on goals and felt in adequate one time or another.  It happens to the best of us.  It's part of life.  Dwelling on it will not make it better.  You are defined by how you beat adversity not the goals that you fall short of.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

There's a very simple way to have goals which you can achieve. First, you must have a long-term goal. Then set up medium-term goals to reach that long-term goal. Break those medium-term goals into short-term goals. These short-term goals should be really easy to achieve. So you would not be depressing yourself by setting goals which are hard to achieve.


Just as an example, I am studying programming. This is a long-term goal. To reach that, I set up medium-term goals. I break down what I need to study into smaller parts. There are so many components of programming, so many languages. So I make each component a medium-term goal. Like, I set a goal of studying HTML, CSS and Javascript. I have already finished HTML and CSS. The basics, anyway. Now I am on Javascript. It's quite a big subject. So I set up short-term goals. This is in the form of lessons which I do every day. Each lesson is short. I can do one lesson easily in less than fifteen minutes. So each day, I achieve a short-term goal and get closer to my long-term goal. No frustration. No depression. Just a simple matter of cutting up the big elephant into small bite-sized bits.

 

[kgord]

Yes, you all have good advice here. The problem is I don't really have anyone to talk to. Goal setting, yes, I need to break that down and accomplish one task at a time. I have never been much of a list maker but it can help  to stay organized and on task. Also, it will help to see that I am indeed making progress. Recently, I found the card for my digital camera which was helpful to post things I can sell, so I can declutter and make money, the whole thing is a long story, but I need to keep plugging along rather than getting depressed.

 

[WorkAtHomeGal]

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. When I don't get depressed over meeting a goal I just extend it or decide to not do it... If it is something important like for therapy for instance we set small goals... I get kind of upset when I don't meet mine. She told me not to worry that these goals we make in therapy can be taken lightly, If I don't do it one week I can do it another week.

 

[Choochoo]

For me it's kind of become a bit of a vicious cycle wherein I feel depressed because I don't meet goals, and because I'm depressed I find it even more difficult to meet other goals. I do try and keep conscious of this behavior though so thankfully I haven't gotten too deep yet, but I am fairly moody so some days I will feel the depression a lot more than on other days, which also adds a bit to the difficulty of trying to keep my spirits up. 

 

[explorerX7]

It can be frustrating, even heartbreaking sometimes when there are some goals to be met that would alleviate some crucial problems and you try to reach these goals I am just not able to achieve them. A major problem is that sometimes circumstances beyond my control may contribute to the failure of achieving the goals. These circumstances may be the cause for me becoming depressed and moody because the inability to achieve those crucial goals would have prolonged a situation which I am anxious to get out of.

 

[Panic57]

I get really depressed when I can't meet goals, especially really important ones.  I feel incompetent and worthless.  But then I have to face my failure by taking it apart.  Why did I fail?  Did I spend to much time sleeping or wasting time?  Did I prepare to long and not enough time doing what needs to be done?  Did I procrastinate until the last moment?  Did I give up last minute?  Did I have unrealistic goals with not enough time or help?  Be as sincerely honest as possible with yourself.  Then begin again knowing what you have to work on this round.  While failure is annoying, it's part of process of defining you.  If you let the failure become a habit you'll have a hard life but if you learn from it, you'll grow.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

You do not have to fail. Failure simply means that you did not meet a goal. Just set your goals lower. Make your goals easy to achieve. Each small goal you achieve is another small step closer to your big goal. It works with everything.

 

[sidney]

I think that it's just natural and human nature for us to be depressed when we can't meet our goals. Especially when we have invested so much time and effort on it. But we should not let depression and negativity bring us down. Instead, it should make us strive even harder to achieve our goals.

 

[Surrender]

Goals are important and good to have, but at some point in your life I think you realize that there is more to your life than just your own effort. You realize that you can work hard and be driven, but your final success can rest on other people showing up or cooperating with you, or external circumstances supporting your efforts.  Those are things you can't control no matter how hard you work. 


For myself that's when I started to realize we are all a part of a bigger plan, we are all linked and joined and everything we do can affect each other.  So all we can do is keep trying, do the best we can, not give up hope, but also realize there maybe a plan or chain of events already laid out, that may or may not agree with what we want in that moment.  When you look back on your life you can see how and why events unfolded, and it seems to make sense, but when we are in the moment it can seem like nothing makes sense.


One thing I do find can help in the moment is to pray. When I am worried I try to remember to pray, asking that God's will unfold in my life, but also to protect and shelter me from harm. 

 

[kgord]

I think I may need to set my goals smaller and congratulate myself for the goals I am able to achieve rather than concentrating on the ones I don't is probably a start. For instance, I recently signed up for weight watchers agains which is a goal I  have had for awhile. My next goal is to get a weight loss buddy, which I am sure I can get one shortly. In terms of the house sale, I can finish cleaning the laundry room today, and take steps to keep it that way.

 

[djanx]

Yes. That's the only reason I have all the other anxieties. And what's funny is that I am comparatively better at achieving things then most people. You see some goals just don't fructify because of random things that are not in your hands. Now, however, I have found a way that works most of the times. I focus on something else. I mean I have a big goal that I haven't been able to achieve for a long time, and it's really a sort of a moonshot. I literally fail to achieve it every year, but I am determined to stay the track. Earlier, I used to get depressed and the recovery period used to be long. However, now, I recover quickly and focus on daily/weekly goals, instead of the moonshot. This keeps me going.

 

[kelden]

Don't have any kind of experience selling or purchasing real state, perhaps you should sing up to a niche real state forum and make a thorough research to follow some suggestions. Try to look for another kind of solutions, never narrow your options, this is a free country after all.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I think that most of my negative feelings come with the fact of not accomplishing goals that I have. I want them so much, but at the same time I'm terrified of even trying them because I can actuallylose a lot of people if I accomplish them, and that's a really scary thing to think about, but at the same time I am conscious that I need to accomplish them, there's no other way. I guess that I'm afraid of being hesitating about them for a really long time. 

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

I think that most of my negative feelings come with the fact of not accomplishing goals that I have. I want them so much, but at the same time I'm terrified of even trying them because I can actuallylose a lot of people if I accomplish them, and that's a really scary thing to think about, but at the same time I am conscious that I need to accomplish them, there's no other way. I guess that I'm afraid of being hesitating about them for a really long time. 





 

I don't quite follow your reasoning. Why would you actually lose a lot of people if you accomplish your goals? Are you with people who would become insanely jealous if you do better than them? If so, then go ahead and reach for your goals. Never mind about such people. They are not worth bothering about.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I don't quite follow your reasoning. Why would you actually lose a lot of people if you accomplish your goals? Are you with people who would become insanely jealous if you do better than them? If so, then go ahead and reach for your goals. Never mind about such people. They are not worth bothering about.

Not really... It's more focused on the need to make changes on my life and those changes are so drastical that a lot of people (especially nuclear and not that close family) are not going to take it on the best way... I'm having problems with my dad more than anything. 

 

[DylanRowan]

Happens most of the time. I feel two things that lead to each other. First, I need to do certain goal, but I don't do it or even try to do it. I get sad and mad about it. Second, I start saying to myself that I could have done it. Now, the complicated part is that I am not even sure about that. Am I saying this just to feel better that I could have done it? Or is it a fact? I start to feel lost of what am capable of doing.