Why do I want certain people to feel mentally hurt etc

[E.B]

First I am very much aware and also I very much admit my faults so I realize this isn't a good thing but I would like to know why...sometimes I catch myself wanting certain people to hurt or feel they have done something wrong, feel that mental discomfort etc....ive noticed since a child I have felt sometimes a deep deep "taking things personally" feeling so I'm sure it's all related. Specifically(which this seems obvious) my dad who I am close to , however he wasn't always the top notch father when I was kid...I want to him to feel that feeling of hurt or being wrong etc...i know that seems obvious why I would want that for him...but does anyone have any input of where this comes from?

 

[rosiemayor]

It’s normal to sometimes wish others could understand your pain or experience the same struggles you do, especially when you feel misunderstood or wronged. It doesn’t mean you want to cause harm, but rather that you wish for empathy and understanding. It might be helpful to talk to someone about these feelings and find healthier ways to process and cope with them.

 

[Jonathan123]

First I am very much aware and also I very much admit my faults so I realize this isn't a good thing but I would like to know why...sometimes I catch myself wanting certain people to hurt or feel they have done something wrong, feel that mental discomfort etc....ive noticed since a child I have felt sometimes a deep deep "taking things personally" feeling so I'm sure it's all related. Specifically(which this seems obvious) my dad who I am close to , however he wasn't always the top notch father when I was kid...I want to him to feel that feeling of hurt or being wrong etc...i know that seems obvious why I would want that for him...but does anyone have any input of where this comes from?

'Lashing out' is another of those anxiety symptoms. We become introverted and self centred. This is not selfishness because that would imply a knowing. We so often don't know why and that in itself can cause anxiety. Because we are angry with ourselves we project that feeling of anger onto others. There used to be an old song part of which went 'We always hurt the one we love, the one we shouldn't hurt at all'. Once again we should not be alarmed by this because it is a natural reaction to stress. If we fall into the trap of seeing our condition as someone else's fault then we should make every attempt to see it differently. We have to face the fact that our condition is down to our perception of events, not someone else's. Ultimately it is how WE see things, not how others see them.
It probably stems from childhood. Most anxiety symptoms do.
Ths condition is more prevalent in sensitive people, which most anxiety sufferers are.
If we have a bad childhood in a dysfunctional household it is going to affect our adult life. I know because it happened to me. But much later when my parents had died I forgave them. They didn't know what they were doing. Forgiveness is important in coming to terms with our past traumas. 'To err is human, to forgive divine'. An old saying but true.
Never regard any feelings in anxiety as abnormal. They are all normal in the circumstances we have created by the way we think.