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Why aren't relaxation techniques working at all for me?

suzzeeb

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I have been doing some form of guided meditation/breathing exercises/muscle relaxation twice a day for months now. My counselor said that brains can change in time to be more relaxed with doing these things several times a day. I haven't noticed any difference at all. If anything I continue to get worse. I'm sleeping 3-4 hours a night even with anxiety meds. I'm seriously scared right now and wondering why things aren't improving at all for me. I'm an anxious, depressed mess! I basically struggle through every single day just doing what I need to, exhausted and depressed.
 

Cuchculan

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Some people find these kinds of things harder than other people. I know I hate the whole deep breathing sort of thing. Sit in the one place and just try and stay still. Can be next to impossible for some of us. The mind can begin to wander and we think of the bad things in our lives. I prefer to relax as I do things. I might read a book. Relax as I am reading. Play a game. Relax as I am doing that. Rather than sit in the one spot and do nothing. Have to find out what works best for you. Easy to get frustrated when what is meant to work does not work. It can really annoy you. Play around with ideas a bit. Find something you like to do. Let that be your relaxation period. When things are not working as they tell us they should we can try and force it to work. That does nothing at all. Just makes us even more angry. So find out what works for you. Reading. Writing. Gardening. Who knows. I just find to be doing something is better.
 

suzzeeb

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I feel relaxed while I'm doing it sometimes but overall it hasn't changed anything, and now my sleep has completely gone, and that is most of my problem now. I think it's from being depressed ? I really think my anxiety turned into depression and that's what I'm dealing with right now. I have no idea. I should have kept taking the antidepressant my doctor prescribed and rode out the side effects, but I hoped I would just get better on my own, but now I'm in such a bad place it's freaking me out. I have a referral to talk to a psychiatrist and am waiting for them to call me,so hopefully that will help. Plus I'm taking that stupid Klonopin (still terrified I'm addicted by the way) and it's not helping me sleep and actually makes me feel worse the next day. I'm a hot mess right now.
 

imsotired

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oh sorry you are feeling this way- i know how you feel its tough fighting and it gets tiring sometimes. being self aware plays a big part in dealing with anxiety or depression. what i use is the acronym UB HALt. u stands for uncomfortable. B stands for bored H stands for hungrary a stands for angry l stands for lonely and t stands for tired. fulfilling your needs is very important. we often dont know what is going on with us bc we havent checked the basic needs. also heath care rlly helps. also journalling- writing down what you are feeling on paper
making your bed, shinning light into ur room.


remember making a conscious effort to get better will make you feel better

remember that you are aloud to have a daay where you dont make any progress. always be kind to yourself

hope this helps
 

Cuchculan

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People can become down when they have anxiety. Down because their anxiety is stopping them from been able to do things. Is like a deep, dark hole they can fall into. If their anxiety can lift, the depressive side of things should lift as well. Maybe you are simply trying too hard. You have this person tell you that this, that and the other should work and you thought ' great '. You tried them all and nothing seemed to work at all. What this person probably should have told you is it takes time. A lot of time in some cases. Took me years to get some things to work. Many failed attempts. Wondering would I get anywhere. But I kept pn going. I didn't quit. Tried not to get frustrated. That is the main thing that can keep a person doing. Frustration. You try something and see no results. But like most things, you just have to keep on trying it. Over and over again. Until it becomes part of you. Probably work when you least expect it to.
 

suzzeeb

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Thank you for your encouragement. I know you are right. How can things that I've had pretty much a lifetime just go away after a few months of changing things. Those things need to become a part of how I live from now on and will take a long time. I know I need to just keep moving forward and doing the best I can every day. Some days that just seems overwhelming. Thanks again for always having something positive to say to put things in perspective!
 

Cuchculan

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I have been around the block with my anxiety for about 30 years now. First 10 of those years I was lost. Nothing seemed to want to work. I tried everything. Guess we get a lucky break some day and something goes right for us. We learn as we go. What works and what does not work. Once we find what works we can use that and stop fearing the anxiety. I wish there was a miracle answer. That things will get better next week. Something so deep rooted has to be undone. How we do that we have to try and find out. The theory is all there. But using it is the hardest part of all. There is a way back. Never give up hope. Just how to get there is what you have to find out. Like I say it might come when you least expect it. Might read something in a book. See something on TV. I done a lot of reading years ago. Explored every culture out there. Odd as that might sound. From Native American to Buddhism. They all carry a little something. Just keep on searching.
 

Natsuka

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Thank you for your encouragement. I know you are right. How can things that I've had pretty much a lifetime just go away after a few months of changing things.
Your situation sounds very difficult to endure. The medications can sometimes mess up the body's natural healing mechanisms and chemistry.

I am going through a lot myself, and I have arrived at a situation, where almost everything scares me to some extent. Maybe I am too long on the computer now, when I am supposed to try to sleep. Should I eat or not? Should I brush my teeth before a short nap? But brushing more than 2 times a day is dangerous. What if my sleeping rhythm changes, and my awake-time is not consistent, how do I calculate '2 times a day' in that situation? So scared of making a mistake.

I can no longer just relax and live my life, constantly worrying about something (usually teeth-related, as I just had two teeth removed last week).

All these 'appointments' in the future - what if I have the exact wrong sleeping rhythm and miss the appointment, it'll cost 50 euros!

Anyway, enough about me, I just meant to give you explanations so you understand that I am in a similar boat, where every day is a warzone against insanity, anxiety, weird emotions, fears, and trying to find times to just enjoy life and relax, but it seems impossible, it's like the anxiety sucks all the joy out of me and all possibility for enjoying anything.

I found a free book - some old harlequin novel, so probably not anything that interesting, but it's surprisingly interesting so far - and I got the idea of trying to just lay in bed, reading a book until I get sleepy and then I could hopefully fall asleep easily. That's the only thing that feels 'exciting' right now, because it's something new to try.

My goal is to wake up at 06 am in a couple of days, so I have enough energy to do all the preparation - even taking a shower seems like a scary task that will make me cold (it's cold because of winter, and they don't heat enough here) and require so much work, although it's a mundane task to most people, I think.

I wish you find solace and relief to your pain and difficult feeling .. it must be hell to just struggle like that every day, I wish we could all just enjoy life at least some days.
 
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