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What HA episode are you currently going through?

bigjetplane6

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So what’s your current scare and why?
And also, how many illness/diseases have you thought you had in the past and you didn’t?
Stay strong everyone.
 

Mcarva

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Right now I’m terrified that I have breast cancer. No symptoms but mammogram is tomorrow and my anxiety is through the roof.
Since I started HA at the age of 12, I had been convinced that I had: brain tumor, was going blind, MS, bone cancer, leukemia, ovarian cancer, breast cancer, pancreatic cancer, heart disease, colon cancer, throat cancer (I’m sure there are more but I can’t remember them). I always live in a state of “something bad is going to happen”. It’s very tiring
 

Fraser

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Currently sacral chordoma, which is basically cancer of the tailbone. I'm a 40 year old man who is not overweight (although I am out of shape). My main symptom is persistent tailbone pain and some tingling and numbness in my left foot. A few days ago I went to a physio for an "internal" examination, which included having a finger up my butt for about 20 minutes. When the physio told me my tailbone was skewed slightly to the right I asked if a tumor could be pushing it in that direction. She informed me that a tumor of that magnitude would be felt during the rectal exam. For the moment, this caused my anxiety to dissipate, but I have been wrestling with HA for decades, so I know any reprieve is temporary and that I need to get proactive about getting better during the down time instead of waiting for the next episode to strike.


Things I have been worried about:

Brain tumors when I was 18 [actually headaches]
Testicular cancer as a teenager [actually a small skin cyst]
Appendicitis, multiple times [seriously, just an upset stomach/bloating]
"White flashes" in my vision (brain tumor) when I was 24 [stress] - CAT scan. Nothing.
Double vision (brain tumor) at 26 [dry eyes] - I had an MRI for this one. I think about this sometimes and how I held up the line for an MRI for people that really needed one.
Herpes - Multiple times [insect bite once, heat rash another time] - While herpes in not a fatal illness or even that big a deal, this one caused me maybe the most anxiety!
Tonsil and/or nasopharyngeal cancer - For years in my late 30s. So far it has been... nothing.

Things that are helping:

1. Daily mindfulness mediation (I use an app called "Tripp" but you need a VR headset for it)
2. Working out 4-5 time a week
3. CBT therapy and exercising.
4. Journaling my anxiety
5. Filling out the form attached to this post on a daily basis when I am experiencing HA
6. NOT GOOGLING SYMPTOMS.
 

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Fraser

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Over analyzing my stool, concerned about bowel or intestinal cancers or issues
It got so bad for me that I would literally reach into the toilet and take my stool out to inspect it. I am aware of how absolutely ****** up that is, but that is how bad it got for me and where my mind was at. I was worried about shape and color. Huh, I forgot to put bowel cancer on my list. I had a colonoscopy last year that came back all clear. It turns out I was sick but with HA not bowel cancer.
 

JD_Blue

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It got so bad for me that I would literally reach into the toilet and take my stool out to inspect it. I am aware of how absolutely ****** up that is, but that is how bad it got for me and where my mind was at. I was worried about shape and color. Huh, I forgot to put bowel cancer on my list. I had a colonoscopy last year that came back all clear. It turns out I was sick but with HA not bowel cancer.
Yeah, I havent scooped it out, but I have looked at it before. Trying to figure stuff out, did a stool sample at the age of 25 yesterday. Just nervous, had a bunch of different stuff, had a while where it was very soft, almost liquid, and yellowish, which made me worry about pancreatic stuff, I stopped taking my vitamins and supplements and it went back to a mostly normal brown color, but I noticed often those dark coffee flakes which can be a lot of things but also blood. Then tonight, after some days of normalcy lets just say once I got back from work where I was in and out of a vehicle for 10 hours shortly after dinner its very running and almost like a mixture of dark brown and green? Which causes my anxiety to spike again. Im glad you were okay though.
 

Samurai

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Mine is currently what i think is TMJ. My left side of jaw feels tight and heavy. Also my cheek feels thick and stiff. The occasional tingling. Im sure its my Tmj because of clenching my jaw. But the anxiety im having is Brain Tumour. Its not severe. And i know it sounds mad.
 

bigjetplane6

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It got so bad for me that I would literally reach into the toilet and take my stool out to inspect it. I am aware of how absolutely ****** up that is, but that is how bad it got for me and where my mind was at. I was worried about shape and color. Huh, I forgot to put bowel cancer on my list. I had a colonoscopy last year that came back all clear. It turns out I was sick but with HA not bowel cancer.
I mean for people that understand HA, it’s normal to do things like that. Things that the “average” person wouldn’t do. We aren’t judging you.
Mine is currently what i think is TMJ. My left side of jaw feels tight and heavy. Also my cheek feels thick and stiff. The occasional tingling. Im sure its my Tmj because of clenching my jaw. But the anxiety im having is Brain Tumour. Its not severe. And i know it sounds mad.
Doesn’t sound mad at all. HA makes us skip all of the benign reasons could be and we focus on the worst reason that we all fear. We go from 0-100 real fast.
 

Samurai

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I mean for people that understand HA, it’s normal to do things like that. Things that the “average” person wouldn’t do. We aren’t judging you.

Doesn’t sound mad at all. HA makes us skip all of the benign reasons could be and we focus on the worst reason that we all fear. We go from 0-100 real fast.
I found not Googling symptoms has helped me. Ive made a pact with myself. NO GOOGLING SYMPTOMS
 

Fraser

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I mean for people that understand HA, it’s normal to do things like that. Things that the “average” person wouldn’t do. We aren’t judging you.
Thanks, but I am waaaay past caring if people judge me. I do appreciate the sentiment though.
Mine is currently what i think is TMJ. My left side of jaw feels tight and heavy. Also my cheek feels thick and stiff. The occasional tingling. Im sure its my Tmj because of clenching my jaw. But the anxiety im having is Brain Tumour. Its not severe. And i know it sounds mad.
It sounds like typical HA. What's the worst possible diagnosis? That's what I have. Much more likely to be something else? Well, this is the exception. We've all been there.
 

Izthewiz

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None anymore.
Health Anxiety needs to be addressed and divorced.
No Google, no webmd nothing but what's in front of you.
You have a better chance of dying from a car accident today than cancer or anything else sinister.
Remember you are in deaths path everyday even eating you can choke and die.
Fight all Anxiety look at yourself like a apex lion and you can beat this I did.
 
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Samurai

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None anymore.
Health Anxiety needs to be addressed and divorced.
No Google, no webmd nothing but what's in front of you.
You have a better chance of dying from a car accident today than cancer or anything else sinister.
Remember you are in deaths path everyday even eating you can choke and die.
Fight all Anxiety look at yourself like a apex lion and you can beat this I did.
I agree with u. I also 100% believe that our death is already destined before we are born. So really there should be no anxiety.
 

Julieann90

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Gosh does HA suck! In the past I have though I have had breast cancer, lung cancer, brain tumour, bowel/anal cancer... all clear. My current one is tongue/tonsil cancer. But actually right now apart from still wondering what is going on with my tongue I do truly believe I have tonsillitis, really sore throat, swollen tonsil, white specks on tonsils, difficulty swallowing and headache. Although a tiny part of me is wondering if this is connected to my tongue issue... shoot me now lol.
 
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I mean for people that understand HA, it’s normal to do things like that. Things that the “average” person wouldn’t do. We aren’t judging you.

Doesn’t sound mad at all. HA makes us skip all of the benign reasons could be and we focus on the worst reason that we all fear. We go from 0-100 real fast.
I do that when I am on an episode about bowel disease; also collect urine in a glass and insert tampons to examine any traces. I check saliva, use cotton buds to check ears and nostrils. I don't check every orifice all the time, it is usually just one depending on the episode!
If I'm not doing that, it's temperature, every 30 seconds, different side of mouth, neck, groin and armpit lymph nodes. There are more! It is exhausting! I'm scared of doing nice things like going for a massage or a facial and have even been scared of going to hairdresser-in fact, anything where another person touches me!
I do that when I am on an episode about bowel disease; also collect urine in a glass and insert tampons to examine any traces. I check saliva, use cotton buds to check ears and nostrils. I don't check every orifice all the time, it is usually just one depending on the episode!
If I'm not doing that, it's temperature, every 30 seconds, different side of mouth, neck, groin and armpit lymph nodes. There are more! It is exhausting! I'm scared of doing nice things like going for a massage or a facial and have even been scared of going to hairdresser-in fact, anything where another person touches me!
 
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