What Do You Do To Calm Down When You're Angry Or Very Irritated?

For me it is hard since I have a problem with anger and yelling myself but sometimes I can control it and other times I cannot,sometimes I will knit or crochet and sing I love to sing. Sometimes when I feel like yelling I just hum the words out. I wish I knew how to control it because sometimes it has gotten me into trouble here where i live. I dont think they understand mental illness to well here.Mine is from a bad fall I had plus it doesn'tt help that i have depression along with bipolar,anxieties to of course.I wish I knew how to get rid of it I am on meds sometimes they work and other times no. There are times when I cannot sleep and other times I sleep all night .Most of the time I only get like 3-5 hours so I have to nap if I can during the day.. I also try to think of things I love like the beach walking in the sand and the water.

 

Usually if I'm very angry/irritated I try to remove myself from the trigger. I find walking is my cure, so I leave immediately and take a brisk walk and I normally start to feel better. I also try to think of something else, like a happy thought to cloud the image of what made me mad to begin with. This usually works for me.

 

sometimes when I get angry I cannot understand why.Sometimes I just lose it,if it gets to be really bad I yell ya but i try to do is either sing or hum if i can it sure is better for my health then yelling,Usually what triggers it off is tech problems i know nothing about fixing things and when i do i get very upset and nervous thus the anger and frustration builds up,I get so nervous and anxious very easily now when it gets nicer out I will be going to sit outside again and you know what last year when i felt like yelling and I went outside the yelling was not there i felt fine,to bad they cannot bottle the weather,

 

When I'm completely flustered and feel that stress and anxiety is making me unable to communicate with my loved ones, do my job and take care of things. I feel like i'm losing control of my self and falling inside negative emotions with no way out. I have found relaxation videos help me relax and center myself. I have been using these a couple of years now and I know that these videos don't help everybody but theres no harm in trying it right? Here is a link to one video I have been using lately.

 

Ah this is so correct thread to read on. I am very short tempered and I have to calm down with real great efforts when I am irritated.

I tried controlling my anger with laughing off, counting up to 10 backwards, deep breathing and so on but nothing really worked for me.

Then I adopted a very arrogant way to calm down. It is really very egoistic way and I know it but it helps me so I use it. Whenever I get angry at someone, I just think in my head, is he/she even worth my anger and I automatically smile.

Obviously I know in my head that I am not any better than most people and I respect them equally but I just see them as ignorant at THAT particular moment and it helps me.

 

I usually try to say as little as possible when I am feeling angry because I know that anything I say will make me feel bad later. I try to remove myself from the situation that is making me feel angry as soon as possible as well so that I can work through it in private. I find that I usually feel guilty if I let my anger affect how I deal with other people.

 

I cry.

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Sometimes writing an angry letter to the person who upset me helps. I never send it to them, but it gives me the chance to vent out all the frustration I have with them.

If I can't get away from the situation, well, I go in to fight or flight, often with poor results. I'm still working on that one.

 

Anger management is a very complex subject and everyone has their own way of tackling it. One way might work for one, but not for the other. It totally depends on the way of life and the personality of a person. Since my childhood, I have been a very short tempered person, but at the same time my temperament did not ever amount to violence. I believe it is very important for a person to limit his temper forcefully or naturally before going to the extent of hurting somebody physically. So as time passed, I started to tackle my temper with a number of ways. I usually go away or avoid eye contact with the person I am irritated with to avoid intimidation. When I am extremely angry over a situation, I usually go to the gym whenever possible to calm myself down and make some health. Lately, I have noticed that whenever I am angry or irritated by something, I share the reason of my frustration over a situation with as many people. This helps me get feedback or views from other people about what they thing and at times its yourself who is at fault. That is how I tackle my anger related issues nowadays.

 

When something irritates and frustrates me, I ask myself two questions
1. Ten years from now will this even really matter?
2. What can I benefit/learn from this situation?

The first question helps me to realize that it's not the end of the world and the second question helps me to start to focus on the positive side of things and let go of the negative 'why is this happening to me?' and instead start to think of what I can get out of the situation.