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um.. hi? no need to read this, but if u want to, please smile first! ^v^

sinbarb

New Member
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Jul 6, 2019
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hi? how are you? i hope you're having a great day!
i'm a new member. short introduction, i'm a 18 years old girl, in college majoring accounting and next year i'm going to graduated and maybe look for a job immediately. there's so many changes in my life and myself. but currently, i'm an ambivert girl. i could be such a extrovert and introvert depends on what kind of person that currently with me.
i have anxiety and insecurities. people around me always tell me that i shouldn't hang out with negative person. but me being me, "rules are made to be broken", i love to surround myself with people, that i prefer to called, broken people. in my country, broken people considered as a bad kid, have no future, have no attitude, and more bad labels attach to them. but i believe every people have their own reason, there's always behind the scene.

-short story, you may skip-
i met so many broken person, and i heard so many different life stories. most of them are kids that runaway from their abusive family. they live from place to place as a new family. they taught me so many life lesson that no one, not even school, not even my family had taught me. there's one thing they told me that i would never forget. their cover is bad, true. people labelled them as a bad person, true. they, their cover, HAVE to be bad. because in this cruel world, the weaker one die, and we should be stronger in order to survive.
and from what i already witnessed, broken people like them, have MORE attitude than normal people these days. they have bigger heart because of their pain. they treat older people and even animals a lot better than people these days. i don't even understand why people hate them and octracize them. i see them yelling at older people, i see them hurt animal, i see them hurt each other. i don't see pure love in my society. i don't find peace in my normal society, too many fake and toxicity that i need to wear mask to cover my true self. i found my peace when i was with this broken people, i can live my life without even need to wear any mask. no toxic. no mental health awareness in my society. it's all because i'm not praying enough and i'm always on my damn phone, they said. :)
i want to broke the stigma.
-continue-

i love to surround myself with broken people, hear out their stories, and comfort them; because only that way i could feel that i'm a strong person, i could feel that at least once i could be useful to my surroundings. even when night comes my insecurities attack. but i believe i'll be ok when i wake up the next morning.
i can't easily open up to a person. i have trust issues, even to myself. i live a tiring life, always feeling never enough, not good enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough. but i'm ok, i know it. i'm annoying, i'm dramatic, nobody gonna likes or even love me, i'm ok, i know it too. i don't even like me lmao.
i also have this toxic trait where i tend to mock myself, body-shamed myself, bring myself down, and underestimate myself, so so so bad, so that nothing other people say about me could bring me down.
that's it, my 'short' introduction. i actually don't know myself that well. sometimes i even confused by myself, like "what am i actually doing right now?" "omg, did i do that?" "yo, i don't remember lmao". so, yea.
sorry, you need to waste your time reading this garbage.
thank you, for give me you time to reading my very first post.
i appreciate it so much.
thank you.
have a greater day.
stay hydrated.
don't forget to smile. ^v^
i love you!
{sin}
 

Cuchculan

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2019
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Welcome to the forum. Hope you like here. Lot of good people. All suffering from one thing or another.

Nice first post. I think we are always great at solving the problems of others. But when it comes to our own problems we fail badly. Just the way it can be at times. You seem to do a lot of good for those other people. I am sure they all love you. Even if it is just to listen to their stories. It can be nice to have another person to talk to when you are all alone in the world. Credit were credit is due on that front.

Much like yourself I could never give a flying F what others think of me. Love me or hate. My way of looking at life. I am who I am. And I am never going to change my ways. You get what you see. Not saying I am a horrible person or anything. More of a straight talker. You ask a question I give a straight answer. Some people hate that. Life would be boring if we were all the same. Is good to be different at times. So always be yourself. It is not a contest to impress others. They will like you or they will not. Their loss.

Any roads. Hope you enjoy it here. You are with like minded people.
 
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