The past 5 nights, I've had completely sleepless nights for 3 of them

[TheWorrier]

First of all, I've been under a lot of stress recently with my dad dying a few weeks ago (who I had been living with) and my mother having to go into a care home due to her dementia. And am depressed a bit with it all.

Now I'm suffering from sleep problems, and specifically getting to sleep in the first place, which I have only very rarely suffered from in the past. Had the occasional problem getting to sleep in the past 2 months which I've very rarely experienced before.

But now it's got a whole lot worse. For the past 5 nights, I've had completely sleepless nights for 3 of them. I have a sleepless night, followed by a full night of sleep, then another sleepless night etc. However, before going to bed I can drop off to sleep usually when sitting at my computer or watching the TV, but then when I go to bed I might not sleep at all. So my insomnia is driven purely by anxiety with the source of my anxiety now being predominantly the fact I can't get to sleep. So a catch 22 situation. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Will this eventually end?

 

[Jonathan123]

First of all, I've been under a lot of stress recently with my dad dying a few weeks ago (who I had been living with) and my mother having to go into a care home due to her dementia. And am depressed a bit with it all.

Now I'm suffering from sleep problems, and specifically getting to sleep in the first place, which I have only very rarely suffered from in the past. Had the occasional problem getting to sleep in the past 2 months which I've very rarely experienced before.

But now it's got a whole lot worse. For the past 5 nights, I've had completely sleepless nights for 3 of them. I have a sleepless night, followed by a full night of sleep, then another sleepless night etc. However, before going to bed I can drop off to sleep usually when sitting at my computer or watching the TV, but then when I go to bed I might not sleep at all. So my insomnia is driven purely by anxiety with the source of my anxiety now being predominantly the fact I can't get to sleep. So a catch 22 situation. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Will this eventually end?

'Will this eventually end'? Yes it will if you go about it in the right way. I am so sorry to hear about your parents,
but is it any wonder you feel as you do? Bereavement can be manifested in so many ways. Everyone will act differently. Grief is a process that takes time. You will never forget, of course not, but it does become bearable after time. Time is the key factor here. Sleep is usually one of the main problems in anxiety. Have you seen your GP? It's a good idea to do so as they can help with the sleep problem. Your sleep rhythm is upset by events and needs to be brought back to normal. You are so right about the 'catch 22' situation. It really does sum up anxiety.
In anxiety we add fear to fear. You are fearful of not sleeping so you add fear to fear and make it even more difficult to sleep. When those with anxiety go to bed the mind can go into overdrive. Thoughts come like a herd of elephants, and make it even more difficult to sleep. Calming the mind is not easy, but can you accept that given your circumstances all this is bound to occur? 'Has anyone experienced this'? Have we just!! I would suggest that almost everyone with an anxiety problem has suffered from some form of sleep deprivation. Give it time. But try and accept it all as normal in the circumstances. True acceptance can give you time to think about your condition.
The thing is not to add fear to fear. Difficult yes, but it can be done.

 

[TheWorrier]

I wonder if it might be helpful to go to bed really late, like 2am so that I'm more tired? Fortunately, I don't need to get up at a particular time, as I don't currently work (I was a carer for my father until he passed away).

I haven't seen my GP yet, although if this continues, I might book an appointment.

I'm a bit worried about the harm the lack of sleep might be doing to me. I think the only thing preventing me from sleeping is thinking that I really need to sleep! Once I can manage to get to sleep 3 or 4 days in a row, I'll probably be OK as my anxiety will diminish, so I'll be able to sleep again.

 

[Jonathan123]

Yes, of course you will. The passing of time does tend to ease the pain, if only a little at first. I doubt going to bed late would make a lot of difference, after all it's still you! Thoughts will still come, and let them. Thoughts are simply memories of past events recurring in a tired mind, and although sometimes frightening, they can do no harm. Trying to supress thoughts, not think them is not possible. So accept it's how you are at the moment but will not always be so.

 

[TheWorrier]

Hi, yes the anxiety and thoughts will probably remain the same whether I go to bed at midnight or 2am. But, if I'm more tired by 2am then I'm much more likely to get some sleep.

Indeed, I think this is the mistake I made. I normally go to bed around midnight, but for some reason 5 days ago I wasn't feeling particularly tired at that time (although usually I am by midnight). And this resulted in a sleepless night. This hugely elevated my anxiety and will likely be responsible for the 2 subsequent sleepless nights.

 

[cathylynn]

I have had alot of insomnia in my life and usually for me if I have a bad night it seems to start a cycle of not sleeping well. It takes a while for me to get back into a rhythm. Mine stated this week from a mole biopsy I was waiting for, could not quiet my mind. I bought some melatonin and will see if that helps. If it gets to be a problem i'm sure a Dr. could help with some medications especially with everything you are going through.

 

[TheWorrier]

Just got up and I slept great last night. I spoke to a woman for an hour from the sleep charity last night, which helped. Although maybe I slept fine as I never slept at all the previous night and my body's catching up! But normally, I sleep for about 1-3 hours before briefly waking up, and this happens all night (at least for the past 2 years or so). But last night I slept for about 5.5 hours solid before waking up about 5.30am, then going back to sleep again.

 

[Jonathan123]

Just got up and I slept great last night. I spoke to a woman for an hour from the sleep charity last night, which helped. Although maybe I slept fine as I never slept at all the previous night and my body's catching up! But normally, I sleep for about 1-3 hours before briefly waking up, and this happens all night (at least for the past 2 years or so). But last night I slept for about 5.5 hours solid before waking up about 5.30am, then going back to sleep again.

That's good. It means your sleep rhythm is being restored. But don't make the mistake of taking it for granted, because another sleepless night could set you back again. Just take it a day at a time to establish that sleep habit.
It will all come right if you accept it all for what it is. Anxiety!