The beast within

[Joe diesel 09]

Anxiety. The beast inside us all. It's bigger and stronger in some of us. Like a monstrous ravenous wolf ready to devour our happiness and good thoughts, leaving behind darkness, despair and pain. The all too familiar monster that awaits within. Awakens to steal the very breathe we breath, captivate our thoughts, dominate our minds, replacing happiness with dread and darkness and loathing. Most of us fight the beast courageously at first until mentally and physically exhausted we crumple into the dust, overwelmed, defeated, suffering, just too weary to fight, giving in to the beast that dwells within. When will it weaken? It grows stronger every time we stop fighting. Some days we can keep it at bay, only inches away, snarling and snapping, so close you can feel its hot stinking breath in your nostrils but somehow, someway, we keep it at arms length. And other days, it attacks ferociously! And we are powerless to stop its onward barrage of aggression. What differs with each day? The days we succeed, to the days we fail? What differs? It's always so foggy. We fear we will never know. How does it grow so strong? It's because we feed it! With those in our lives, our jobs, our stressors, we simply feed it and it grows stronger and stronger. How long will it last? How long until it totally consumes our minds, our health, our very soul? Robbing us of a life worth living. Robbing us of our happiness, our sanity. I am totally and utterly exhausted. My mind reels with what ifs, bad scenereos, health scares and worries, the most impossibly huge feelings of overwelmedness that literally crushes the breath out of you! I fear at times there is no meds, no therapy, no help at all. How can we learn not to feed it? How can we learn to starve it to death, or if nothing else just weaken it until we can keep it pinned back in the depths? So that just maybe we can catch a glimpse of happiness. Catch a glimpse of a life that we all so desperately desire and deserve! The beast is cold and heartless. It has an insatiable appetite that seems to get harder and harder to appease. God be with us all..