Tainted feeling

[Phil10]

I have had this issue lately. Last year I worried my mum took an envelope from the bin a false worry and I worried my door was contaminated I got over this fear but a year later it came back. She use to unblock toilets and put the contents in the bin so my ocd says my house is tainted and ruined.
My second one is in my relationship I spoke to another women and my partner found the message I said stuff I never meant in the message and was keen on someone but in truth wasn’t keen so I fear my relationship is tainted and my partner believes what I put?

 

[Cuchculan]

I trying to get my head around this one. Is it fair to say that you don't like other people touching anything that belongs to you? Your mother after taken the envelope from the bin, then touched the door? Without washing her hands. I know this is hard on you. You have to live through it. Live with the fears you have. But what are the odds on your door been contaminated? Because of what your mother done. I think when we go through life we all touch things. Be it even shaking the hand of another person. I am not sure how you are with all of this sort of stuff? I would assume you would worry just as much.

Let us bring the girlfriend into the situation. I am sure you two get romantic with each other. You kiss. You hold hands. Chances are you have no trouble doing this. Or else it wouldn't be much of a relationship. So we can assume it is only certain things. Mainly your home and things your mother does. I am sure your mother is a smart person. After unblocking the toilet I am sure she was scrub her hands. I would imagine she would even clean the house. But you are just seen the bad things. In other words for all the things your mother does do, you are probably only picking out selective things. The good things you don't notice at all. The brain is picking up the things you fear only. I am sure if you watch your mother more closely, you will see she does a lot of other things too. You called it a ' False Worry '. So even you know there is no truth behind it. This is what you have to try and get into your mind. People touching things are not contaminating them. That is not how it works. Not unless they were infected with some deadly virus. Which we both know is taken it to the very extreme.

As for the girlfriend and the messages you sent this other girl. That is one for you and your girlfriend to sit down and have a nice long chat over. I can understand whilst she would be annoyed. She has every reason to be. It is one hole you are going to have to dig yourself out of. I can't pretend to have the right answer for the situation. Might have an answer if it was a mental health question. But you went and made a big mistake. You know you did. Now to get your girlfriend to believe that.