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Social Opportunities.

TheKindlyStranger

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I’m a new university student, all my high school buddies got shipped off to different states. I am struggling to find the right opportunities to socialize.

I think the root of my problem right now is in trying to approach people in an acceptable manner. Around I see plenty of people but many of them appear to give off social cues as to whether or not they want to be talked to. During times in between class, just about everybody seems to have someplace to be and the need to get there fast. You’ve got the occasional buddies chatting, but most people seem to either have their heads down, or have earbuds on. Other than a short pleasantry, a smile, or “how are you”, there doesn’t seem to be much opportunity to talk to people. I haven’t noticed this as much back in high school or middle school, but a **** ton of people here seem to be wearing earbuds when travelling. Around the university center during lunch times it honestly surprised me how many people I saw sitting alone. Against one wall’s entirety there were tables set for seating two, and almost all of them were seated by a single person. They either seemed to be the headphones kind, or the “ busy working on something” guy. (Am I wrong in assuming that somebody wearing headphones does not want to be talked to?) Otherwise, most people seem to be with their own buddy groups or cliques around. I’m not entirely sure about this category. Do I just pull up a chair, plop myself down, try to introduce myself, and get a conversation going? From my perspective it would seem awkward if a random stranger just appeared out of nowhere and tried to wedge himself into your conversation. To me this approach seems too forwards.

Socializing doesn’t seem to be encouraged during classes. During classes the professors mostly seem to expect students to shut up, pay attention to the lecture, take notes, work on problems and ask questions pertaining to the coursework.(Not completely unreasonable in my opinion)
Everyone immediately rushes off to their next class as soon as we finish.
I’m considering joining clubs as a method, however I’m still searching for ones that fit in my schedule. I have a high course workload from engineering, and a part time job.

My question is where should I try to look for opportunities to socialize? What type of person or situations should I look for?
Any advice is appreciated, thanks!
 

May Li

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Sep 8, 2019
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Hi,

I have read about this the other day. - Forget the world and focus on your own energies and you won't believe what happens to you. - And a lot of people responded and agreed to the post. Thinking about it, I think it is totally true. Sometimes we tend to depend on others, thinking that there lies our happiness, our joy, we want friends, we want to be part of a group or we focus on what they do and we want to be a part of it. I think what that says is, we focus our attention and energy on ourselves first. What we have, what we can do, what we are happy about, instead of focusing on others. And eventually, we are going to feel comfortable about ourselves too that we no feel to socialize or be part of a group. Does this make sense?
 

EMJ

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Sep 9, 2019
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Most universities sponsor social activities for students to become engaged. Do you live in a dorm? Do you have room mates? I am a retired university faculty member and I know this is a common issue for students. There are many students out there who feel the same as you so try to seek out those opportunities. Good Luck!!!
 
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