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Social Anxiety vs. Hypochondria

Angelx

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Hi all! About a month ago I came up here asking about my fear that I might have inflammatory breast cancer. My doctor thought I merely had a cyst and told me not to have caffeine for a month, then told me to talk with a social worker about getting a breast ultrasound at a sliding scale fee so I’d have peace of mind. The social worker called me the next day, I didn’t hear my phone ring so I didn’t answer. Then she calls my boyfriend, who I’d put as my backup contact, and notifies him that since I hadn’t answered, she was on her way to my house! That seemed very excessive to me, and my parents hate that I’m seeking healthcare (long story), so I had to tell her not to come. My parents had no idea I was even supposed to talk to the social worker, I’m not sure what they would’ve thought if she’d shown up unannounced!
Anyway, she ended up coming by anyway to leave some paperwork in my mailbox. I needed to fill it out ASAP so I could get the ultrasound. The problem was, since the doctor had said the scan would be for my peace of mind, I was going to skip out on it.
I get terrible, awful anxiety when I have to talk on the phone, especially to someone I don’t know. Still, I pushed back my social anxiety long enough to call the woman and tell her I didn’t want to do it. She was persistent and pushy so I ended up agreeing to meet with her to deliver the paperwork within two days. I hated myself for not just saying no. I start doing the paper and realize I need two documents proving I live in the state, some kind of tax forum I’ve never heard of (not a W2), SIX of my most recent pay stubs, and four more documents that I can’t remember off hand. I’m new to adulting and making my own appointments, so this was understandably overwhelming. I get that they have to prove that I need assistance, but I didn’t know where to even start in getting those things. For my pay stubs I’d have to ask my boss for them and then explain why I need so many, and that scares me. The social worker said she’d help me get what I needed but talking to her was a nightmare for my social anxiety.

I filled out one sheet with no documentation and got preapproved, which meant I could set up the appointment and go as long as I turn in the required forms soon after. The social worker set up the appointment for me and I never knew about it until I got a letter in the mail. The thought of going to the hospital for the scan was scaring me because I’d have to talk to people and I’m afraid of the virus. The thought of canceling it was just as scary because I’d have to talk to people. The thought of telling my social worker I was done with all this was even worse because of how pushy she kept being.

So I did what was easiest, I called that hospital myself and cancelled the appointment. The social worker never contacted me again after that.

Two weeks later (which was yesterday), I had my follow up. It was via telehealth so my doctor couldn’t feel me to see if the cyst is still there. I told her I can’t find it anymore but I could be checking wrong. It still hurts. She then told me I should definitely go for the ultrasound to be safe and get the social worker to meet me somewhere so she can help me get what I need. I said okay, but I’m now going back and forth about it I should go or not.

Idk why I’m so terrified of talking to that woman, but it’s not like we can sit down somewhere and discuss the paperwork. I have to talk on the phone or otherwise stand and yell from six feet apart about my personal problems. I don’t like that.

I can’t even work up the courage to call her. I’m horribly anxious and can’t stand the way it feels. But worrying I have cancer feels bad too. I’m between a rock and a hard place. Can someone please help me? Anyone else ever get caught between hypochondria and social anxiety?? What did you do?


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Cuchculan

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I always hated talking on phones. I would stumble over my every word. One day I simply told myself ' they can't even see me '. In other words I could be sitting there naked and talking to them for all they knew. Case of which was best? Sitting there face to face or sitting there on a phone no having to face them? Suddenly I found I could talk on a phone no problem at all. I simply slowed myself down. Took a breath. What was the hurry? I was going to do things at my own pace. Once I felt I was in full control over everything, no more stumbling over my words. Used to be as bad face to face as well. Like I wanted to get the words out as quickly as possible. I was like a stutter machine. I simply began taken my time outdoors as well. There was no hurry at all. That same deep breath. Took a step backwards. Just relaxed my mind. Just think of you sitting there, in control, and her not having a clue of what you are doing on the other end of the phone. You could be dancing for all she knows. She can't see you. You can't see her.
 

Angelx

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Joined
Apr 16, 2020
Messages
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6
I always hated talking on phones. I would stumble over my every word. One day I simply told myself ' they can't even see me '. In other words I could be sitting there naked and talking to them for all they knew. Case of which was best? Sitting there face to face or sitting there on a phone no having to face them? Suddenly I found I could talk on a phone no problem at all. I simply slowed myself down. Took a breath. What was the hurry? I was going to do things at my own pace. Once I felt I was in full control over everything, no more stumbling over my words. Used to be as bad face to face as well. Like I wanted to get the words out as quickly as possible. I was like a stutter machine. I simply began taken my time outdoors as well. There was no hurry at all. That same deep breath. Took a step backwards. Just relaxed my mind. Just think of you sitting there, in control, and her not having a clue of what you are doing on the other end of the phone. You could be dancing for all she knows. She can't see you. You can't see her.
I LOVE this perspective!!! Thank you!


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