Riddled with fear
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- Apr 3, 2021
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A month ago I was having upper abdominal pain. Thought it was due to the amount of coffee and bananas consumed daily. Went away briefly. Woke up one morning and had diarrhea probably due to some drinking the night prior. It wasn’t until I thought I saw blood that things got crazy. Being the hypochondriac I am, I googled. Since then all I can think about is Colon cancer. Occasionally I convince myself it can be something else but Cancer just keeps consuming me. Since googling I became obsessed with my stool. I don’t know if it’s always been this way but it doesn’t seem normal. While it’s formed, it’s soft. I wouldn’t say it is as thin as a pencil but it’s not thick. I really don’t know what flat ribbon means but it’s does appear stringy sometimes. The color always changes from yellowish brown to dark brown. I have visited the GI Doctor and showed him pictures just for a piece of mind. He agreed it is a little soft but wasn’t concerned as it was still forming. However the more I read, the more I feel. I now have a feeling that I have to go but nothing happens. Some days I go once, other twice but in the last two days I went 3 times. REALLY SCARED. I don’t know if it’s nerves, I don’t know if I’m manifesting symptoms by reading, or if it really Cancer. I’m scheduled for an endoscopy and ultrasound. However, he stated he doesn’t feel a colonoscopy is warranted at this time. There’s times I’m ok and maybe it’s because I’m preoccupied. But most times I’m alone and overthink constantly. Please anyone chime in. I need to hear from others. The biggest fear right now is the feeling of having to use the bathroom and nothing happening. Stomach pain however has been decreasing daily