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Relationship Anxiety & depression. I can’t cope.

Georgiia

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Please some one give me some advise! Am I the only one who experiences this? I’ve had the best 5 month relationship with my boyfriend. No anxiety at all. Then all of a sudden it’s attacked me. I’ve been a anxious depressive mess for about 3 weeks now. Signed off work, not eating, waking up early and having panic attacks and it’s all based around my loving relationship. I even ended the relationship. I guess I was running away and thought my anxiety would go but it didn’t and I missed him so much so we are back together now but all I do is cry and sleep. I’m breaking my own heart
 

Cuchculan

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Talk to him about how you are feeling. Explaining why you ended things in the first place. Try and give him and understanding on how things work for you. By letting him in you won't have to hide anything from him. Together it might be something you can both work through. I am sure he would want to help you as best he could. He probably doesn't know what he can do. For the record I have ended a few relationships because of my anxiety. Just to be alone and have my own space. Never did solve anything. But at the time it felt like the right thing to do. Not sure if you see a therapist? To talk things over with. Get some feedback from. Even journal your thoughts. How you are feeling at any given time. What thoughts are going through your head. What fears are there. Might help you in some small way.
 

Georgiia

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Talk to him about how you are feeling. Explaining why you ended things in the first place. Try and give him and understanding on how things work for you. By letting him in you won't have to hide anything from him. Together it might be something you can both work through. I am sure he would want to help you as best he could. He probably doesn't know what he can do. For the record I have ended a few relationships because of my anxiety. Just to be alone and have my own space. Never did solve anything. But at the time it felt like the right thing to do. Not sure if you see a therapist? To talk things over with. Get some feedback from. Even journal your thoughts. How you are feeling at any given time. What thoughts are going through your head. What fears are there. Might help you in some small way.
I’ve told him everything. He’s been round to my house with my mum and step dad and we’ve all sat down and spoken about it. He’s so understanding and the sweetest. I have been to a therapist once on Tuesday and will see her weekly. She thinks I have abandonment issues and I am in a catastrophic Crisis. I’m on anti depressants too, have been for years, I’m on the highest dose. I just feel so overwhelmed all the time when it’s comes to my boyfriend. The therapist says I don’t know how to deal with strong emotions. I just hope she can help me.
 

Cuchculan

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Abandonment issues? Think I have heard that one used many a time. My guess would be she will speak about feeling loved and that it is fine to feel loved. She might also throw in things about if a relationship ends. Could you handle that sort of thing. Is that what is really on your mind. The normal sort of things. You feel great when he is around and when you kiss and say good night and he heads home, the mind and the anxiety kick into overdrive. There are many ways we can spin this one. I will be curious to hear to which one the therapist uses. Because they can all come into play. If it did end would you feel sad and even more depressed? Say if he ended it. Not you. With depression people feel low and have a little bit of the not feeling so good about themselves. So to have a person show you affection and care about you goes against what a lot of people with depression feel about themselves. Keep us posted on how things work out.
 

triceps

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Hi Georgiia. I ended a very good relationship because of my anxiety. Five years later we got back together after I was prescribed Xanax and we've been happily married for 34 years. My anxiety is just as bad today but my supportive wife is a great caretaker while still maintaining an independent life. We went to three pre-marital counseling sessions together which allowed each of us to express any of our concerns. Perhaps your boyfriend joining one of your therapy sessions might help.
 

Georgiia

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ive only had 1 counselling session so far. I was thinking it would be a good idea if he came along one day maybe in the future. Your marriage is like a fairy tale :)
Abandonment issues? Think I have heard that one used many a time. My guess would be she will speak about feeling loved and that it is fine to feel loved. She might also throw in things about if a relationship ends. Could you handle that sort of thing. Is that what is really on your mind. The normal sort of things. You feel great when he is around and when you kiss and say good night and he heads home, the mind and the anxiety kick into overdrive. There are many ways we can spin this one. I will be curious to hear to which one the therapist uses. Because they can all come into play. If it did end would you feel sad and even more depressed? Say if he ended it. Not you. With depression people feel low and have a little bit of the not feeling so good about themselves. So to have a person show you affection and care about you goes against what a lot of people with depression feel about themselves. Keep us posted on how things work out.
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I feel anxious and overwhelmed with our relationship. I can’t explain it. I’m not scared of losing him, he wouldn’t leave me however if he did, I wouldn’t blame him. I left him a few days ago because of my anxiety and then realised it wasn’t him and asked for him back. It’s
it’s the relationship. I want to be with him but I feel sick to my stomach but I don’t know why? I’ll keep you updated
 

triceps

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I was making a lot of money at the time and we're enjoying a good retirement (although I can't go anyplace) which might have influenced her decision making. But I do think the sooner your boyfriend joins you at therapy, the sooner you'll get past this crisis.
 
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