Reclusive anxiety

[Charlie]

I took some LSD when I was 15 years old - since that day I've been suffering with depression anxiety and social anxiety ever since - now age 45 - my life has been a permanent struggle - I work 5/6 days a week and essentially spend the rest of my time at home - I do go out but normally drinking alcohol and find socialising exhausting - I thought I'd found a new girlfriend recently but that has all come to an erupte end several weeks ago - reason? Because I don't go out much because I'm boring because I don't like to socialize because I don't have many friends - same story over and over. Feeling pretty low today - thought I'd join this forum.

 

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Thing about drugs such as LSD is you can have a very bad trip. Same can be said about any form of drugs really. Some people will claim it relaxes them. I claim it makes people paranoid. Makes them more anxious.

As for the staying at home part. I stay indoors for nearly 10 years. Was afraid to leave my house. Panic attacks and all of that. I guess you could say I got fed up looking at the walls of my bedroom. Slowly began going back out. Takes time. You have been indoors for so long. That is what you are used to. Not sure if you have any interests at all? Something that might get you out of the house. Even photography. Go out. Bring a camera with you. Snap a few pictures. Post them on here for us to see. Be like looking at life through the lens of a camera.

I am in my 50's and been single for lord knows how long. Did have two quick flings over the years. Oddly with people on the net. Not even from my country. I am sure there is somebody out there waiting for you. Just try and find some things to do. That will at least give you something to talk about. Build up your self esteem. I am sure you are not as boring as you say you are. We can have such opinions of ourselves. That is us thinking that. Others might not think that.

So try find something you might like doing. It might get you out of the house. Might even change your life.

 

[Charlie]

Welcome to the forum. Thing about drugs such as LSD is you can have a very bad trip. Same can be said about any form of drugs really. Some people will claim it relaxes them. I claim it makes people paranoid. Makes them more anxious.

As for the staying at home part. I stay indoors for nearly 10 years. Was afraid to leave my house. Panic attacks and all of that. I guess you could say I got fed up looking at the walls of my bedroom. Slowly began going back out. Takes time. You have been indoors for so long. That is what you are used to. Not sure if you have any interests at all? Something that might get you out of the house. Even photography. Go out. Bring a camera with you. Snap a few pictures. Post them on here for us to see. Be like looking at life through the lens of a camera.

I am in my 50's and been single for lord knows how long. Did have two quick flings over the years. Oddly with people on the net. Not even from my country. I am sure there is somebody out there waiting for you. Just try and find some things to do. That will at least give you something to talk about. Build up your self esteem. I am sure you are not as boring as you say you are. We can have such opinions of ourselves. That is us thinking that. Others might not think that.

So try find something you might like doing. It might get you out of the house. Might even change your life.

Hi

Thanks for replying - you do make some very good points by the way - when I say boring what I ment was that the x was saying I was "boring" and all ways at home etc as part of the reasoning she gave - I actually like staying home - I have two main interest's that I do at home - making electronic music (in fact my music is available on line in digital and vinyl formats and I also get DJ bookings here and there) and playing the acoustic guitar - these have always been my main interest's - but I'm still left with this social anxiety and depression stuff...

 

[Cuchculan]

So you do get out? Do a few live sets. Or did before the pandemic. Lot of people in those clubs. You play a guitar as well. That is far from boring. Wish I could do both. If I am to be honest, I love my own company. Just the way some people are. I do go out. But I do things I can do by myself outside the house. Main one been gardening. Just my way of getting out. I assume with the live sets you did, you had to talk to people? My own view on this is you met a girl who was over the top active. We meet people like that, it can seem to them that we are boring people because we don't go for the whole running around trying to do as much as possible. I am sure there are more women out there who prefer a quiet night in. They probably assume because you DJ and do the whole music thing, that you like to live the fast life. Honestly it is just a case of meeting the right person. You ever sample sounds from outside the house? As in record traffic or work going on in the area. Mix it into the music. Just throwing ideas out there. Mixing what you like to do with going out and about. Be a great distraction from life at home. Might even help the depression. Moby, one of the best in the business suffered from panic attacks and depression. He could never get into a relationship because of his anxiety. Look how far he got. Granted he done a lot of drugs. Until he copped on. His music is amazing though. To think he is just like us were the anxiety and depression is concerned.

 

[unhappymeals]

Hi Charlie.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there before (reclusive, “boring”, stuck in a rut). I too became anxious after drugs but my stories a little different I was an addict from 13-21 and was probably more so using drugs to mask my anxiety (unknowingly), so when I got clean 6 years ago I suddenly had this OVERWHELMING anxiety. It was so bad I’d drive to job interviews and not even go in. drive to the store and not go in.

As far as drinking goes I almost feel it can worsen anxiety in the end. Sure in the moment it makes you feel less anxious but the aftereffects (mentally) can stunt you.

I hope things improve for you! The girlfriend thing sucks but she clearly wasn’t right for you if you stay in and she wants to go out and do whatever.

Like with me- I’d never date a guy who wanted to go out “clubbing” or “partying” because 1- I’ve never stepped foot in a club and 2- I’m sober so we wouldn’t work at all lol.

Best of luck again!


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