Post Event Processing

[Gemma214]

Hi guys, I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice about post event processing. During social situations I am anxious, but it's afterwards that's really hard for me. I had coffee with some close friends today and afterwards I kept analyzing every little thing I did to make sure I didn't say anything that could hurt their feelings or offend them. Does anyone have any good tricks for reducing that kind of obsessing?

 

[triceps]

Gosh Gemma, that's one of the most frustrating things for me also. It's like, "What the heck? The situation is in the past, can't change it, why do I have to keep running my behavior over and over in my head?" I think it's our need to please people because of a lack of confidence in ourselves that makes us do it.

 

[Gemma214]

Gosh Gemma, that's one of the most frustrating things for me also. It's like, "What the heck? The situation is in the past, can't change it, why do I have to keep running my behavior over and over in my head?" I think it's our need to please people because of a lack of confidence in ourselves that makes us do it.

Exactly! It’s so infuriating sometimes.

 

[triceps]

I wish I had an answer for it but the only thing I've come up with is to have more confidence in myself, not let others determine who I am and accept that some people will never like you and others will accept us as we are. All our efforts to please others keeps us from being our natural selves and not "performing for others" takes alot less mental energy. Anxiety is draining enough already.