Please give me advice

[Concernedgal]

I was just informed not too long ago that my depression and anxiety is treatment resistant. The physiologist says my family is responsible. From my dad's abuse to my mom sticking her head in the sand . To my sister and brother being heavy on drugs. I am holding all of my feelings inside. And it's hrting my to do so. Anyways .. here my question to you guys. Should I cut the cord with my family for good? I'm just sick of this. I can't keep worrying like this. I just want to wash my hands of it all. But, should i? Please guys . What do you think. Should I cut ties with my family or should I not?

 

[_Lukas]

First of all, so sorry to hear about your situation and what you are going through. That sounds so hard.

My fiance cut ties with his family and, according to him, it was one of the best choices he ever made.
I personally believe that if a family is abusive and/or causing someone harm, it's best to cut ties. It's detrimental to one's mental health to stay in contact with people who are hurting you.

Ultimately it's up to you to make the decision, and if you decide it's the right thing to do and it's for the best, then it probably is.
I wish you the best and I hope you find that you've made the right decision.

 

[janemariesayed]

I was just informed not too long ago that my depression and anxiety is treatment resistant. The physiologist says my family is responsible. From my dad's abuse to my mom sticking her head in the sand . To my sister and brother being heavy on drugs. I am holding all of my feelings inside. And it's hrting my to do so. Anyways .. here my question to you guys. Should I cut the cord with my family for good? I'm just sick of this. I can't keep worrying like this. I just want to wash my hands of it all. But, should i? Please guys . What do you think. Should I cut ties with my family or should I not?

Oh, Golly! This is a big decision. I was abused by my adopted family on top of the other stuff I went through before hand. Every two weeks my ex-wicked stepmother would have me in tears with her horrible jibes. She couldn't hit me anymore but she could still be nasty and narcissistic. I gave that family 30 years of my life and to save myself, I had to cut my ties with them. It has been really hard living year by year with no family. Christmas was awful. It still is because I am always alone at that time. Sure I'm in touch with my blood family at the moment but I don't know how that will go. I only met them a couple of years ago and I'm 54 this month. It was hell living without my family of 30 years. I miss them terribly and still cry over it. Even though it was the best thing that I could do for myself to leave them or I would have been dead a long time ago. I did try already when I was 16 because of how they added to my victim-'hood'.

So it is difficult to know, stay connected and get more depressed and end up either topping yourself or having a heart problem (God forbid both.) or, cutting ties and feeling that awful emotional loss for years yet to come. One thing I can tell you though, losing connection with them won't hurt as much as it will losing Bambam. I know, because when it is Loopy's time, I am sure it will hurt much more.

Recently my blood brother/nephew who shares the same birth date, (not year) as me has been really quite nasty. Over the last half year, I've had enough of it and he has been having the same effect on me as my adopted family. I've nipped it in the bud. I've cut ties with him. He has done it to me before for no reason but I've had enough of his jibes and I just can't take it anymore. So I have cut him off just a week and a half ago. I keep cringing for what I have done, but I know it was the right thing.

Have you noticed how some of the other people are selfish? They have no understanding and just think of themselves. Everything is for them and they have no consideration for our feelings. Narcissistic people are best cut out for our own sanity but there is a price to pay for cutting them out.

 

[Concernedgal]

Hello guys. Thanks for the advice. As hard as its going to be.. these people are toxic and I must cut ties and try to move on without them. They never call and check on me or even care for me at all unless they want something. It's going to be a painful process. .. but, this has to be done. It will be best in the long run. But, I suppose the nm potential loneliness was a big part or me keeping them in my life in the first place, a hope that if I just keep telling them how hurt I am .. it would sink on and things would change. But, I know now that it won't so. I suppose this is it . I'mean about to go through with this. Wow. This is going to be hard.

 

[Concernedgal]

It's done. I've officially cut themy out of my life. They all know why. I hope I can stay strong and keep at my word because I know it's for the best in the long run.

 

[_Lukas]

I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that things continue to get better for you.

 

[janemariesayed]

It's done. I've officially cut themy out of my life. They all know why. I hope I can stay strong and keep at my word because I know it's for the best in the long run.

I am your family now Sis! You will never be alone. I am always here for you if you need to talk. What you have done shows amazing strength and I am really proud of you. Fingers crossed your anxieties get less and less now as you won't have so much stress and heartache to deal with. I hope your hubby is being supportive of you. Are you friendly with them, if so, they are your 'in laws' so you would at least still have some family?

Sending you hugs Sister, I know this time is hard for you.

 

[Concernedgal]

You guys have become my family. I can't tell you what it mean to me that i've found This place. I have felt more love and support here then I have ever had in my life. It kinda shocked me at first because I just wasn't used to it. But,now that I know what love and support feels like... now I also know what a family feels like.

 

[Rinka]

Hi @Concernedgal I'm sorry to read about your family situation. I have to agree with the other and say distance yourself from them. The thing with family is, that we are born into it, we can't choose them but we can choose to stay with them or to leave them. There are other people out there who will be a better family for you as they ever where.
You deserve to be loved and supported in your live. For your own sake leave them behind and start new.

 

[janemariesayed]

It will be hard at times. When birthdays come around for example. When that happens try to dismiss the thought from your mind. You have a strong mind and will power so you know you can get through this. Sending you hugs

 

[Concernedgal]

Thank you all so much. I love you guys. You have become the family I never had.