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People don't understand what depression is!

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Hi


I'd just like to share my view that things are made harder for us than they should be because people don't understand what depression is - but coming out with ignorant things like "snap out of it" it is almost like they think we chose to be this way. As if. Knowledge in this area is very lacking and it's sad.
 

AliciaH

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I'm not suffering from depression and you are right on. People don't understand it. I don't understand it. I hate hearing the comments from people saying just take a happy pill. You don't really understand it unless you are experiencing it.
 
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I totally agree. I can't remember the number of times people have said to me "chin up" or "you have to get on with things". I choose to ignore these people now. Whether it be a face to face conversation, text or email, as soon as i here them words i just stop conversation. I don't blame them for not understanding, i could never have imagined feeling like this before my problems started.


You have certainly come to the right place if you need to talk. Everyone is friendly and helpful :)
 
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People who have never experienced true depression can never fully understand but there are people who are just plain insensitive. Try and ignore them. However here is a good place to talk to people who do understand and who won't judge.
 
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Don't people just drive you mad! I've had severe depression many years and the only one's that understand are those that have been in the same situation. I've been told 'pick yourself up by your boot straps' 'be a little stronger' and 'there's nothing wrong with you' grrr. However, us mere mortals that have been there are now at an advantage..we will emerge stronger, kinder, wiser, more caring and more spiritual human beings...here's to us!!
 

Rayne

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I agree with all of you. Insensitive comments are totally off base. Sometimes I'd like to punch them in the nose and then say shake it off. The pain is all in your head. They just don't understand.
 
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Don't people just drive you mad! I've had severe depression many years and the only one's that understand are those that have been in the same situation. I've been told 'pick yourself up by your boot straps' 'be a little stronger' and 'there's nothing wrong with you' grrr. However' date=' us mere mortals that have been there are now at an advantage..we will emerge stronger, kinder, wiser, more caring and more spiritual human beings...here's to us!![/quote']
I second everything you have said. The worst thing that I hate is when people say to you 'pull yourself together' to me it's nothing more than an insult and an attempted put down. Like you say I also find that the only people who understand are the people who have been there themselves.
 
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Alex

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I've suffered from clinical depression for a decade, and now I am aware to make sure I don't relapse. What I don't like is when people don't take it seriously and suggest going for walks and exercising. If they knew how hard it was to get out of bed to even go to use the bathroom or to eat on some days they wouldn't suggest such things. There are days you can't get dressed, let alone make it outside to go for a walk or run, let alone go to the gym.


I wish people would support people more, and just listen and not push people. I remember one day I needed to be alone and my landlady insisted on coming in to talk to me when I was having a panic attack. When you say you need to be alone, you mean it and people need to respect that.
 

Piper

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I was diagnosed with mild depression several years ago. But, I do feel like I have gotten worse in the last couple of years. My mother was diagnosed with dementia and that has just been so hard for me to accept. I agree totally, if you have never been depressed, you have no idea how torturing it really is. Telling people who have depression to snap out of it makes as much sense as it would if I were to tell my mother to just stop having dementia.
 

justsayyes

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It's really sad that some people can be vile and extremely insensitive. If they only knew how hard it is to live through the day suffering with depression. They think you can just brush it off easily but that couldn't be farther from the truth. If they don't have first hand experience of things, it's best they just shut up about it. It makes them look ignorant.
 

Androlo

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Hi
I'd just like to share my view that things are made harder for us than they should be because people don't understand what depression is - but coming out with ignorant things like "snap out of it" it is almost like they think we chose to be this way. As if. Knowledge in this area is very lacking and it's sad.
I was literally just thinking about this myself. You're absolutely right. I think the majority of people definitely don't understand what depression really is. It's not just feeling down or depressed, it's so much more than that and it's not something you can just snap out of. I also disagree that the root cause of depression is chemical imbalances in the brain, although it is a factor. When it comes down to it, it's the experiences and emotions that you go through in life which make you who you are and which ultimately determines your state of mind and emotion and all too often many of those experiences are just way too deep and have gone on way too long to even be able to relate them to someone else - everyone's experience is unique, no-one else can truly understand how they got to where they are. The chemical imbalances are caused by our experience of life - dopamine is increase when we feel happy, serotonin is release when we feel love, etc. So, the root cause cannot be the chemical imbalance but the things in our lives which affect the relevant neurotransmitters.
 

amonda

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From what I have observed, I think people often times mistake sadness for depression. What people need to understand is that depression doe not have a quick fix remedy in the same way sadness may have. It's an actual condition and it's not something that is fun to be going through. Personally I do believe it is caused by chemical imbalances but the thing is, the human body is a very sensitive environment and I think that the experiences we go through and how we react to these experiences can trigger a change in our system causing a chemical imbalance. Like everything else in life, no one can really understand depression unless they actually experience it.
 
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The snap out of it mentality doesn't help at all, but even our depression is diverse enough that we can't understand the catalyst behind it all. Sure it helps to talk about it, but I quite often very alone with my depression. I know ...
 
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im wound up by these attitudes too.. fortunately charities are trying to encourage the government to educate people about mental illness.
 

vegito12

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I think it can be sad when the ones close to us don't understand it and even friends which can be hard for the person and sometimes there can be the past which can make you feel like if you could go back in time and fix things, which makes me feel sad sometimes as the mind has that memory in the back of the brain, and when that memory comes out it can take time to get rid of it and the person needs help from others to make the journey easy. The sad thing is in my country Fiji among Indian people it can be looked down or people tend to blame others or think the person did something to get the illness and in rural areas, it is viewed as a curse by witchcraft and instead of going to doctors people put faith in faith healers who just want money. I think that families need to have a better understanding of it as some people think the person is trying to hide from other problems and also in this day and age society still does not understand what depression is fully and will take time to fully understand it and the governments will need to do more to make sure the public knows what it is.
 

morgoodie

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Depression is one of those things that people just do not understand unless they go through it themselves. It is different for different people and people can have different symptoms. There is a lot of depression in my family and both of my kids have some form of it. I try to explain to people what type of symptoms there are besides just being sad. It is so much more than that and sometimes people can be angry and not sad in the sense that the general population think. I have had to talk to my kids' teachers and explain the symptoms that kids generally portray when they are depressed. They are surprised that someone so young can be depressed because what could they possibly have in their life to be depressed about. I just shake my head in exasperation sometimes at the ignorance of people. This type of condition is not talked about enough and people are so misinformed. They just make assumptions about what they think it is and are hard to get to change their perceptions.
 

janemariesayed

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The trouble is that mental illness was always shunned upon since the beginning of time. Sufferers would be thought to be possessed by demons and have to go to the priest to have them cast out.

The ancient Egyptians used to send their mentally ill patients to a Temple run by Imhotep Priests who used to give them herbal medicines to calm them down. They would spend the time being prayed over by the Priests until they got better which may have been never.

People have always made fun of people with mental illness. The men in the white van will come and take you away kind of fun making. Then there was Bedlam the hospital for the insane. George Boleyn (Ann's brother) was made a patron or Master of Bedlam and they even made fun of him in the Court just for being Patron.

Luckily, we have our two English Princes who are advocating mental illness now, so we may see a change over some years.
 

Concernedgal

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I see on tv how they try to portray depression. And although sometimes you may experience an inability to get out of bed .. that's not all there is to it. It's waking up everyday forced to put on a brave face and smile for your loved ones even though your crying on the inside. I just want to cry and and scream to the top of my lungs " i'm sad!!" Help me!!" But, when you finally admit to yourself that you need help and you seek out help the doctors don't seem to care. They barely listen to you and then give you ssri that dont work. What's hard is the feeling of empending doom that comes with the panic attacks. I will never understand why I can be fine 1 minute and the next I feel my heart pounding, my stomach feels odd and I feel like i'm going to faint. I can't travel longer than 15 minutes utes away from my home, I will literally pass out sometimes from the fear of the fear ( do you know what I mean by that?) The confusion of it is to me though is the loneliness and misunderstanding of the whole illness. Sure... your told the scientific reason for yoour depression, however, why though? I mean why me ? Why don't I have the ability to be happy?
 

janemariesayed

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I know what you mean about putting on a brave face. Having to act how others expect you to act. It is like living a lie, isn't it? I feel sometimes like I am screaming at the top of my lungs for help but finally, it seems like I'm going to get it. But I'm also screaming at the top of my lungs for the love of my mother but she can't hear me. She knows I was with the crisis team but she still hasn't bothered to call me.

It looks like the doctors here in the UK are more understanding than the ones you have over there in the US. But saying that, look at all the assessments I've had to finally get the therapy I deserve. Fingers crossed they do go through with the therapy this time. They are the only ones who do long term therapy, all the rest are agencies who only do 10 sessions and they won't treat me because I need more sessions than 10. I felt hopeless and in the end turned to the crisis team. Did you get in touch with them in your country? They are the ones who helped me in the end, maybe they could help you.
 

janemariesayed

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You don't have the ability to be happy @Concernedgal because you are not well. Sorry, but you are sick honey. You need help, you need therapy to get to the bottom of your panic attacks to find the reason for them, and you need to find the right pills to help you cope.

When we have something wrong with our womb and female area, we go and see a gynaecologist. When we have something wrong with our bones we go and see a specialist bone doctor. Being mentally ill is still an illness. We are not filled with demons and priests can't do anything for us. What we need are specialist doctors in our area of illness. there shouldn't be any shame in it, not in this day and age.
 
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