Overthinking

[Sage]

I'm new here.
I struggle immensely with overthinking. I've lost family and friends because of this. Relationships and people are what I overthink about. I worry I'll be hurt and try to find a way to know everything and control the outcome. Of course this destroys it.

I don't know how to stop it. I've tried several things suggested but have been unable to get it to stop. I want it to stop.

 

[triceps]

Hello and welcome Sage. What you describe was a constant battle for me for many, many years. A wise person told me to just live by the "Golden Rule" , try to be as natural and honest person as possible and not be concerned about what others might think of me. After much self reflection I was able to generally follow that advice and quit rehashing everything I could've done differently in every social encounter. I still have serious anxiety issues but am a happier person.

 

[Siphonophorae]

Hello and welcome Sage. What you describe was a constant battle for me for many, many years. A wise person told me to just live by the "Golden Rule" , try to be as natural and honest person as possible and not be concerned about what others might think of me. After much self reflection I was able to generally follow that advice and quit rehashing everything I could've done differently in every social encounter. I still have serious anxiety issues but am a happier person.

I agree! I too am cursed with overthinking, which makes it hard for me to understand simple things. Like a conversation even with someone close to me. I always try to see behind what they say and lose the fact that they mean what they say and they don’t have any feelings beyond that. Socially, in a group, I just avoid everyone for the first half of the time because I feel awkward. When I want to make contact with someone (a crush for instance) I feel even more awkward and then waste all of my time trying to decide what to say to them! It’s so much easier when someone else initiates the conversation, and I don’t have to do it.

 

[Sage]

I generally can do that in social settings. Mine is relationship related. I suffer from c-ptsd and struggle to

I agree! I too am cursed with overthinking, which makes it hard for me to understand simple things. Like a conversation even with someone close to me. I always try to see behind what they say and lose the fact that they mean what they say and they don’t have any feelings beyond that. Socially, in a group, I just avoid everyone for the first half of the time because I feel awkward. When I want to make contact with someone (a crush for instance) I feel even more awkward and then waste all of my time trying to decide what to say to them! It’s so much easier when someone else initiates the conversation, and I don’t have to do it.

Yes I have triggers also I hat cause me to shut down

 

[Joe diesel 09]

My anxiety is worst it's ever been in 24 yrs. Wound up in the er Sunday night over pvcs that would not stop. I mean one after another. Im married to a wonderful woman but our lives are so full of stress. At every turn. My job is relentless, my kids and her kids have a lot of issues. She suffers from anxiety too! I can feel hers and she can feel mine. Im afraid we feed off each other. Im 47 yrs old. Went through a nasty terrible divorce 3 yrs ago that drained me mentally, physically, and certainly financially. I met this woman and for a full year I had zero anxiety! None. For over a whole yr. Now it's relentless. Er visit after er visit since August of 18. I frequent the gym 3-4 nites a week, and when work allows, I work very late at nite. We love each other immensely but im wondering if our situation is bad for us and our health. I don't know what to do. But I feel like it's killing me slowly. The anxiety is too much. Her kids were raised differently than mine, and mine have their own problems too. I don't know what the future holds.

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

I think about things that bother me way too much. I often think about the fact that I can't go out and achieve a great career like many of my family members have, as my issues with mental illness prevent me from doing so.

Welcome, Sage.

 

[GNel80]

Hello Sage. I too, suffer from over-thinking. Its a part of us, or at least I believe it to be, that stems from needing control when there is none in regards to our environment. We "think" we need control, as a means to reduce anxiety. Through talking with a therapist, it helps to just calm your thoughts, and remember that no one can change events in this world. Not you, me, or anyone. Hope this helps. God bless, and good luck.