Overthinking

[Sage]

I'm new here.
I struggle immensely with overthinking. I've lost family and friends because of this. Relationships and people are what I overthink about. I worry I'll be hurt and try to find a way to know everything and control the outcome. Of course this destroys it.

I don't know how to stop it. I've tried several things suggested but have been unable to get it to stop. I want it to stop.

 

[triceps]

Hello and welcome Sage. What you describe was a constant battle for me for many, many years. A wise person told me to just live by the "Golden Rule" , try to be as natural and honest person as possible and not be concerned about what others might think of me. After much self reflection I was able to generally follow that advice and quit rehashing everything I could've done differently in every social encounter. I still have serious anxiety issues but am a happier person.

 

[Siphonophorae]

Hello and welcome Sage. What you describe was a constant battle for me for many, many years. A wise person told me to just live by the "Golden Rule" , try to be as natural and honest person as possible and not be concerned about what others might think of me. After much self reflection I was able to generally follow that advice and quit rehashing everything I could've done differently in every social encounter. I still have serious anxiety issues but am a happier person.

I agree! I too am cursed with overthinking, which makes it hard for me to understand simple things. Like a conversation even with someone close to me. I always try to see behind what they say and lose the fact that they mean what they say and they don’t have any feelings beyond that. Socially, in a group, I just avoid everyone for the first half of the time because I feel awkward. When I want to make contact with someone (a crush for instance) I feel even more awkward and then waste all of my time trying to decide what to say to them! It’s so much easier when someone else initiates the conversation, and I don’t have to do it.

 

[Sage]

I generally can do that in social settings. Mine is relationship related. I suffer from c-ptsd and struggle to

I agree! I too am cursed with overthinking, which makes it hard for me to understand simple things. Like a conversation even with someone close to me. I always try to see behind what they say and lose the fact that they mean what they say and they don’t have any feelings beyond that. Socially, in a group, I just avoid everyone for the first half of the time because I feel awkward. When I want to make contact with someone (a crush for instance) I feel even more awkward and then waste all of my time trying to decide what to say to them! It’s so much easier when someone else initiates the conversation, and I don’t have to do it.

Yes I have triggers also I hat cause me to shut down

 

[Joe diesel 09]

My anxiety is worst it's ever been in 24 yrs. Wound up in the er Sunday night over pvcs that would not stop. I mean one after another. Im married to a wonderful woman but our lives are so full of stress. At every turn. My job is relentless, my kids and her kids have a lot of issues. She suffers from anxiety too! I can feel hers and she can feel mine. Im afraid we feed off each other. Im 47 yrs old. Went through a nasty terrible divorce 3 yrs ago that drained me mentally, physically, and certainly financially. I met this woman and for a full year I had zero anxiety! None. For over a whole yr. Now it's relentless. Er visit after er visit since August of 18. I frequent the gym 3-4 nites a week, and when work allows, I work very late at nite. We love each other immensely but im wondering if our situation is bad for us and our health. I don't know what to do. But I feel like it's killing me slowly. The anxiety is too much. Her kids were raised differently than mine, and mine have their own problems too. I don't know what the future holds.

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

I think about things that bother me way too much. I often think about the fact that I can't go out and achieve a great career like many of my family members have, as my issues with mental illness prevent me from doing so.

Welcome, Sage.

 

[GNel80]

Hello Sage. I too, suffer from over-thinking. Its a part of us, or at least I believe it to be, that stems from needing control when there is none in regards to our environment. We "think" we need control, as a means to reduce anxiety. Through talking with a therapist, it helps to just calm your thoughts, and remember that no one can change events in this world. Not you, me, or anyone. Hope this helps. God bless, and good luck.

 

[unwind by music]

hello! music can have a profound effect on both the emotions and the body. Faster music can make you feel more alert and concentrate better. Upbeat music can make you feel more optimistic and positive about life. A slower tempo can quiet your mind and relax your muscles, making you feel soothed while releasing the stress of the day. Music is effective for relaxation and stress management.

Research confirms these personal experiences with music. Current findings indicate that music around 60 beats per minute can cause the brain to synchronize with the beat causing alpha brainwaves (frequencies from 8 - 14 hertz or cycles per second). This alpha brainwave is what is present when we are relaxed and conscious. To induce sleep (a delta brainwave of 5 hertz), a person may need to devote at least 45 minutes, in a relaxed position, listening to calming music. Researchers at Stanford University have said that "listening to music seems to be able to change brain functioning to the same extent as medication." They noted that music is something that almost anybody can access and makes it an easy stress reduction tool.

So what type of music reduces stress the best? A bit surprising is that Native American, Celtic, Indian stringed-instruments, drums, and flutes are very effective at relaxing the mind even when played moderately loud. Sounds of rain, thunder, and nature sounds may also be relaxing particularly when mixed with other music, such as light jazz, classical (the "largo" movement), and easy listening music. Since with music we are rarely told the beats per minute, how do you choose the relaxation music that is best for you? The answer partly rests with you: You must first like the music being played, and then it must relax you.
You could start by simply exploring the music on this youtube page. https://zee.gl/tE2zBP4

Some may relax you, some may not. Forcing yourself to listen to relaxation music that irritates you can create tension, not reduce it. If that happens, try looking for alternatives on the internet or consult with Counseling Service staff for other musical suggestions. It is important to remember that quieting your mind does not mean you will automatically feel sleepy. It means your brain and body are relaxed, and with your new calm self, you can then function at your best in many activities.
you can also find good music here also https://bit.ly/3elDsUL

 

[Joshua1]

I'm new here.
I struggle immensely with overthinking. I've lost family and friends because of this. Relationships and people are what I overthink about. I worry I'll be hurt and try to find a way to know everything and control the outcome. Of course this destroys it.

I don't know how to stop it. I've tried several things suggested but have been unable to get it to stop. I want it to stop.

My remedy is have a heart of gold, encased with steel. Gold is what it gives out and steel is what it takes in. Unfortunately, this world is full of hatred and bad choices. Negativity is rife in this world. You can counteract what goes on by letting people earn your trust, but at least leaving the door slightly open. You have to be ready and take the risk of having a broken heart. If you shut the door and lock it, it will be hard to form good fellowships.