I haven’t been here in a while. I try to sign in even when things are settled in myself to see if I can ever offer some support, but again it’s been a while. Anyways, I am freaking out about ovarian cancer. Most of my freak outs are precipitated by actual events, as is this one, but I tend to go over board. Yesterday I had debilitating pain in my lower left side. I went to urgent care where they figured it was kidney stones. Since it was late they told me they would set me up for a CT scan in the morning. After taking my blood I get up to leave and end up passing out on the street in front of urgent care. It was most likely from the combination of pain, low blood sugar, the heat in the office and the blood drawing. Although probably not related to kidney stones, it really threw me for a loop and kicked my anxiety into high gear. Not to mention embarrassing as strangers had to pick me up off a busy Brooklyn street. Anyway, went for a CT scan. Clean for kidney stones, but fluid and blood near pelvis indicating a ruptured ovarian cyst. After an ultrasound the doctor called said just a ruptured cyst. “Although there was some question as to if it was something else, I’m confident it was a cyst.” Of course I was too traumatized and the doctor was in a rush to get off the phone to ask to get more info. So now I’m freaking out that I have ovarian cancer. I did ask if I needed to do anything else and the doctor said, if your pain has gone away not really, but maybe follow up with Obgyn. I called the office but they haven’t gotten back to me about an appt. now I’m freaking out that I have ovarian cancer. I’ve been of course googling and although it’s rare for one thing to be related to another, I can’t get it out of my head. Now the pain comes back, not as sharp and I read that could happen for a few days. But I think it means that there is something wrong and then I hyper focus on it and the pain gets worse. I’ve been crying all day and I’m not sure I can even go to work tomorrow. I certainly can’t sleep. I have convinced myself it is full blown cancer with no real evidence to support that. I know it’s unlikely but I can’t stop the thoughts.