New To The Site...Currently Home Alone For The Next 2 Weeks & Super Anxious!

[Tacodamus]

Hello,

My name is Chance and I am new to the website.

My anxiety began after a heart arrhythmia diagnosis in 2005. Since then I've experienced countless emergency visits for my heart arrthymia and subsequent panic attacks from a result of health issues. I was okay for the first few years but something happened to my mind after a few years. I used to have a thriving social life but misdiagnosis, excruciating pain, and lack of understanding from some of my friends brought on anxiety. It has been an uphill battle to get my current place and reach some semblance of normal life.

Fast forward to 2019. I am happily married and managed to start a small online store selling foodie t-shirts because my anxiety and heart arrhythmia keep from doing a typical 9-5 job. I still deal with the dreaded "A" word aka anxiety. I'm able to drive, take smaller hikes, be social for small periods of time, etc. However, I still deal with GAD everyday and have a crippling fear of being alone when my spouse travels. Right now she is visiting her parents in Europe for the next two weeks. I feel overwhelmed, anxious, and have intermittent bouts of sadness.

My anxiety is a mixed bag. It's not all doom and gloom all the time. I experience joy, laughter, pain, sadness, adventure, etc. The anxiety is something that is in the background but becomes triggered when a) traveling b) being alone for an extended period of time c) in certain social situations.

I have my daily routine to get through the day but find myself going through the emotions. Would be great to hear from others who are feeling lonely and/or feeling anxious. What do you do?

 

[Grace360]

I usually keep myself busy. Busy, busy busy. And I'm not just doing that because I'm some teenager who needs constant entertainment. I do that because if I'm left alone with my thoughts, that's never good. I distract myself. Scrolling mindlessly, planning a party, painting, baking, video games.. anything. My anxiety, panic disorder, and major depressive make it really hard to "just do nothing". Slowly getting better. Therapy and all. It's just a process I have to take.

 

[triceps]

Hi Chance. Like you, I hate it when my wife leaves for any long period time. I don't like sleeping alone. It produces a break in routine. Any chance you have a pet? Our dog really helps me when I'm stuck alone. Are you the webmaster for your web retail site? When stuck alone I try to find something, a project I've been procrastinating on but one I can finish while she's gone. I can expect at least one horrible session of thinking I'm crazy while she's gone. So good luck. I truly, as a fellow GAD sufferer, understand what you're going through. How's it been going thus far? The only plus is that the food is better when she is gone.

 

[Tacodamus]

Hi Chance. Like you, I hate it when my wife leaves for any long period time. I don't like sleeping alone. It produces a break in routine. Any chance you have a pet? Our dog really helps me when I'm stuck alone. Are you the webmaster for your web retail site? When stuck alone I try to find something, a project I've been procrastinating on but one I can finish while she's gone. I can expect at least one horrible session of thinking I'm crazy while she's gone. So good luck. I truly, as a fellow GAD sufferer, understand what you're going through. How's it been going thus far? The only plus is that the food is better when she is gone.

Hi Triceps,

Thanks for checking in. It's been difficult so far. Some days are better than others. I've been dealing with anxiety and health issues for 10 years and at times the two intermix. Sometimes I wonder if the symptoms are anxiety or health.

Most of the time I have a daily routine. I'm lucky that I work from home which helps a lot. I get up early to check work emails and work for 6 hours. I take a break every 30 minutes to stretch and walk around. Otherwise, I get really jittery and stiff. I take an afternoon walk around the neighborhood. If it's too busy then I wait until the evening when the energy isn't so intense. I live in a major city and that part can be tricky. I try to play my drum set or guitar. Music therapy can be grounding. Evenings can be calmer depending on what I've eaten and if I have a bout of reflux.

Overall, I'm being practical and taking it a day at a time. If I feel anxiety coming on then I try my deep breathing technique. Self talk about being calm and focusing on something in my environment can help. At times none of these things work and I just wait it out.

Curious...You mentioned that the food is better when your wife is gone. Is your wife a picky eater or do you find yourself eating more random stuff?

 

[Tacodamus]

I usually keep myself busy. Busy, busy busy. And I'm not just doing that because I'm some teenager who needs constant entertainment. I do that because if I'm left alone with my thoughts, that's never good. I distract myself. Scrolling mindlessly, planning a party, painting, baking, video games.. anything. My anxiety, panic disorder, and major depressive make it really hard to "just do nothing". Slowly getting better. Therapy and all. It's just a process I have to take.

Hi Grace360,

Thanks for the reply. I agree that keeping busy is important. I have a routine that helps me a lot. It's tricky when the anxious thoughts sneak in though.

Thumbs up on your anxiety getting better. Any progress is something to proud of because anxiety can be physically and mentally exhausting.

 

[triceps]

Hi Triceps,

Thanks for checking in. It's been difficult so far. Some days are better than others. I've been dealing with anxiety and health issues for 10 years and at times the two intermix. Sometimes I wonder if the symptoms are anxiety or health.

Most of the time I have a daily routine. I'm lucky that I work from home which helps a lot. I get up early to check work emails and work for 6 hours. I take a break every 30 minutes to stretch and walk around. Otherwise, I get really jittery and stiff. I take an afternoon walk around the neighborhood. If it's too busy then I wait until the evening when the energy isn't so intense. I live in a major city and that part can be tricky. I try to play my drum set or guitar. Music therapy can be grounding. Evenings can be calmer depending on what I've eaten and if I have a bout of reflux.

Overall, I'm being practical and taking it a day at a time. If I feel anxiety coming on then I try my deep breathing technique. Self talk about being calm and focusing on something in my environment can help. At times none of these things work and I just wait it out.

Curious...You mentioned that the food is better when your wife is gone. Is your wife a picky eater or do you find yourself eating more random stuff?

Hi Tacodamas. No, it was a veiled shot at my wife's cooking aptitude. It's like my not being very mechanical so I limit how much of it I do and leave the rest to professionals. It's the worst of both worlds with my wifes' cooking. She really loves to cook but has absolutely no knack for it.

Sounds like you have some solid contingencies in place to deal with your different levels of anxiety. I hope the time alone goes by faster than expected for you.

 

[Tacodamus]

Hey triceps,

Ha! Well at least she has a passion for cooking. Too bad the passion didn't match the technical skill. Ever thought of taking a cooking class together? Also, a cooking class as a gift can be fun too.

 

[triceps]

Now Taco, think it through. She and I are 66 years old and now I bring up a cooking class? The ol' "Why, don't you like my cooking?" would be the first question I'd have to address and lie about. It's so bad that when we go to a pot luck affair, I'll have a minimum of five people asking me what my wife brought. And it's not that they're anxious to taste it.

 

[Tacodamus]

good point...The old adage, "you can't teach an old dog new tricks"...You're wife might divorce you on the spot if you admitted to disliking her food. Wowzers, I applaud your dutiful years of being a taste tester for not so tasty food;-)

 

[triceps]

She more than makes up for it by her understanding my anxiety as much as anyone could that hasn't experienced it.

 

[Tacodamus]

btw - I was joking about the divorce. Seriously, kudos to finding a woman that gets it and loves you. truly. so many people never find love at all.

 

[triceps]

I knew you were kidding. I truly am fortunate to have the wife that married me even with my anxiety. I'm pretty sure I had her at "I'm pretty nervous about this first date" which turned into three days, just had a blast.