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New member; same old feelings

Yayaceni11

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Feb 14, 2020
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Hello everyone!
I am new to this website and am so glad I found it. I have been dealing with anxiety my whole life but lately it has been out of control. It all started last month, I had gotten a couple UTI’s in a row and really worried it was something else. Around that same time I felt a small bump right under my ear lobe and started panicking. I had a friend who was a couple years younger then me pass away because of lymphoma and I was worried that small bump was the beginning. I went to the doctor multiple times and was told it was either a sebaceous cyst or a lymph node. This did not help and my health anxiety went through the roof. I thought I was really dying. I had panic attacks, trouble breathing, muscle and joint pain, and fatigue. I visited urgent care and every time I went I had labs drawn and was told everything is fine. I never had any imaging done so I am scared if they missed something. I am so tense my left shoulder and left side of neck always seem to hurt. I am currently taking Zoloft but I am not sure if it is helping. I don’t have an appointment to see a therapist until next month. I am so scared and even though I know it might be my health anxiety I can’t help but shake the thought of it being something else, something serious. I have a hard time talking to my family because they seem to be tired of my complaining. Has anyone experienced anything like this? At this point I just want some reassurance that I am not dying. Health anxiety is the worst. Googling every little symptom I have is also not helpful. Anyone have any tips on how to stop looking for answers on the internet?
 

kme3n7

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I am sure most of us have. I have gotten to the point where I just stay off the internet because that will take you from being worried into an absolute panic. Also blood tests won't pick up all cancers, but I am pretty sure I have had a doctor tell me that your WBC would be up if there was a lymphoma present.

HA is indeed the absolute worst. There are always small symptoms and I wonder that the fact that they are small means that it's just the beginning. A lot of the small symptoms are items that I wonder if I would ever even notice at all if I didn't have HA.
 

Bobnnat

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Hi Yaya,

Since lymphoma is a blood cancer, yes, there would be irregularities in a CBC, as there would be with leukemia. Also, think about this; if your doctor, or the ER doctors you've seen thought the bump was suspicious, they wouldn't just send you on your way. It would either be imaged, biopsied or at the least you'd be told to come back in say a month to let the doctor see it again. The doctors risk malpractice, lawsuits, fines and reputation issues when they fail to notice a serious sign/symptom.

Do doctors sometimes make such an error? Of course, it happens. But for every error (most of which have no serious affects), there are thousands of accurate diagnoses.

If you still are freaking out, I get it. That's the ugliness of HA. You might then see your GP again and just ask straight out..does this look like a suspicious node/lump to you? Does it have to be monitored, imaged, etc? Hopefully when you're told "no" you can trust your doctor and let this go. Trusting the doc, is a major step in the right direction for those of us with this mental illness.
 

Yayaceni11

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Thanks for your reply. My WBC was within normal range so I guess I can rule that out. I just get so worried and hyped up for every little thing. I just hope I can find a way to beat this HA. I feel like it has taken over my life!
 
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