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Need some help dealing with bad news

alwaysworried

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Hey guys. I really try not to post looking for reassurance but I'm having a bad time right now.

My pet back home is dying. It'll be any time now...matter of minutes or hours. I'm away at school so I can't be there to say goodbye. I am devastated, and anxiety makes this so much harder to deal with. Just now one of my family members called me and I thought "oh, this must be it" and my heart just started pounding - and I was terrified.

It's silly to feel scared of receiving news that I know is coming. I've been preparing for this all week. I'm just scared of what my body is going to do. I'm afraid that any little symptom will send me into a spiral, that I'm going to go crazy, that I won't be able to calm myself down, that I will die as well. I'm afraid of not being able to cope with this. And I feel so selfish for thinking about myself at a time like this.

I know I will get a rush of adrenaline. I know I will feel horrible. I know that these symptoms, while uncomfortable, can't hurt me. But it doesn't take away the absolute terror of experiencing them, especially alongside grief, and especially all alone.

If anyone has some kind words, recommendations for how to deal with the terror, or even just a funny story to help me smile it would me much appreciated.
Update: he passed a few minutes ago. So far I'm doing all right. I'm glad he's no longer suffering. Trying to just stay in the present moment and not worry too much about how I will feel tomorrow, or how my anxiety might be in the coming days. Right now he's all I can think about.
 
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smilingsoul

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Hi AW,
15 months ago, I lost my constant companion of the last 14 years, my American Eskimo dog Petunia. I had some of the same worries as you as I saw her declining. I've lost pets before (by the time you're 50 that's happened a fair few time), so that might have given me some perspective, but I was still very sad when I found her after she had passed. I sat with her and mourned for a while, and each of my family members (who were dealing with their own grief over it as well) just sat with me each for a while. I had a rush of adrenaline when I first saw her, and felt the crushing sadness of loss, but in the moment it was bearable and my worries about how I would handle it didn't come to pass.
Treasure the memories, and remember the depth of your grief can a measure of the importance of the relationship and is really a credit to you that you're able to make such a strong connection with a fellow creature.
 

imsotired

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omg this nearly made me cry. I have a old dog as well and I don't want him to die but every one dies one day... I don't know what advice to give you cus I am currently in a similar situation and I know tht when my dog passes I will be very sad and also I don't know what my body ill do- I might go into shock or be in a catatonic state. I am SOOO sorry I feel so bad for you just stay strong and remember that he/she is always looking down and watching out for you . don't forget one bay you will see her/him again. things I have been reading on the internet are to take care of your self-self care. It wont make the pain go away completely, but it will just help you cope. also I don't know if you see a therapist but if you do maybe try to see them more often or start seeing one if you don't. also I think that if you don't want them on you mind try and get rid things that remind you of them like but them maybe in storage or something. there is alo a lot of great videos on youtube that say how to cope with grief. hope this helps xoxoxo and again I am sooo sorry for your loss:( fly high to your dog
 

alwaysworried

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Thanks guys for all the kind words. I'm feeling a little numb today but otherwise ok. My family and I have been sharing our favorite memories of him and that helps. I can't explain how much I appreciate the replies!
 

imsotired

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Thanks guys for all the kind words. I'm feeling a little numb today but otherwise ok. My family and I have been sharing our favorite memories of him and that helps. I can't explain how much I appreciate the replies!
glad I could help! take care xo
 
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