alwaysworried
Member
- Joined
- May 23, 2018
- Messages
- 95
- Reaction score
- 33
Hey guys. I really try not to post looking for reassurance but I'm having a bad time right now.
My pet back home is dying. It'll be any time now...matter of minutes or hours. I'm away at school so I can't be there to say goodbye. I am devastated, and anxiety makes this so much harder to deal with. Just now one of my family members called me and I thought "oh, this must be it" and my heart just started pounding - and I was terrified.
It's silly to feel scared of receiving news that I know is coming. I've been preparing for this all week. I'm just scared of what my body is going to do. I'm afraid that any little symptom will send me into a spiral, that I'm going to go crazy, that I won't be able to calm myself down, that I will die as well. I'm afraid of not being able to cope with this. And I feel so selfish for thinking about myself at a time like this.
I know I will get a rush of adrenaline. I know I will feel horrible. I know that these symptoms, while uncomfortable, can't hurt me. But it doesn't take away the absolute terror of experiencing them, especially alongside grief, and especially all alone.
If anyone has some kind words, recommendations for how to deal with the terror, or even just a funny story to help me smile it would me much appreciated.
Update: he passed a few minutes ago. So far I'm doing all right. I'm glad he's no longer suffering. Trying to just stay in the present moment and not worry too much about how I will feel tomorrow, or how my anxiety might be in the coming days. Right now he's all I can think about.
My pet back home is dying. It'll be any time now...matter of minutes or hours. I'm away at school so I can't be there to say goodbye. I am devastated, and anxiety makes this so much harder to deal with. Just now one of my family members called me and I thought "oh, this must be it" and my heart just started pounding - and I was terrified.
It's silly to feel scared of receiving news that I know is coming. I've been preparing for this all week. I'm just scared of what my body is going to do. I'm afraid that any little symptom will send me into a spiral, that I'm going to go crazy, that I won't be able to calm myself down, that I will die as well. I'm afraid of not being able to cope with this. And I feel so selfish for thinking about myself at a time like this.
I know I will get a rush of adrenaline. I know I will feel horrible. I know that these symptoms, while uncomfortable, can't hurt me. But it doesn't take away the absolute terror of experiencing them, especially alongside grief, and especially all alone.
If anyone has some kind words, recommendations for how to deal with the terror, or even just a funny story to help me smile it would me much appreciated.
Update: he passed a few minutes ago. So far I'm doing all right. I'm glad he's no longer suffering. Trying to just stay in the present moment and not worry too much about how I will feel tomorrow, or how my anxiety might be in the coming days. Right now he's all I can think about.
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