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My parents are hypocrites over my body health

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Nov 17, 2022
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My mom will often spam call me over how much food I have because she doesn’t want to be out at night. I prefer to be awake at nights and sleep in the daytime because I do my school work better in the night and I can sleep without turning on any lights (I have a fear of the dark despite there being a night light in my bathroom). She will always ask me if I have enough food to eat, and when I tell her no, I have to be specific on what food I’m running low on. Then I get asked if I have enough for tonight (as if SHE knows more about my body than I do). If I tell her no, she’ll get all whiny and make me count my food. The most humiliating part of it is when she asks how many pieces of food I’m eating. When I tell her, her reaction every time is “that’s way too much for a little girl like you”.

It gets tiring. Here’s a background check for those who have many questions on their sleeve: I have a binge eating problem and I do not have a driver’s license despite me being over 18. I live in the woods (crappy roads) so there is massive limits on my decision-making, the nearest city from where I live is over 20 miles away. And whenever I try to practice my driving, my state says I am not allowed to practice without an adult with a license to train me. I have no friends. I have only my parents, and they are always putting pressure on me. They will repeat the same crap over and over again when I damn well what I’m doing, and it gets so aggravating I want to scream at them to shut up. My grandmother doesn’t have a driver’s license either but she didn’t really explain why, so I’m probably assuming she went through the same garbage I had to go through. I’m terrified of driving on roads because I have a constant fear of injury and death. My parents are strongly Christian and will shove the Bible down my throat over how I will go to hell if I don’t get right. Thanks mom and dad. I’ve moved out over a year ago but I still get spammed by them and I’m not allowed to cut off contact because they will know and they will lose their **** and force me to unblock them.

Back to my original subject, my parents induced so much irrational fear over my health and my body that it’s driving me crazy. Like I said, I have a binge eating problem, which I’ve gained quite a bit of weight from, and the main reason why is because the thoughts on my head shaming me for eating so much whenever I’m not eating is driving me crazy to the point where I have to go back and eat again to keep me from thinking that garbage. In short, food-shaming me is only going to make eat more. They will often fat shame me for whatever junk food I eat, yet ironically they try to make me eat when I’m not hungry. They will keep convincing me to eat when I keep telling them no. Eventually I have to shout at them to get them to actually listen. Then they’ll turn the tables on me and say that I’m being hateful.

This pisses me off how my parents will not listen to a damn thing I say and will be constantly selective and choose to believe I’m somehow in the wrong. And even worse, they’re totally fine with eating their hearts out without a single shame. But when I call them out, they’ll make every single goddamn excuse in the book over how they’re in the right and I’m in the wrong. I can’t stand it how I still rely on my parents yet I still have to because of my lack of self-esteem and capability. I usually get really exhausted mentally, yet my parents think it’s just my weight that’s making me tired. I will often have to take naps because of my struggle of actually trying to go to sleep in the “appropriate hours”. I’m so depressed all the damn time because of my parents bullshit, and even a small task can drag me down. My mother tried to force me to take medications for my “tantrums” without my permission, whenever she or dad starts a fight to get me upset. But it didn’t work. She would often link my “tantrums” with the fact that I didn’t take my medications. I thankfully stopped these medications sometime later even though my ignorant parents refuse to acknowledge the fact that my reactions have more to do with them than me.
 
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