Lost my job

[Toasthead]

I got let go today, they said I wasn’t the right fit for the job and because it’s been under 90 days since I got the job they don’t have to specify a reason. I feel like it’s my fault even though all my supervisors really liked me and said I was doing great. I hate myself so much right now. I’m afraid to tell my parents that I just lost my first full time job 2 months after I got it. I feel like a failure, I’m so scared right now. I don’t know what to do. My parents were so proud of me, for once in my life I didn’t feel like a disappointment and now I just don’t know what to do. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m just so out of sorts right now. I’m having a hard time calming down. I want to do everything and nothing at the same time. I want to put in 100 applications before breakfast, but I don’t feel like I can get out of bed tomorrow. I feel alone, but I’m surrounded by friends and loved ones. I’m a walking contradiction and I hate it.


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[Bobnnat]

Sorry for what happened Toast, but I’d be willing to bet that the vast majority of folks on this site have been in your situation. Three years ago I got called into my bosses office out of the blue. In walks a Human Resource rep and I’m quickly told that I’m being let go. I had 6 years at the company, and decades in the industry. And guess what? A year or two prior I was chosen for the Chairman’s award, one of like 35 employees out of 7,000 in the company! And I was doing the same quality work when I got fired. I was never told why.

I spent a week in disbelief. Very sad. Feeling like a failure. I then started sending out my resume. I got a temp. job. In about 2 months I got an offer. Good money and benefits. I took it. I was miserable there. It was indeed not a good fit for me or for them.

I called my wife and said I’m going to quit, even if I have to start from scratch. Literally as I was about to walk into my bosses office to quit, my cell rings. I was offered a job that I thought I’d never hear back from. I’m still there today.

So, welcome to Life 101. Things work out. Take the time to feel sad, angry and upset. But after a few days, start the process of looking for a new job even if all you want to do is lay in bed. I promise, you’ll look back on this as a learning experience, and end up in a better place, where you’re appreciated.

 

[Toasthead]

Sorry for what happened Toast, but I’d be willing to bet that the vast majority of folks on this site have been in your situation. Three years ago I got called into my bosses office out of the blue. In walks a Human Resource rep and I’m quickly told that I’m being let go. I had 6 years at the company, and decades in the industry. And guess what? A year or two prior I was chosen for the Chairman’s award, one of like 35 employees out of 7,000 in the company! And I was doing the same quality work when I got fired. I was never told why.

I spent a week in disbelief. Very sad. Feeling like a failure. I then started sending out my resume. I got a temp. job. In about 2 months I got an offer. Good money and benefits. I took it. I was miserable there. It was indeed not a good fit for me or for them.

I called my wife and said I’m going to quit, even if I have to start from scratch. Literally as I was about to walk into my bosses office to quit, my cell rings. I was offered a job that I thought I’d never hear back from. I’m still there today.

So, welcome to Life 101. Things work out. Take the time to feel sad, angry and upset. But after a few days, start the process of looking for a new job even if all you want to do is lay in bed. I promise, you’ll look back on this as a learning experience, and end up in a better place, where you’re appreciated.

Thanks that really helps. I’m just afraid I’ll be in this slump for a while. I’m afraid finding another job will take forever. Do you really think taking the next few days off to process and plan would be a good idea? My friend suggested the same, but I’m worried my parents will have a problem with that. I just feel so confused and emotionally exhausted. I haven’t felt this depressed in a long time.


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[Bobnnat]

Whenever people suffer a loss, be it the loss of a job or a health challenge for example, it’s normal and healthy to take a period of time to get your head together. It’s in my mind at least, unhealthy to hide the feelings and bury the emotions. The trick is to then force yourself to stop the pity party after a few days, maybe a week. This is about you, not your parents.

 

[Toasthead]

Whenever people suffer a loss, be it the loss of a job or a health challenge for example, it’s normal and healthy to take a period of time to get your head together. It’s in my mind at least, unhealthy to hide the feelings and bury the emotions. The trick is to then force yourself to stop the pity party after a few days, maybe a week. This is about you, not your parents.

But I still live with them, and my parents can be really harsh about this sort of thing. I’m terrified to even tell them. I’m afraid they’ll think it was my fault, and to some degree I feel like it is too. I feel like I just wasn’t good enough.


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[Bobnnat]

I’m sorry to hear that your parents are that way. No disrespect meant, but there’s a reason why so many people end up in therapy trying to undo the harm inflicted upon then by their parents. I saw that first hand with the parents ofnmy first wife. They destroyed her self esteem, and caused awful damage to her mental health.

 

[Toasthead]

I’m sorry to hear that your parents are that way. No disrespect meant, but there’s a reason why so many people end up in therapy trying to undo the harm inflicted upon then by their parents. I saw that first hand with the parents ofnmy first wife. They destroyed her self esteem, and caused awful damage to her mental health.

Actually I spoke to them today and they’re disappointed that I lost the job, but they’re not mad at me. We talked everything over and I have a month to either get another job or go back to school, I’m fine with either but I’d honestly prefer full time employment. They said as long as I am actively looking for a job and helping out around the house everything will be fine. I got a letter of recommendation from my supervisor and I’ve put in a ton of applications. I’m gonna try to commit to at least 5 applications a day. It’s doable number, but enough to make a significant difference. Every time I’ve committed to that number I’ve ended up with a job offer a month or so later. I have enough money to last a month and if that runs out I can do some odd jobs for my family, friends, and neighbors. My only worry is that I tend to lose focus on stuff like this and I usually end up getting distracted and dropping the ball. However, I think as long as I stay committed and don’t get too comfortable in the situation everything will be fine.


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