cmmann036
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2020
- Messages
- 8
- Reaction score
- 3
Hello! My name is Candi and I am the typical 34 year old woman. On the outside, things are the best they have ever been. I’m happily married to the best husband, my career is taking off, our kids are safe and healthy, we have a great group of amazing friends, and our home is full of laughter and memories. Life seems perfect!
Until the lights go out and my anxiety monster shows up. 15 years ago, I was a completely different person. I was addicted to Jack Daniels and there are times in my past that I can’t remember. It’s a flash memory, and I never like what I see.
I’m a huge music buff. I listen to music all day- everyday. I’ll lay in bed thinking of the great music I listened to, and sing in my head. Then I start to associate music to memories. That turns into when I heard that song for the first time. Then I start to remember the friends in my circle at the time. Then I start analyzing every social event I can remember in my head. What did I say? What did I do? Omg! Why did I do that?
I’ll start putting myself down and think I don’t deserve this life that I have because I’m an embarrassment. I’ll lay awake and harp on every social event for the past 15 years and think of every mistake I ever made. It’s now 5:00 am, my alarm goes off at 7:00 am. I have to wake up and act like my life is perfect again, and all I want to do is get rid of this anxiety demon. I don’t know how to forgive myself.
Until the lights go out and my anxiety monster shows up. 15 years ago, I was a completely different person. I was addicted to Jack Daniels and there are times in my past that I can’t remember. It’s a flash memory, and I never like what I see.
I’m a huge music buff. I listen to music all day- everyday. I’ll lay in bed thinking of the great music I listened to, and sing in my head. Then I start to associate music to memories. That turns into when I heard that song for the first time. Then I start to remember the friends in my circle at the time. Then I start analyzing every social event I can remember in my head. What did I say? What did I do? Omg! Why did I do that?
I’ll start putting myself down and think I don’t deserve this life that I have because I’m an embarrassment. I’ll lay awake and harp on every social event for the past 15 years and think of every mistake I ever made. It’s now 5:00 am, my alarm goes off at 7:00 am. I have to wake up and act like my life is perfect again, and all I want to do is get rid of this anxiety demon. I don’t know how to forgive myself.