Looking at health anxiety as OCD

[Iugrad91]

I’ve been listening to some podcasts on OCD and a few of them have specifically talked about health anxiety. One interesting thing I’ve heard repeatedly is that with OCD, our fears really have nothing to do with the subtype of OCD (it’s not about our health, for contamination OCD it’s not about a fear of germs/dirt, etc) but it’s a greater fear than that. Heath anxiety sufferers are afraid of the unknown, the future where we don’t have control of what might happen, a fear of uncertainty, fear of death. So we try to do everything we can to eliminate that fear. Our compulsions aren’t hand washing or checking things over and over, they are ruminating, seeking reassurance, avoidance of doing certain things or seeing doctors (or multiple doctor visits for the same thing), googling, etc.

When we do those things we are telling our brain that the thing that triggered us is indeed something to fear and it needs to do work (compulsions) to eliminate the issue. It’s an impossible task,
We cannot answer any question about the future with 100% certainty. Learning to live with that uncertainty and not giving in to the compulsions that we think are necessary to keep us “safe” is the way out of the vicious cycle of anxiety. We can’t stop the initial intrusive thought, but we can stop doing all the things that perpetuate the anxiety after that.

We have to change the process and ignore the content of our worry cycle. I started with these podcast episodes on rumination and went on to listen to others by her guests and am slowly working on changing my perspective about my anxiety. It’s not easy but I don’t want to go on like this any longer so I had to start somewhere!

The episodes on rumination start at #282 if anyone is interested. I’ve also listened to Jenna Overbaugh’s podcast called All the Hard Things which is very good.

Podcast Archives - Therapy & Counseling for OCD & Eating Disorders

kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com

 

[okeedoco]

Thank you for this... I'm going to check it out - having a bad run of it at the moment. Catastrophic thinking has become a sadistic habit.

Here's how I visualize this HA ****: I feel like I'm sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of a house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere with a shotgun on my lap, constantly scanning the horizon for the approach of cancer/ALS/brain aneurysm/disorder of the week - kinda like a bad western (lol); meanwhile, there's a party going on in my house that I'm missing - with all my favorite people and things, laughing and having the best time - all because I'm "being vigilant" waiting for the offending disease to come over the hill... It's gonna come and it's gonna be more than I can handle with my one line of defense and I'm going to DIE... I keep telling myself to stop - go back inside and stop looking out thru the blinds - enjoy this party that is LIFE with my friends and family who are oblivious to these potential invaders and obviously having a fantastic time. But I can't relax, can't enjoy myself, and soon I'm back on the porch with my gun, rocking my life away in fear of impending death. Then I pretend my best friend (who can generally talk sense into me) comes out and tells me to get my ass inside and stop the nonsense... and that works for awhile... but then I slip out and take my seat on the porch again. This whole scenario seems absolutely pathetic to me but I can't make it stop. I am 57 years old and HA has been a thing with me since I was a child - but it's getting worse as I get older because, of course, I'm getting older and all those nasty things are just milling at some invisible gate, waiting to get to me.

Does anyone else actually do this? I thought by making it a scenario, it might help me see the ridiculousness in being constantly on guard but it hasn't stopped the fear of what's coming over the hill. And it's mentally EXHAUUUUUSTING.

 

[SB2017]

Thank you for this... I'm going to check it out - having a bad run of it at the moment. Catastrophic thinking has become a sadistic habit.

Here's how I visualize this HA ****: I feel like I'm sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of a house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere with a shotgun on my lap, constantly scanning the horizon for the approach of cancer/ALS/brain aneurysm/disorder of the week - kinda like a bad western (lol); meanwhile, there's a party going on in my house that I'm missing - with all my favorite people and things, laughing and having the best time - all because I'm "being vigilant" waiting for the offending disease to come over the hill... It's gonna come and it's gonna be more than I can handle with my one line of defense and I'm going to DIE... I keep telling myself to stop - go back inside and stop looking out thru the blinds - enjoy this party that is LIFE with my friends and family who are oblivious to these potential invaders and obviously having a fantastic time. But I can't relax, can't enjoy myself, and soon I'm back on the porch with my gun, rocking my life away in fear of impending death. Then I pretend my best friend (who can generally talk sense into me) comes out and tells me to get my ass inside and stop the nonsense... and that works for awhile... but then I slip out and take my seat on the porch again. This whole scenario seems absolutely pathetic to me but I can't make it stop. I am 57 years old and HA has been a thing with me since I was a child - but it's getting worse as I get older because, of course, I'm getting older and all those nasty things are just milling at some invisible gate, waiting to get to me.

Does anyone else actually do this? I thought by making it a scenario, it might help me see the ridiculousness in being constantly on guard but it hasn't stopped the fear of what's coming over the hill. And it's mentally EXHAUUUUUSTING.

Wow. I felt this. That scenario amazingly describes how I feel as an HA sufferer.

 

[okeedoco]

Wow. I felt this. That scenario amazingly describes how I feel as an HA sufferer.

It's nice to know I'm not alone... When I come on here and read others' posts and I see my fears in theirs, I don't feel so isolated. I'm so sorry anyone has to deal with this. Thanks.

 

[Iugrad91]

Totally relate to that, but you have to remember that what we are doing doesn’t actually keep any of that stuff from happening. And many on this board AVOID doctors because of anxiety. So all the suffering we inflict on ourselves because of anxiety and missing out on the party inside is making us miserable. You gotta go inside and enjoy the party and not go out on the porch anymore unless it’s to enjoy the sunrise.

 

[okeedoco]

Totally relate to that, but you have to remember that what we are doing doesn’t actually keep any of that stuff from happening. And many on this board AVOID doctors because of anxiety. So all the suffering we inflict on ourselves because of anxiety and missing out on the party inside is making us miserable. You gotta go inside and enjoy the party and not go out on the porch anymore unless it’s to enjoy the sunrise.

I am one of those people - I'm currently trying to get up the nerve just to go back to my PCP for bloodwork so I can get more Lexapro, which HELPS me keep a lot of this in check. And then my friends talk about getting their regular screenings and ask when I'm going to get mine, to which I bristle and almost pass out at the very thought. I know what I have to do, it just take me so long to work up the courage to do it and I feel like a piece of ****.

 

[Beautiful Disaster]

I’ve been listening to some podcasts on OCD and a few of them have specifically talked about health anxiety. One interesting thing I’ve heard repeatedly is that with OCD, our fears really have nothing to do with the subtype of OCD (it’s not about our health, for contamination OCD it’s not about a fear of germs/dirt, etc) but it’s a greater fear than that. Heath anxiety sufferers are afraid of the unknown, the future where we don’t have control of what might happen, a fear of uncertainty, fear of death. So we try to do everything we can to eliminate that fear. Our compulsions aren’t hand washing or checking things over and over, they are ruminating, seeking reassurance, avoidance of doing certain things or seeing doctors (or multiple doctor visits for the same thing), googling, etc.

When we do those things we are telling our brain that the thing that triggered us is indeed something to fear and it needs to do work (compulsions) to eliminate the issue. It’s an impossible task,
We cannot answer any question about the future with 100% certainty. Learning to live with that uncertainty and not giving in to the compulsions that we think are necessary to keep us “safe” is the way out of the vicious cycle of anxiety. We can’t stop the initial intrusive thought, but we can stop doing all the things that perpetuate the anxiety after that.

We have to change the process and ignore the content of our worry cycle. I started with these podcast episodes on rumination and went on to listen to others by her guests and am slowly working on changing my perspective about my anxiety. It’s not easy but I don’t want to go on like this any longer so I had to start somewhere!

The episodes on rumination start at #282 if anyone is interested. I’ve also listened to Jenna Overbaugh’s podcast called All the Hard Things which is very good.

Podcast Archives - Therapy & Counseling for OCD & Eating Disorders

kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com

This is a really great summary. I couldn’t agree more with what you wrote. It took a therapist to help me get past all of the rumination and reassurance seeking and OCD/HA habits. They were just responses and habits to childhood stuff that was never processed. Stuff my mind and body was holding onto. And until that stuff was addressed and reprocessed in therapy, I could not outthink it nor could I really stop myself from doing or thinking those habits. It was automatic- the checking, the reassurance seeking, the standing guard, all of it. It wasn’t anything acceptance alone could help me with. Now, after reprocessing everything, now I can work with acceptance, and that kind of anxiety is practically nonexistent now. But 100 percent, HA is a form of OCD. And every time we respond to it- go checking, ask for reassurance, run to a dr, etc, we create these tracks in our brains and we keep easily defaulting to them. Then they turn into habits. And it’s hard to try to be ok with uncertainty when you truly don’t feel like things are safe in your mind and body. That’s where a therapist comes in to help you reprocess all of the things that have caused you to feel unsafe. As you truly feel safer, you find you don’t need the checking and reassurance seeking and standing guard behaviors anymore.

 

[Lanchparty7]

Thank you for this... I'm going to check it out - having a bad run of it at the moment. Catastrophic thinking has become a sadistic habit.

Here's how I visualize this HA ****: I feel like I'm sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of a house out in the middle of a beautiful nowhere with a shotgun on my lap, constantly scanning the horizon for the approach of cancer/ALS/brain aneurysm/disorder of the week - kinda like a bad western (lol); meanwhile, there's a party going on in my house that I'm missing - with all my favorite people and things, laughing and having the best time - all because I'm "being vigilant" waiting for the offending disease to come over the hill... It's gonna come and it's gonna be more than I can handle with my one line of defense and I'm going to DIE... I keep telling myself to stop - go back inside and stop looking out thru the blinds - enjoy this party that is LIFE with my friends and family who are oblivious to these potential invaders and obviously having a fantastic time. But I can't relax, can't enjoy myself, and soon I'm back on the porch with my gun, rocking my life away in fear of impending death. Then I pretend my best friend (who can generally talk sense into me) comes out and tells me to get my ass inside and stop the nonsense... and that works for awhile... but then I slip out and take my seat on the porch again. This whole scenario seems absolutely pathetic to me but I can't make it stop. I am 57 years old and HA has been a thing with me since I was a child - but it's getting worse as I get older because, of course, I'm getting older and all those nasty things are just milling at some invisible gate, waiting to get to me.

Does anyone else actually do this? I thought by making it a scenario, it might help me see the ridiculousness in being constantly on guard but it hasn't stopped the fear of what's coming over the hill. And it's mentally EXHAUUUUUSTING.

I can so relate. I’m currently enduring one of my worst episodes ever for several months now. I’m miserable.