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Loneliness and isolation

jmarspi

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I know I'm not the only one, but I feel an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and isolation. Nobody ever calls me, not even my mom, or any family. I have no friends here; I only have one and she lives a thousand miles away. I do live with my partner, but they work from home stuck in the office all day. I run errands and take care of the house. I don't have a social life with friends or even acquaintances. I kind of just accepted that feeling of loneliness and dread. I feel empty inside, I wish I didn't care what people think, I wish I could stop taking things so personally. I wish I could react differently when people don't want to hang out, or when my chances of making a friend disappear. I wish I could be extroverted with a healthy self-esteem. I love to laugh and joke around, and I wish I had a friend to go shopping with or have as a workout buddy. I was happy once, idk what happened.
 

Jonathan123

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I know I'm not the only one, but I feel an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and isolation. Nobody ever calls me, not even my mom, or any family. I have no friends here; I only have one and she lives a thousand miles away. I do live with my partner, but they work from home stuck in the office all day. I run errands and take care of the house. I don't have a social life with friends or even acquaintances. I kind of just accepted that feeling of loneliness and dread. I feel empty inside, I wish I didn't care what people think, I wish I could stop taking things so personally. I wish I could react differently when people don't want to hang out, or when my chances of making a friend disappear. I wish I could be extroverted with a healthy self-esteem. I love to laugh and joke around, and I wish I had a friend to go shopping with or have as a workout buddy. I was happy once, idk what happened.
What happened is that you have become introspective, self centred. This is NOT being selfish because, in anxiety, it's invariably what happens. Where we used to turn outward now we turn inward so that our world seems to become smaller and smaller. Feelings and emotions can become so strong they virtually take over so that our days are filled with introspective thoughts about our health or our social circumstances. We can feel 'empty inside' as if there is vacuum where healthy thought used to be. At this stage self worth can take a hard knock so that we believe we are not worth bothering about and that no one wants us or loves us. What to do about it? Anxiety always passes if we acknowledge the fact that that is what it is and accept it as such. 'What people think'. Does it really matter what they think? If we feel good in ourselves and know we are doing good things, then let them think what they like. You are not at the mercy of other people whims or decisions, you make your own.
Sinking into the rabbit hole is easy, coming out is not. But it can be done given the will. Accept how you feel for the moment. You won't always feel this way. Honest! Give yourself space and time. Be kind to yourself as well as others. Stop putting yourself down.
 

MATD

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I wholly agree with Jonathan. Having anxiety myself, I can fully see how his post reflects exactly how I have felt. Stepping out of this mindset is not easy, but then anything we want to achieve requires work and effort on our part. Fear of what other’s think of us is a big deterrent, and that’s just our own self doubt coming into play. We have to be willing to step out regardless of this doubt or else we will be held captive by doubt and fear. Our own demeanor can be a deterrent to making friends, Start out by slapping a smile on your face when you are out and about, whether you feel it or not. Make small talk about neutral subjects like the weather when standing in the checkout line. Don’t expect to be reciprocated by everyone, because you won’t. Just do your best without any expectations from others. You will be surprised at how much this will help you feel better about yourself and be an encouragement. I started out this way to overcome my own social anxiety. Little steps can grow into leaps with time and practice.
 

Logan01

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Hi jmarspi, I understand where you’re coming from and experience similar feelings myself.

Lately, I have a lot of alone time during the weekends. Many of my friends travel or stay out of town during the weekends and it’s difficult to plan activities with them at times. My big weekend highlights or often just going to the grocery store and doing a load of laundry, along with other tedious chores around the house. Weekends are hard because I had more activities during weekends at college. Now as an adult, weekends are for “adulting” and recovering from my 9 to 5. I am thankful to be working nevertheless.

There are quiet moments I feel really lonely and sad at times. Like you, I’m feeling isolated and miss it when my buddies text or message me. I also spend a lot of time ruminating about my new work week and worrying (especially on Sundays) about the following Monday. I miss weekends when I was in college. I don’t miss the studying and homework, but I do miss the social interactions with my family and friends.

I’m slowly adjusting to this new chapter in my life. Lately, I’ve tried to be more active on the weekends and not sit idle and fret about my week coming up or other issues. It’s a big adjustment graduating and now fending for myself and I admit I panic and feel overwhelmed by it sometimes.
 

AuntieDee

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You are not alone, I would guess that most anxiety sufferers have felt or do feel this way. Speaking for myself, I felt that way most of my life and still do once and awhile. In hindsight I wish I knew then what I know now, but you cannot dwell on the past. It helps to stay in the present, in the moment so to speak. Look at what you wish yr life to be and try to find ways to make that happen. Get a part time job, volunteer at something that speaks to your passions, take some classes, join yr local library, take up a hobby, look for local groups you might be interested in. And if need be, find local resources or group therapy that will help you. There are hundreds of ways to make changes, wishing for them isn’t going to do anything. Doing will. Start small, so you are not overwhelmed. Do it for yourself, don’t do things with the need to make friends etc, just do it for yourself, the friends may or may not follow. One of the biggest realizations I had was when I adjusted my thoughts and took the advice that I cannot control what others think of me. And that it doesn’t matter what others think, only that I am walking the path that feels right to me. Am I totally anxiety free, no, but at least now I can cope and manage. Do I still have “bad” days, yes I do, but I have found ways to help get over the hump and not let it devastate me. Change yr mindset and the rest will follow.
 

Logan01

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It’s the principle of anxiety that also makes me feel alone and isolated. For example: I think to myself why can my friend and my brother go into work each morning with our crying and having an anxiety attack in the car on the way in? My anxiety makes me feel so stupid and embarrassed because I’ve never known people I know to deal with it.

I’m alone some evenings after work and most weekends. My parents have moved further away to a mountain home and I don’t see them as often as I used to. It’s difficult now that some of my friends are married and live 2 states away to do the things we used to. I truly feel alone and fully accountable for myself for the 1st time ever. It’s empowering and terrifying at the same time.

The things I miss most about college is the community, friendships, Christian life groups (FCA College Life/Young Life) and other weekly routine activities. I don’t miss the studying and paper writing. I found my niche and a great group of friends at school and now everyone has gone their separate ways. It was over too fast :confused:
 

PieFan

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It’s the principle of anxiety that also makes me feel alone and isolated. For example: I think to myself why can my friend and my brother go into work each morning with our crying and having an anxiety attack in the car on the way in? My anxiety makes me feel so stupid and embarrassed because I’ve never known people I know to deal with it.

I’m alone some evenings after work and most weekends. My parents have moved further away to a mountain home and I don’t see them as often as I used to. It’s difficult now that some of my friends are married and live 2 states away to do the things we used to. I truly feel alone and fully accountable for myself for the 1st time ever. It’s empowering and terrifying at the same time.

The things I miss most about college is the community, friendships, Christian life groups (FCA College Life/Young Life) and other weekly routine activities. I don’t miss the studying and paper writing. I found my niche and a great group of friends at school and now everyone has gone their separate ways. It was over too fast :confused:
you will make new friends as you do new things. ((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))) sending love.
 
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