Loneliness and isolation

[jmarspi]

I know I'm not the only one, but I feel an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and isolation. Nobody ever calls me, not even my mom, or any family. I have no friends here; I only have one and she lives a thousand miles away. I do live with my partner, but they work from home stuck in the office all day. I run errands and take care of the house. I don't have a social life with friends or even acquaintances. I kind of just accepted that feeling of loneliness and dread. I feel empty inside, I wish I didn't care what people think, I wish I could stop taking things so personally. I wish I could react differently when people don't want to hang out, or when my chances of making a friend disappear. I wish I could be extroverted with a healthy self-esteem. I love to laugh and joke around, and I wish I had a friend to go shopping with or have as a workout buddy. I was happy once, idk what happened.

 

[Jonathan123]

I know I'm not the only one, but I feel an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and isolation. Nobody ever calls me, not even my mom, or any family. I have no friends here; I only have one and she lives a thousand miles away. I do live with my partner, but they work from home stuck in the office all day. I run errands and take care of the house. I don't have a social life with friends or even acquaintances. I kind of just accepted that feeling of loneliness and dread. I feel empty inside, I wish I didn't care what people think, I wish I could stop taking things so personally. I wish I could react differently when people don't want to hang out, or when my chances of making a friend disappear. I wish I could be extroverted with a healthy self-esteem. I love to laugh and joke around, and I wish I had a friend to go shopping with or have as a workout buddy. I was happy once, idk what happened.

What happened is that you have become introspective, self centred. This is NOT being selfish because, in anxiety, it's invariably what happens. Where we used to turn outward now we turn inward so that our world seems to become smaller and smaller. Feelings and emotions can become so strong they virtually take over so that our days are filled with introspective thoughts about our health or our social circumstances. We can feel 'empty inside' as if there is vacuum where healthy thought used to be. At this stage self worth can take a hard knock so that we believe we are not worth bothering about and that no one wants us or loves us. What to do about it? Anxiety always passes if we acknowledge the fact that that is what it is and accept it as such. 'What people think'. Does it really matter what they think? If we feel good in ourselves and know we are doing good things, then let them think what they like. You are not at the mercy of other people whims or decisions, you make your own.
Sinking into the rabbit hole is easy, coming out is not. But it can be done given the will. Accept how you feel for the moment. You won't always feel this way. Honest! Give yourself space and time. Be kind to yourself as well as others. Stop putting yourself down.

 

[MATD]

I wholly agree with Jonathan. Having anxiety myself, I can fully see how his post reflects exactly how I have felt. Stepping out of this mindset is not easy, but then anything we want to achieve requires work and effort on our part. Fear of what other’s think of us is a big deterrent, and that’s just our own self doubt coming into play. We have to be willing to step out regardless of this doubt or else we will be held captive by doubt and fear. Our own demeanor can be a deterrent to making friends, Start out by slapping a smile on your face when you are out and about, whether you feel it or not. Make small talk about neutral subjects like the weather when standing in the checkout line. Don’t expect to be reciprocated by everyone, because you won’t. Just do your best without any expectations from others. You will be surprised at how much this will help you feel better about yourself and be an encouragement. I started out this way to overcome my own social anxiety. Little steps can grow into leaps with time and practice.