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Just saying Hi

bigjetplane23

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May 31, 2022
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How are you doing, @bigjetplane23 ? :) I’m doing pretty well. Hope all of you are, too!
I’m ok. Kind of edge, like always. But when aren’t I? Lol.
Did you send this at 3:14 am? That’s nice of you to think of us when you can’t sleep.
Most definitely. I always like to know how my community is doing. I care about all of you; as I know you guys care of me.
 

Sweet T

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Dec 16, 2019
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I’m ok. Kind of edge, like always. But when aren’t I? Lol.

Most definitely. I always like to know how my community is doing. I care about all of you; as I know you guys care of me.
I’ll bet lots of us are up at that time of night. Just part of anxiety for me.
 

okeedoco

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Jun 2, 2021
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I want to thank you all for this very helpful post... As I've posted before, I've had health anxiety since I was a child, less than 10 - I was consumed with fears of getting a brain tumor. My parents were divorced and I was raised by my father's parents (old-school, definitely not the warm and fuzzy type). My mother, who was a lovely, intelligent person but bipolar, was mostly out of my life. My father worked in the city and was only home on weekends and he had some real hang-ups about doctors. A funny story I like to tell is, one night when I was about 11, my Dad and I were watching the movie "Brian's Song" (I'm 57 - anyone who grew up in the U.S. in the 1970s remembers that tale about Brian Piccolo, the Chicago Bears football player who develops cancer and dies) and for some reason I scratched my little bitty bird chest and found a lump under one of my nipples... I was terrified - the movie certainly didn't help - my Dad was scared, my grandmother got called in to check it out - next thing I know, I'm off to the pediatrician. I am sure I'm dying... Turns out, it was a "breast bud" - a precursor of things to come! ;) I'm sure if there'd been a warm and comforting female around, the situation wouldn't have been so traumatic.

As a young adult, early 30s, I was having random heart "flutters" that, looking back, were probably the result of hormones or just too much coffee... Anxious me though, schedules an appointment with my PCP to have it checked out... As I'm waiting in the little room they stuff you into after taking your vitals, I started having some flutters and a panic attack ensued. My doctor (Dr. A - middle-aged male) came in, asked me what I was so upset about and I shrieked "I'm afraid I'm dying!" He said, "Dieting?? You should be dieting!" (I've always been the curvaceous type but I certainly wasn't heavy). He hooked me up to the EKG and I guess everything was pretty normal but he still decided to schedule me for a full, baseline heart check using all the fancy bells and whistles, the treadmill test, x-rays with the contrast dye, even some crazy machine that would fly around you and take pictures of your arteries, etc.

A few weeks later I went back to Dr. A for a follow-up... Last appointment of the day and then I had to wait for over an hour in the little room again. He comes in, runs down my chart listing off everything, "fine, okay" until he gets to the VERY LAST item where he says, NO LIE, as casual as if he were giving me the time of day - "Oh, BTW you might have a heart blockage." HEART BLOCKAGE???!!! WTF??!!! :eek: He tells me I should follow-up with a cardiologist and was there anything else he could do for me? I had been seeing this man for a few years and he was well aware of my anxiety issues - he'd prescribed me Lexapro a couple weeks before. I asked if it was possible I might fall out on the street as soon as I walked out the door - he said he didn't think so, prescribed me some Xanax and then see ya!

A couple weeks after THAT, I finally got an appointment with the cardiologist, who was actually pretty wonderful. He did another EKG and then told me how frustrated he was that PCP were now pushing patients to him that really had no business being seen. He looked at my results and told me he truly didn't think I had a heart blockage; what was more likely was "breast attenuation(sp?)"... a common occurrence when certain areas of the films don't show up clear on women with boobs on the, ahem, larger size. :D I've never had any problems other than an occasional palpitation since and hope it continues that way.

I never went back to Dr. A again. And I've never found another doctor I've really been able to trust. I see a female PA now and she's really good but a little pushy when it comes to scheduling all the extras. Here's the thing: I CAN'T do invasive tests... I can't live my life in constant frozen fear about what they may or may not find. I don't want to be a guinea pig for them to use to pay off their fancy new equipment. I'm extremely skeptical - probably more cynical by now - of the entire medical community. My friends are always running off to doctors for the most basic things (colds, splinters, etc.) and chide me for not being more on top of things. I thought it was just me, the hypochondriac who instead of running to doctors, avoids them like the plague. It's comforting to know there are others like me out there, living lives on their terms, away from the constant barrage of medical testing.

Thanks for sticking with this to the end... I guess I didn't realize how I needed to get that off my rather large chest! lol... I wish you all peace and good health. :)
 

Bry

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Nov 28, 2022
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I can’t stand going to the doctor!!! For years I was told all these horrible things wrong with me, sent around in circles to doctors I didn’t know. I must have sucker written all over me, cause now I believe it was all for money.
I have a decent doctor now, who just does the normal check ups with me. I feel much better now, but there is usually something that always arises from a visit. If I’m not sick, I just about refuse to do anything for the doctors- I have been damaged for life from doctors. If they threaten to take away my gad meds, then there’s plenty of online places that will prescribe them.
 
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