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Just need some support. Very rough patch.

chickentender

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My friend was committed last month for a psychotic break. That never happened to her before. They released her after a few weeks, but she was in very bad shape still upon release. Once home, she had to return to the hospital for medical issues related to inability to care for herself resulting from the rest of what she is dealing with. Anytime I speak with her, it is so disturbing that I have insomnia for 2 days afterward due to high stress and anxiety.
She has her phone on her so far during this current hospital admission and she is texting me words that don't exist and things that don't make sense.
I am so tired from stress and insomnia. I can't sleep again tonight. I'm not sure what to do. I am getting constantly triggered now by this because of the texts.
 

Bobnnat

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Wow Tender, that IS rough. First, you are not her. What she is sadly going through has nothing to do with you, other than of course you care because she’s your friend.

All I can do is try to put myself in your place and tell you what I would do. It may sound selfish, but I regularly tell myself that I am my own best friend. No one can look after my best interests more so than me. As such, I would have to temporarily step away from her. She is under medical care and hopefully she will eventually gain some normality in her life through treatment and/or medication. But for now, she is likely not even aware, or not fully aware that you are there, at least not in a reality way, if that makes sense-it’s hard for me to express.

But likely neither you nor she are getting any “value” out of your communications at this time. She’s likely under strong meds as well. I myself would have to take a break in our communications. Perhaps if you do that, let her nurse know the situation in case that might matter to your friend, but I doubt it.

Good luck. Don’t torture yourself at this time, where there appears to be no benefit in your doing so, and there certainly is much distress.

Bob
 

Hooligan1214

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When it comes down to it, you can't be a good friend or support person until you are in a better head space. You need a break, regain your own level of comfort and sanity, and then maybe you can try to be a support for her again. I'm so sorry this is happening to your friend and I hope she finds some stability and solace soon, but you can't help anyone before helping yourself. Be kind to yourself!
 

chickentender

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Thank you both. The thing is, I get in a good headspace, talk to her again and then it spikes my anxiety.
It's hard to unplug from it completely when I have the strange texts coming in to my phone.
 

JLD

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The others are right. You cannot help your friend right now and the messages coming from her are hurting you. Unplug for a while and get well yourself. Even if you were 100%, you could not help her right now other than through your thoughts and prayers.
 

Toasthead

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It can be tempting to try to fix everything and everyone and take personal responsibility for the health and happiness of the people we care about, but if you try to make everyone happy or worry about someone else’s problems when there’s nothing you can do to help you’ll just stress yourself out and before you know it, you’ve jumped into the water trying to save people and find yourself drowning as well. It’s rough watching the people we love suffer and it’s even worse when there’s nothing we can do to help.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

chickentender

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My friend is very social and her mother is encouraging us to reach out and talk to her during this time, so I'm trying to do what I can. She is my best friend and I don't really have other close friends. We normally talk daily. This happened very suddenly. Would you guys not call in this case? I know that I can't fix her and that's not what my intent with calling is. It's to make her know that we have not forgotten her. Her close friends are taking turns calling.
 

Hooligan1214

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Maybe limit it to your call shift? Allow yourself to call her when its your turn, then mute her number so you dont get bizarre texts or calls when youre not expecting them. Having control over the interactions may help ease some of the anxiety you receive from the interactions.
 

chickentender

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Maybe limit it to your call shift? Allow yourself to call her when its your turn, then mute her number so you dont get bizarre texts or calls when youre not expecting them. Having control over the interactions may help ease some of the anxiety you receive from the interactions.
Thank you, this is a good idea. I hadn't even considered blocking the number in between calls.
 

unwind by music

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music can have a profound effect on both the emotions and the body. Faster music can make you feel more alert and concentrate better. Upbeat music can make you feel more optimistic and positive about life. A slower tempo can quiet your mind and relax your muscles, making you feel soothed while releasing the stress of the day. Music is effective for relaxation and stress management.

Research confirms these personal experiences with music. Current findings indicate that music around 60 beats per minute can cause the brain to synchronize with the beat causing alpha brainwaves (frequencies from 8 - 14 hertz or cycles per second). This alpha brainwave is what is present when we are relaxed and conscious. To induce sleep (a delta brainwave of 5 hertz), a person may need to devote at least 45 minutes, in a relaxed position, listening to calming music. Researchers at Stanford University have said that "listening to music seems to be able to change brain functioning to the same extent as medication." They noted that music is something that almost anybody can access and makes it an easy stress reduction tool.

So what type of music reduces stress the best? A bit surprising is that Native American, Celtic, Indian stringed-instruments, drums, and flutes are very effective at relaxing the mind even when played moderately loud. Sounds of rain, thunder, and nature sounds may also be relaxing particularly when mixed with other music, such as light jazz, classical (the "largo" movement), and easy listening music. Since with music we are rarely told the beats per minute, how do you choose the relaxation music that is best for you? The answer partly rests with you: You must first like the music being played, and then it must relax you.
You could start by simply exploring the music on this youtube page. https://zee.gl/tE2zBP4

Some may relax you, some may not. Forcing yourself to listen to relaxation music that irritates you can create tension, not reduce it. If that happens, try looking for alternatives on the internet or consult with Counseling Service staff for other musical suggestions. It is important to remember that quieting your mind does not mean you will automatically feel sleepy. It means your brain and body are relaxed, and with your new calm self, you can then function at your best in many activities.
you can also find good music here also https://bit.ly/3elDsUL
 

DeyanUK

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It is important to support your friend, but you have to take care of yourself too.. Your health is also important!
 
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