Howlingvapor
Active Member
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
- Messages
- 143
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- 52
I never really thought of myself as a depressed person, until after my first meaningful relationship ended. For a while I felt that deep classic depression that everyone gets. That situational “my life is over I hate everyone and myself” kind of depression. But here I am 6 months later and I’m pretty much over her and yet I’m having what I’m only learning now are symptoms of depression, some of which are symptoms I’ve always had.
I’ve always had low self esteem and tendencies toward self hatred. I’ve contemplated suicide multiple times throughout my life, not just after the breakup. I’m disorganized, unfocused, and antisocial. I’m also always tired, doesn’t matter how long I sleep. In fact just today I not only overslept, but I went to bed earlier than I usually do the night before and woke up more exhausted than yesterday only to spend tonight distracted and unable to fall asleep. When I’m low energy like this I also tend to dwell on negative thoughts way too long. I have a hard time connecting with people and it’s usually because I don’t feel like putting in the effort it takes to stay in touch with someone or make plans. I also tend to avoid eating sometimes or eat too much it’s weird. Like one day eating will feel like a burden and the next a comfort. As a result I keep losing weight, because I have more days that it’s a burden.
I don’t ever want to be the guy that self diagnoses, so what do you guys think? Should I talk to my therapist about these problems? Or do these symptoms even have anything to do with depression. Honestly I’m afraid to admit to myself if it is depression. Because opening up about my anxiety was hard enough. If I’m being dumb just let me know ok.
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I’ve always had low self esteem and tendencies toward self hatred. I’ve contemplated suicide multiple times throughout my life, not just after the breakup. I’m disorganized, unfocused, and antisocial. I’m also always tired, doesn’t matter how long I sleep. In fact just today I not only overslept, but I went to bed earlier than I usually do the night before and woke up more exhausted than yesterday only to spend tonight distracted and unable to fall asleep. When I’m low energy like this I also tend to dwell on negative thoughts way too long. I have a hard time connecting with people and it’s usually because I don’t feel like putting in the effort it takes to stay in touch with someone or make plans. I also tend to avoid eating sometimes or eat too much it’s weird. Like one day eating will feel like a burden and the next a comfort. As a result I keep losing weight, because I have more days that it’s a burden.
I don’t ever want to be the guy that self diagnoses, so what do you guys think? Should I talk to my therapist about these problems? Or do these symptoms even have anything to do with depression. Honestly I’m afraid to admit to myself if it is depression. Because opening up about my anxiety was hard enough. If I’m being dumb just let me know ok.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk