Is it possible?

[SVH_2020]

but there is something that has been bothering me for the past months since February when i saw a psychiatrist for the first time and i started to take anxiety medications.

Since i was little I had problems with it, anxiety, i mean; anxiety, self-esteem problems, and you could say socializing wasn't my best ability. I have talked about this problems with professionals in different kind of sectors (My mom is one of those people who believes in magnets and such, it isn't that bad), but there is something i have never properly talked about, only mentioned

God, i don't want to sound dramatic, I don't know how to say this without sounding dramatic, I'm sorry

With low self-esteem and the anxiety came some intrusive thoughts, and with the simple intrusive thoughts, came others, suicidal thoughts.
It is rare nowdays, but back in the day they were kind of bad. I never would have done it, because, hello cruel irony, I'm thanatophobic (I'm afraid of death, for anyone who didn't knew the term), but they would come to me when i was "under a lot of pressure" (It was just my brain being dramatic) or stuff like that, school was and is a mayor trigger for the now little thoughts i get

Could be anything, stop walking in the middle of the road on my way back to school, once i stared at the window to one of the schools building and wondered if I fall from it i would die or just break my legs, to have an overdose with my pills, one i wasn't even thinking or feeling bad, i just walked into the kitchen and imagined stabbing myself with a knife. And I would also think about the afters sometimes, "How long would it take my family to get over it?", "Which of my friends would go to the funeral?", "Would i go to heaven? I don't deserve heaven" and stuff like that I can't remember

Now for the question, i think some people are gonna think I'm dumb and maybe I am, but there is something i need to know...
Is it possible to have suicidal thoughts without having depression?
All the things i said before i can sure you I had, but i never had depression, never, or at least that's what I thought, i know its dumb, REALLY dumb, but please, is it possible or not?

 

[Maliri]

It is possible to have suicidal thoughts when you do not have a depression. I recognize the feelings you get when you’re under pressure. When I have a lot to do, I just freeze and start staring at my agenda, and I think about how everything’s too much for me. Sometimes I start crying and lie down in bed. Then I think about how I can’t see myself living my entire life like this, I think maybe I’m just not made for life. I imagine how it would be if I wasn’t there anymore and what would become of the people around me. And if maybe it would be better than being anxious all the time. But it’s just thoughts, and that’s where it stops. I wouldn’t commit suicide. But sometimes I think about it. And I do not have depression, just anxiety.
Also, never think a question you ask is dumb. Every question is worth asking and you should never feel ashamed of what you question.

 

[Cuchculan]

I think a lot of people get totally fed up at times. Some question life and if it is worth it all. You know, most of these people would not even be classed as having a mental illness at all. These would just be regular people. Now take a person with anxiety issues. Far easier for things to seem a lot harder for a person with anxiety. Much like what was said in the post above. Life can seem daunting at times. It can feel like it is too much for us. i always say it is like life is going at 100mph and I am going at about 10mph. But to feel as you do can happen. But that does not mean you will ever act on how you are feeling. If it does become a serious problem, that is when help is needed. There is plenty of help out there. I know asking for it can be hard at times. Because we have to admit to how exactly we are feeling. But by doing so we can get the right kind of help.

 

[Joshua1]

With low self-esteem and the anxiety came some intrusive thoughts, and with the simple intrusive thoughts, came others, suicidal thoughts.
It is rare nowdays, but back in the day they were kind of bad. I never would have done it, because, hello cruel irony, I'm thanatophobic (I'm afraid of death, for anyone who didn't knew the term), but they would come to me when i was "under a lot of pressure" (It was just my brain being dramatic) or stuff like that, school was and is a mayor trigger for the now little thoughts i get

If you have low self esteem, and are worried about death. Make yourself fail safe mechanisms. To defeat death is to come to Christ and be spiritual, to defeat low self esteem is to believe in yourself, being spiritual and having faith can help you with both of these things.

 

[Pandanae]

but there is something that has been bothering me for the past months since February when i saw a psychiatrist for the first time and i started to take anxiety medications.

Since i was little I had problems with it, anxiety, i mean; anxiety, self-esteem problems, and you could say socializing wasn't my best ability. I have talked about this problems with professionals in different kind of sectors (My mom is one of those people who believes in magnets and such, it isn't that bad), but there is something i have never properly talked about, only mentioned

God, i don't want to sound dramatic, I don't know how to say this without sounding dramatic, I'm sorry

With low self-esteem and the anxiety came some intrusive thoughts, and with the simple intrusive thoughts, came others, suicidal thoughts.
It is rare nowdays, but back in the day they were kind of bad. I never would have done it, because, hello cruel irony, I'm thanatophobic (I'm afraid of death, for anyone who didn't knew the term), but they would come to me when i was "under a lot of pressure" (It was just my brain being dramatic) or stuff like that, school was and is a mayor trigger for the now little thoughts i get

Could be anything, stop walking in the middle of the road on my way back to school, once i stared at the window to one of the schools building and wondered if I fall from it i would die or just break my legs, to have an overdose with my pills, one i wasn't even thinking or feeling bad, i just walked into the kitchen and imagined stabbing myself with a knife. And I would also think about the afters sometimes, "How long would it take my family to get over it?", "Which of my friends would go to the funeral?", "Would i go to heaven? I don't deserve heaven" and stuff like that I can't remember

Now for the question, i think some people are gonna think I'm dumb and maybe I am, but there is something i need to know...
Is it possible to have suicidal thoughts without having depression?
All the things i said before i can sure you I had, but i never had depression, never, or at least that's what I thought, i know its dumb, REALLY dumb, but please, is it possible or not?

It's possible. It's just anxious thoughts.