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- Jun 1, 2019
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The past week I haven't been able to sleep because my mother continuously spray bug spray near the area I sleep in to kill the ants right about when I'm trying to sleep. I asked if she could do it at another time because the fumes make it difficult for me to breath, cause my eyes to burn, and give me trouble sleeping. I was treated as if I'm making an unrealistic request to ask she does this at any time other than when I'm going to bed.
Then I was told what a horrible person I was and reminded of minor slights she perceived me doing against her... and I got frustrated and mentioned a time when she physically attacked me. Then she told me I was a liar and that it never happened. I'm not sure if she's a malicious liar or so far gone that she believes it never happened and thinks I must be lying.
But regularly I deal with her telling me I'm lazy and a piece of [censored] despite me working 40 hours a week and her not having had a job in decades and screaming and yelling at me. I've been thinking of suicide a lot, cause I've been trying to save up money to move out, but I keep spending my money to go places out of the house cause I never want to be home. Cause she's at home. I don't want to be around her.
And when I'm out and about I get anxiety and don't want to talk to most people. I don't know what to say and I always assume people aren't going to like me. That no matter how well I treat someone or how civil I am, they're going to tell me what a piece of **** I am and treat me poorly. Cause that's what I grew up in. People just treating me like trash no matter what I did.
Then I was told what a horrible person I was and reminded of minor slights she perceived me doing against her... and I got frustrated and mentioned a time when she physically attacked me. Then she told me I was a liar and that it never happened. I'm not sure if she's a malicious liar or so far gone that she believes it never happened and thinks I must be lying.
But regularly I deal with her telling me I'm lazy and a piece of [censored] despite me working 40 hours a week and her not having had a job in decades and screaming and yelling at me. I've been thinking of suicide a lot, cause I've been trying to save up money to move out, but I keep spending my money to go places out of the house cause I never want to be home. Cause she's at home. I don't want to be around her.
And when I'm out and about I get anxiety and don't want to talk to most people. I don't know what to say and I always assume people aren't going to like me. That no matter how well I treat someone or how civil I am, they're going to tell me what a piece of **** I am and treat me poorly. Cause that's what I grew up in. People just treating me like trash no matter what I did.
