• Welcome to the Anxiety Community Forum, a friendly space for discussion, help and support with mental health issues. Please register to post and use the extra features available to members. Click here to register.Everyone is welcome!

I'm kinda conditioned to think people don't care about me.

JustinBailey

New Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
5
Reaction score
1
The past week I haven't been able to sleep because my mother continuously spray bug spray near the area I sleep in to kill the ants right about when I'm trying to sleep. I asked if she could do it at another time because the fumes make it difficult for me to breath, cause my eyes to burn, and give me trouble sleeping. I was treated as if I'm making an unrealistic request to ask she does this at any time other than when I'm going to bed.

Then I was told what a horrible person I was and reminded of minor slights she perceived me doing against her... and I got frustrated and mentioned a time when she physically attacked me. Then she told me I was a liar and that it never happened. I'm not sure if she's a malicious liar or so far gone that she believes it never happened and thinks I must be lying.

But regularly I deal with her telling me I'm lazy and a piece of [censored] despite me working 40 hours a week and her not having had a job in decades and screaming and yelling at me. I've been thinking of suicide a lot, cause I've been trying to save up money to move out, but I keep spending my money to go places out of the house cause I never want to be home. Cause she's at home. I don't want to be around her.

And when I'm out and about I get anxiety and don't want to talk to most people. I don't know what to say and I always assume people aren't going to like me. That no matter how well I treat someone or how civil I am, they're going to tell me what a piece of **** I am and treat me poorly. Cause that's what I grew up in. People just treating me like trash no matter what I did.
 

He Man

Active Member
Joined
Sep 21, 2018
Messages
132
Reaction score
77
Justin, welcome to the forum.. and sorry to hear what you're going thru.

Keep saving your money so u can move out, and if possible maybe squirrel away a couple dollars to occasionally see a therapist (?) I know it's a cliche' to go to therapy & talk about mom issues, but talking these things out can help.. Also I've found over the years, moving out eventually (& surprisingly) improves strained family relationships..
Good luck. Peace
 

MissUnderstood

New Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
9
Reaction score
5
You need to get outta there! Sounds like mom is doingthese things on purpose. sounds like mom is a narcissist! Keep saving your money. Move out ASAP! she is poisoning your mind about yourself. she is trying to lower your self worth because she feels unworthy. Don't be her *itch, anymore! The only way to win with a narcissist is to not play! Good luck! Let us know how you are doing!
 
Top