hopeless98
New Member
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2020
- Messages
- 11
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hi there,
I don't know what else to do. I'm sorry if I'm not following rules or posting correctly but i need some help.
It's been awhile since I posted one of these but I'm distressed. I thought that I could test out sexual thoughts with children and not get a response. J got a sexual fantasy in my brain and tried to relax. As I relaxed I figured that I wouldn't get sexually excited. Yet, I did. I got a half erection to sexual thoughts with a child.
Often I don't get answers when posting on forums, which gives me more uncertainty. I'm feeling like a pedophile and think I'm close to accepting that. The reason why I tested the thought is that I assumed that an erection wouldn't happen and wanted to prove it to myself. Now that it worked, I don't know what to do.
Some words or opinions are appreciated
It all started when a child walked into the door of my job. I was doing well the week before but I noticed his body by catching glimpses of it. I couldn't move since I thought that moving might cause an erection and it did somehow. Ever since then I've been struggling with thought patterns and behaviors like isolating myself and forcing myself to think inappropriate thoughts to get erections, which mostly don't work.
When having these thoughts, I try to close it on a good note by fantasizing about adults, which is way more successful in terms of arousal and orgasm. Yet I try to compare myself to symptoms of OCD and it doesn't feel like it matches up. I just feel uncomfortable when I have the thoughts and I have the ability to relax, so I don't know what a formal diagnosis might look like. I've tried talking to my therapist but I don't feel like it's working. That's why I'm posting here.
Someone please respond
I don't know what else to do. I'm sorry if I'm not following rules or posting correctly but i need some help.
It's been awhile since I posted one of these but I'm distressed. I thought that I could test out sexual thoughts with children and not get a response. J got a sexual fantasy in my brain and tried to relax. As I relaxed I figured that I wouldn't get sexually excited. Yet, I did. I got a half erection to sexual thoughts with a child.
Often I don't get answers when posting on forums, which gives me more uncertainty. I'm feeling like a pedophile and think I'm close to accepting that. The reason why I tested the thought is that I assumed that an erection wouldn't happen and wanted to prove it to myself. Now that it worked, I don't know what to do.
Some words or opinions are appreciated
It all started when a child walked into the door of my job. I was doing well the week before but I noticed his body by catching glimpses of it. I couldn't move since I thought that moving might cause an erection and it did somehow. Ever since then I've been struggling with thought patterns and behaviors like isolating myself and forcing myself to think inappropriate thoughts to get erections, which mostly don't work.
When having these thoughts, I try to close it on a good note by fantasizing about adults, which is way more successful in terms of arousal and orgasm. Yet I try to compare myself to symptoms of OCD and it doesn't feel like it matches up. I just feel uncomfortable when I have the thoughts and I have the ability to relax, so I don't know what a formal diagnosis might look like. I've tried talking to my therapist but I don't feel like it's working. That's why I'm posting here.
Someone please respond